The Dimness of the Night

“You thought I wouldn’t come.”

The air blew through the wooden planks, creeping up Blake’s neck. It was a late summer afternoon. The sun was setting so that only the sharpness of her jaw and her nose were visible, surrounded by long shadows. There was a silence that penetrated her ears. Her eyes closed as she hugged her knees against her chest. She rocked back and forth with the wooden floor cracking louder and louder. Tears rolled down her cheeks but only a slight glimmer could be seen in the dim light. 

“Blake,” He said, “You heard me.”

She opened her eyes and looked straight at him, blankly. She no longer held that desire of embracing her past lover, to come close to him to stroke his hair amongst her fingers. She felt nothing seeing the now pale and fragile boy sitting in the shadows across her. 

“Why are you here, Noah,” said Blake finally. 

“I-I thought you wanted me here.”

Blake snickered and shook her head, “See, that’s your problem. You think you know what everyone wants.”

Noah shivered uncomfortably and buried his hands deep into his pockets, “I’m just trying to help.”

Blake laughed loudly again. She could no longer look at Noah without disgust and she knew he could sense that. She wanted to hurt him, destroy him as hard as she could. She wanted to shatter what was left of his heart and make it disappear. Blake tried to hide her pain. Her tears were already dry in her cheeks. It was only anger now as her fists clenched and unclenched over and over.

“I think you should go,” She said vaguely. 

“No, Blake. We need to talk.”

The air grew stronger as it traveled through the small spaces between each plank. Its breeze created screams that filled the penetrated silence they both created. Even though they were seated just a foot apart, Noah felt miles and miles away from Blake. It wasn’t always like that. Something had changed, it was obvious, but Noah neglected to see it. He still thought he owned Blake’s heart as he once had. 

“Oh, now you want to talk? Where were you five months ago, huh? Where?” Blake yelled, breaking his thoughts.

“I’m sorry.”

“I never want to see you again,” whispered Blake as she reached for her cane laying on the wall. She knew she had to leave to stay strong, it was the only way. This was the real end. He had abandoned her. But now she felt nothing but that deep sorrow in her that made her who she was. She opened her mouth slightly and rose to her feet, leaning on her cane for support, “This is it,” She whispered again heading towards the ladder which she had mastered climbing up and down.

Noah did not stop her. How could he? He had broken the only thing he ever wanted. He stayed hidden in the now darker shadows of the sunset. He had been a mess himself. At only 21 years old, he had lived on the streets with no control over himself. He had used too many drugs throughout his life, leading to dreadful effects. Like his departure from life. Even though he tried not to, he had trust issues, not even trusting his own shadow. He was lost. Blake had been the only good thing in his rough childhood. 

Noah sighed as he looked around the treehouse he had built with Blake’s family when they were fifteen. The now rotten wood still held together, encapsulating the many memories they had lived there. He reached to touch his now wet cheeks. He had started sobbing without realising it. He wiped his tears but it was of no use. He realised he had no one to look up to but her. His first love.

 His only love. 

He decided it was time to climb down and say goodbye to his once safe place and home. When his mother had an abusive boyfriend, Noah would sleep at the treehouse. He would turn on the small light bulb hanging from the top which would signal Blake to sneak out of her room to sleep in Noah’s arms. He sometimes cried himself to sleep, both from the pain of his wounds or the built anger of his life. He was tired of running from what was supposed to be his home. But he had no choice. He ran towards Blake so that she could save him. When it was his turn to help, he didn’t. He ran in the opposite direction, to an image in which the girl he loved didn’t need saving. 

He gathered up what was left of his strength and wiped his glassy tears once more. As he climbed down the ladder, he realised Blake was still in the backyard, sitting on a bench next to the treehouse. 

“I’m never going to leave you again,” Noah managed to say but Blake did not even look his way. She stared straight ahead, her eyes unfocused. 

Blake did not register Noah standing next to her. It was one of the things that happened to her often after the accident. She got lost in her world filled with thoughts she could not even understand herself. It was as if her soul had left with Noah that last summer night. The night she not only lost control of her right leg but of her entire self. She was in a state in which nothing really mattered. Her past dreams and goals all seemed silly and impossible. She had missed Noah for over a year but now that she had seen him she felt nothing. After all, it was all his fault. 

If only he hadn’t been drinking that night.

If only he had taken another route. 

If…

It was all a big “if” in Blake’s life after that night. She felt that it was too late for her. She could no longer be saved from the emptiness of herself. 

“Blake, please.”

Blake finally realised Noah was standing right in front of her, “You are here.”

“I am,” Noah started, “And I’m staying.”

Blake remembered those tiring hours at the hospital in which she had cried for Noah, the lost boy she had saved, and who never came to visit her.

“Why didn’t you come?” She asked emotionlessly.

Noah knew he couldn’t say exactly. He knew he had left the only person that he ever loved in a deathbed that she had luckily survived. But that he had not. 

He kneeled close to Blake staring into her blank eyes until they finally saw him. He placed his hands around her back and smiled, “I was too afraid that I couldn’t save the girl who saved me and to see all the harm I had caused you.”

Blake did not laugh this time. She realised she wasn’t over the boy that broke her. The boy who took her soul. She was still his. She started crying as she hugged Noah. He carried her into his back and climbed back to the treehouse where it had all started. He turned on the lightbulb and laid next to Blake on the wooden floor. He waited until her eyes were fully closed so that little by little he could disappear through the whispers of the wind.

From that night on the lightbulb of the treehouse would sparkle along with the dimness of the night.