Gone

The breeze from autumn’s chilly air caressed my melanin face, tickling the beads of sweat that formed on my forehead and nose. The sun that beamed over the earth wasn’t the cause of my sudden hot flash, as the weather was just right; not too hot, but not too cold. It was the rage that I felt from Dani’s lying, unfaithful, selfish ways.

The wind caressed my scalp, rushing through my long black hair as they flowed in sync together. That gust was a bit stronger, and I was grateful for it because I felt as if I was melting. Angry was an understatement. It was such a beautiful Saturday for an outing or walk in the park with a loved one, but instead, I was sitting on my third floor balcony crying my eyes out because my girlfriend lied to me about where she was going and she stayed out all night doing God knows’ what with God knows’ who, and now, it was the next morning and he was ignoring my calls and dry texting me as if he was laid up with another woman. To make matters worse, valentine’s day was right around the corner. From the looks of things, it seemed like I’d be spending another one alone. Dani always seemed to kill my vibe and take away my happiness. How can someone go from giving you butterflies to making you lose your appetite? This can’t be love.

The sound of cats screeching and hissing filled the air. I peeked over my balcony, feeling like a peasant instead of the queen that I usually portrayed myself as. I cracked a slight smile when I spotted the group of beautiful, colorful creatures. Whenever I overheard them fighting, which was almost every other day, it made me laugh out loud and it made my day. While most people preferred dogs as their fur babies, kitties were my weakness. They weren’t as boring as people assumed. In my opinion, they were quite interesting and hilarious in their own way.

 I took a deep pull from the black n’ mild that I was puffing on to calm my nerves as I redialed Dani’s number for the third time. I was in complete shock at her behavior and the way that she was treating me. She sent me to voicemail so fast that the line didn’t even get a chance to ring. I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it like it had two heads, the way that I would’ve looked at Dani for doing that, because that wasn’t us. We never ignored each other’s calls. My heart started to beat rapidly, and I felt like I was about to lose my breath.

 Dani followed up with a text message, claiming to not being able to answer her phone because she didn’t want me embarrassing her because she knew I would yell at her for the late responses, lack of communication, and lies once she realized that I had her location. My women’s intuition kicked in the night before, when she told me she was going out with her friends, and she would be back the following day. When she started acting super weird, I pretended that I needed to use her phone, went on her social media account, and shared her location with myself. She wasn’t very tech savvy, so I knew she would never notice unless someone else told her.

I put my cigar out in the ashtray, and stormed into the apartment, slamming the sliding door shut. I muttered every obscenity I could think of as I paced back and forth from the living room, dining room, and to the kitchen as if I’d find her hiding there. Unfortunately, our apartment wasn’t big enough for that to be possible. Today, it seemed even smaller and emptier. Suddenly, I wanted to take off like she had. What hurt the most was that it was so easy for her to leave me; to lie and ignore me as if I meant nothing to her.

I was a strong believer that a person simply had their preferences on who they wanted to be with or give their attention to. If they weren’t texting you, they were texting someone else and giving them the same time that you thought was just for you, to someone else. If they strictly text you and never made time to call, then there was most likely another person in the picture.

I knew that I had a bad feeling about her going out with her friends the previous night, as late as she did. They didn’t pick her up until almost midnight, and there’s nothing open around that time but legs. Dani gave me her word that there would be no funny business going on, her friends were nothing more than just that, and that I was the woman that she loved; the one who she looked forward to coming home to. I was never the type to press or complain about Dani having any freedom because I trusted her. I believed in her and every word that she promised. Dani was a lying, cheating, womanizing, master-manipulating, hypocritical, toxic, narcissistic human being. All the while, she was sexy, charming, sweet, attentive, caring, and a complete gentleman.

 When we first started kicking it, I thought I had finally found my soulmate. I was on cloud nine as I woke up to good morning texts every morning, messages, calls, and facetimes throughout the day. We used to take long walks in the park as she played my personal tour guide because I was new to the city. I’d stare into her beautiful, hazel eyes and attempt to listen intently without getting lost in them. I felt so safe when she held me in her arms as we’d watch the sunset. Our random lunch dates and visits to the library were phenomenal as were our frequent trips to the restroom where we’d sneak around and be a little naughty. Dani was such a hopeless romantic, and a Scorpio, which is a definite freak between the sheets. The qualities that made me fall for her outweighed the bad, and I was getting fed up with her crap. We were only six months into the relationship, and the honeymoon phase ended abruptly. Everything was fine until we moved in together.

My roommate, Cream, strolled casually through the front door. She was fresh off of work, dressed in her usual black scrubs and nonslip shoes. Her back-length dreads were jet-black with the ends dyed honey brown, and they were pulled back into a neat ponytail. Although she stood at only five feet tall and weighed no more than 160lbs, she was the most masculine female that I had ever met. She made most gangstas look like punks.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” Creamed asked, her brow furrowing in concern as she stopped in her tracks. We’d usually throw a couple of jokes at each other as she strolled off to her room to most likely get high and play her video games. Cream had a way of reading people’s auras; especially mine, for some reason. She looked me up and down, then squinted her eyes at me in curiosity. I usually put on a tough façade around Cream. We had an innocent, playful relationship that would remind one of two middle kids from different sides of the tracks. We loathed each other; but that was our little secret.

“She didn’t come home last night, and she lied to me about where she was going,” I admitted. It was impossible to lie to Cream. Somehow, she could always tell when I did.

“For real?! Did you try calling him?” She asked.

“Yeah, but he keeps sending me to voicemail and replying with text messages,” I said.

“Call him again,” she demanded with a hand on her hip, as if her presence was powerful enough to turn things around.

“But I’ve already called three times. I’m really not trying to be the type of girlfriend to blow up her boyfriend’s phone,” I stated.

“Girl… screw that, you need to be that type of girlfriend! Don’t let her play you like this. Now, you call her again,” Cream commanded. Her voice raised an octave, and she wasn’t usually the type to yell. She had never been a big fan of Dani. As a matter of fact, they despised one another. It was all so petty and pointless. I didn’t understand why everyone couldn’t just get along. I huffed as I redialed Dani’s number. Her voicemail came on, followed by a text message threatening to turn off her phone if I continued to call. Those were the magic words that made me snap, crackle, and pop.

              I stormed to our room and ransacked the walk-in closet, grabbing everything that she owned off of the shelves, snatching her clothes off of hangers, and shoving it all into tote bags. I even packed up her hygiene products. Cream was hot on my heels as I dragged all of Dani’s belongings down the hall and out of the front door. I put everything against the wall so that it would be out of the way of the other residents. I didn’t care if anything got stolen.

“Jess, you sure about this?” Cream asked.

“Yep. She’s obviously with someone else right now, so she can go and live with the whore,” I spat. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of Dani’s belongings as they sat outside the front door, then sent it to her along with a worded text message and demanded her to pick up her things. I told her that we were done and that I never wanted to see or talk to her again.

My heart dropped when the only response she had was to agree. I watched Dani intensely on the map as she got closer and closer to my location. I thought she was coming to fight for me; to beg for my forgiveness. All she did was grab her belongings and take off. There wasn’t a knock at the door, no message or call; nothing. She was gone, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why she left me. All I ever did was love her and be the submissive girlfriend that she wanted me to be. I didn’t deserve this.

My manicured feet padded against the hardwood floor as I ran to front door and opened it, hoping that Dani had turned around and forgotten something, or changed her mind. The breeze was the wind was whispered as it slapped my chicken legs. I folded my arms across my chest and made my way back into my apartment, knowing that this would be the part where the end started.