It All Broke Down

Jake inquired about where his daughter’s adventurousness took her, but she seemed hesitant. This was among the countless school days she burst through their moderately priced Condo complex at the hour of 6 with hardly a hello. Jake had his suspicions of her whereabouts and explanations, but this time he insisted on knowing.

She told him that she was busy at the school and meeting up with Anthony. Jake knew about her relationship with the boy for some time now, but what bothered him more was Quinn keeping her actions at after-school hours elusive to her father. Every time she mentioned it, or even Anthony, that sensation tickled on the back of his neck. The worry.

But this was Quinn, so fuck worry. 

Briskly, their tamed debate ended with an exasperated 'fine' from both of them. Tensions rarely escalated beyond that. They both carried imperishable respect for each other, despite their personal shames. This was always affirmed when they each exchanged a nod or grin. She shuffled into their kitchen for dinner and Jake followed suit, with a long breath. But it was a mix of pride and guilt, he realized.

Even now, Jake could not help but smirk at his reputable daughter. Despite average school measures, she had become fluent in Python Django and HotJava, or something in that vein. Additionally, her resilience, especially for the past year, which grew like some sort of strong fungus that couldn;t be shaken off. Part of it owed to him, he assumed, and the rest benefited from her undisturbed privacy. That's where I went wrong, he said later on.

Jake himself had met Anthony, that lazy summer day during a pick up of Quinn from Anthony's house, and the brittled exhausted man found her taking a cigarette from Anthony lying on the futon. The incident didn't escalate beyond their immediate and unexplained departure, but Quinn never smoked or drank again.

Sometimes he wished the surreptitious activity ended there. And if it wasn’t for his daughter’s insistence, it would have. When discovering your daughter is dating an addict, it’s difficult to decide which is harder. Covering up his mistake or playing the tyrant long enough for her to forget. 

Jake grudgingly choose the former. Actually, he had to make that choice thrice on his account. Jake never appreciated the incessant gratitude that Anthony gave him until much later, when he had gone an entire half year without getting a call from him. 

While he initially prohibited Quinn from any visits with him, this declaration would morphed into compromise after Jake visited Caleb once at his house on account of his son. According to Caleb's calm verdict that evening, and Quinn's protests later, Jake could see Anthony was hedonistic yet responsible. He proved to be more than I gave him credit for, Jake said to himself when he encountered Anthony at a later, more vicious instance.

His anger was never born out of her relationship, but more of the rabbit hole Quinn was engulfed in, and the extent of it. 

But months passed, and Jake's confidence in Quinn was strong. Even if their lifestyle wasn't. Jake had been on Wall Street for that time, and although the onset was as tumultuous as stock prices, his knowledge augmented to meet his firms’ bare necessities.

He could have bought a house, but he knew he’d lose it within the first month. With their Condo, there was more air to breathe. He and Quinn rarely went out to restaurants or social events, but it didn't seem to upset her that much. After all, they seemed to fit cordially into the lives around them. 'Too much so' Jake thought.

*

What Jake would also come to realize inevitably was that Quinn also failed to mention to him, that day, how grave the situation was with Anthony. The police visited him that fateful day under the guise of worry, only to find his involvement meant more than they bargained for.

This unfortunately, was one of those certain circumstances. A decisive instance which began with Quinn and Anthony's clandestine visit to Aaron White, who was known to many in the town as a dubious old Joe. Based on what information there was, the young man finished High School years ago and was currently unenrolled in any college or respectable job.

Aaron White of course was a dealer no one wanted to double cross. First impressions made him out to be a laid back manchild, but the number of connections and places he’d been indicated he was a young man to be reckoned with. No one backed out of his business. A deal with White wasn't done until he was comfortable, with himself and his anxious customer.

One Friday, when Quinn was about to skateboard back to one of her friends house after her hour shift, White approached her. He said Anthony bought a generous amount of Cannabis from him and his payment was long overdue.

"What's this got to do with me? I'm not a customer like him." She asked flatly, unafraid of his swagger and repulsive advances.

"You're his Bonnie aren't ya," He said, puffing the smell of leftover tobacco in Quinn's face. "Dissuade him from the notion of putting it off further. Say, a week from now?"

After another forgetful haggle, Quinn gave him the finger and sped away from Starbucks before he could say another word. Shit, she thought. That big idiot bought off more than he could snuff. Probably did so in some self possession which wasn't uncommon to Quinn, despite not understanding its source. Ironically, Anthony was more cautious than any other clandestine customer under their parents. His father Caleb was an officer, but Anthony's superficial honesty granted him a decent allowance. His father Caleb hadn't caught him yet though. But his confidence made up for his anxiety. Who knew a boy could have so much dichotomy?

Quinn confronted her boyfriend about this and his nails were already blood bitten.

"What the fuck were you waiting for? For it to stack to as high as it is now!” 

“I told you. I never agreed to this. I said 5lbs, nothing more. It’s his fault!” 

“Are you sure you didn’t buy all that shit for me too? I don't even take these." She snatched a bag of powder from his backpack and threw it at him.

"I can't persuade White to postpone it any further. My own dad can't cover your ass a third time. He won't. You need that money now!"

Anthony perched on his futon, heaving as Quinn shouted. "If you don't pay by Wednesday, he's gonna tell your father, and it's over for both of us."

All the boy could do was look up at her, staring at her distress. He couldn't believe it took him this long to realize how much strife he threw on her. After a moment, limped to a stand.

"I just need to ask my dad for a bit more. He busted these dealings before in schools like this, but there's no reason he'll suspect me now."

That was his way of giving up. Quinn knew as well as he that it would take more than what his father allowed him to pay off the now stacked price White demanded. 

Quinn shook her head and snatched her backpack lying next to him. Anthony wanted to vomit. This didn't just put him at risk, his father and everyone in town would view Quinn as liable for his actions.

"Quinn," He stopped her at the door and took her hand, softly like he always did. "No matter what, I'm never gonna let them know," He said, and Quinn, out of hopeless instinct, gave him what was inevitably their final caress. Brisk and anxious. 

Trivial reassurance from a foolishly fearless boy. Bravery was a quality that Anthony carried with him regardless of consequences, and that was what Quinn admired about him. Even now, as she walked up a green hill to meet him one day, Quinn could simply shake her head again at him. His final actions were no doubt a mix of courage and compunction.

'Not unlike the measures she took to ensure his safety' Jake thought as he sat in the interrogation room across from Caleb, staring at the Acrylic mirror with dead eyes. Two kids who cared for each other more than he realized had gotten him into this mess. 'That’s the real crime' he said right then.

It was that same night, an hour after Caleb watched Quinn skate home, that the latter took the largest risk of her life. It was after dinner when Jake slid the last plate into the dishwasher and shut it.

"Hey dad, can we talk?" She said innocently, which always told Jake that something was wrong. They went to their couch and a minute later, a passionately rich conversation ignited and eventually fizzled, but never exploded. 

"You're so frank about everything. Why'd you have to date an asshole who's gonna make you a criminal!" He said with a pissed laugh. "You're lucky Caleb let him off the hook the last time. I know he's a nice kid, but he's just gonna end up like those dingbats who make this shit,"

She tried to match his authoritative tone, as she always did when in argument. "Caleb doesn't need to know. I just need the money to save him, and I fucking swear," She said leaning forward to Jake on the opposite end of the couch. "I promise you, he will never buy again. I'll make sure of it...."

He scoffed, throwing his hands up in his streamlined posture. "How? Gonna introduce the kid to cheese and cigarettes? He'll be more obese than a meatloaf."

It was a question both asked and answered sardonically. Quinn knew that Anthony was a natural liar. Lawyer's would've been proud. He wasn't the kind of boy Jake liked Quinn dating, but he tolerated it because they were alibi's to each other. Dad's respected that.

She cut him off again, before he proceeded with further insults. "He's not half witted. He cares for me and his dad a lot, and he only buys drugs because he knows he can handle it. He's got a bit of dirt, but don't tell me the adults these days are any more spotless,"

Jake rolled his eyes and leaned forward to meet Quinn on the level. She spoke. "He'll listen. I'll help him, like mom helped you,"

Jake stopped at the mention of his late wife. He recalled the day he told 10 year old Quinn of his past addiction, and felony's that were byproducts of his lust for awful glory. And his painful salvation. And her. 

"Alright," He released an exhaustion of air, looking across at Quinn. "I'll pay it off, and he stops for good. This will be your last chance," Quinn looked helpless for a moment, but then beamed like a schoolgirl. Jake smiled back involuntarily. She barely erected her spine full way before Jake beat her.

"One more time, and I’m going to knock down all the gates Whatever it is you do at school that you're so late home, I'll find out."

Quinn paused and nodded, looking forlorn. Then, resuming her typical assiduousness, she dashed off to her room to leave Jake with his thoughts. She felt a shiver of apprehension as Jake reached for his cell phone looking at a posted note on the fridge with numbers of friends.

During the police interrogation, Jake said he called Anthony that night. He told him he wasn't satisfied with his daughter's reassurance and neither should he. So Jake gave the money to Anthony and adjured him to call him back by noon tomorrow to confirm the transaction's completion.

That Tuesday morning, Anthony called Jake at his desk to affirm that the deal was done. After a sigh of relief, Jake hung up and Anthony left the locker room smiling. His relief soared to Euphoria when he turned down an offer from White at dismissal. Anthony, true to his word, declared no further purchases from him, leaving White's skin burning with rage.

"You can't just quit Tony. See, lotta of people in this school have stopped buying and we need Honest Injuns like ya to keep it strong."

Anthony shook his head with a scoff. White liked to insult his background and pray on the 'honorable portrayal' that he carried himself with, but not anymore. "You wish. I guess that business is over, Whitey. It's over for both of us."

Anthony finished with a directed laugh, reveling in the glorious neutrality of stalemate. When Jake asked later that day, Quinn said she called Anthony later that night to congratulate him and set up a date. Anthony also asked something else she couldn't remember, but was going to be resolved tomorrow.

The next day, Quinn received a panicked call from Anthony that any earwig bystanders would've called 'deep shit'. Three packs of Drugs were found in his locker and among the police reported to inspect the school was his father Caleb. Anthony fled the scene before they arrived and was at an 'undisclosed location', but needed aid.

Quinn asked if he had any suspicions of who did it, which both agreed had to be White.

"The greedy bitch didn't take my customer's resignation all that well, huh," Anthony said in humorous dread. Quinn asked him where he was hiding, but Anthony's next detail made her more trepidatious than he was.

"One of my friends called me." Said that the police found out that White behind the deals. They're leaving for his house now is what I've been told. One of the bastard's customers at school must've let slip to the cops." He mustered with despair.

Quinn sweared low enough that it hissed into the phone. White was likely unadvised that the cops were going to raid him, but his ship wasn't going down with only half the crew. The thought abruptly fazed Quinn for another reason. "Why are the cops inspecting the whole school? I thought it was just your locker,"

There was a long stretch of silence over the phone with a sigh. For a while there was only panting from Anthony and Quinn and finally a word. "My friend said that my locker wasn't the only one being watched."

Quinn nearly dropped the phone into the restroom toilet. She could barely remember where Anthony told her he was hiding. She barged out of Starbucks and skated for dear life. Her employer said she looked like an explosive was planted in the cafe, giving the customers a reasonable startle. The man said he'd fire her if she ever came back, which she probably wouldn't.

~~~~~

Caleb visited his friend's house 2 hours later unaccompanied.

When asked, Caleb told Jake that during the raid on White's house, he and his conspirators instigated a shootout before the first officer could even ring the bell. The raid ended with annihilation of the yellow and white house and discovery of several boxes of cocaine, heroin and other narcotics. White, his allies, and several cops were killed in the fight.

Among the stash of boxes and papers in the basement, Caleb's associates found a list of every transaction by White in the school, dating back nearly 10 years. White's home was only a safehouse for pirated medicine's, that were imported into the state. And the man himself was the latest in a long line of drug cartel leaders stationed in the state's various schools. 'Should've seen that one coming', he thought.

They still didn't know how many schools were involved with it which made Jake feel even more stupid. But that was the least of Jake's concern. Despite Caleb's and awestruck infuriation with his son's lies, and their collective thickness regarding both their children, Jake begged him not to take action against their children.

"You stay in your home and don't do a goddamn thing unless I say so. If she comes back here, you call me. Keep her here if you have to tie her in the basement!" He said with his typical toned antagonism toward others.

As the trigger happy officer stormed out of the house and drove off wailing to find his son, Jake decided to take matters into his own hands at last. He had many places to look for hiding juveniles. Given the circumstances, there was only one place the two of them would be hiding.

~~~~~

Jake practically scaled the steep green hill before the playground came into view. The familiar navy slide, with its triple swing set, and other harmless pieces of plastic and metal filled the 40 yard square. Many colorful memories were made in this place. Memories that had by now turned gray, and soon, colorless.

However, it seemed as though the already distraught man was met with another surprise. Leaning against the roundabout was Anthony. He looked at the ground, barely seeming to notice Jake's furious specter striding towards him.

"Quinn used to say that she'd come here all the time with her mom." He said, turning his head peripherally at the bar. "Said it was the only thing her Mom could ride with her."

His carelessness caught him off guard, but then Jake knew better than any it was all just for show. He'd seen it every time he picked Quinn up from his house.

"I got you out of your addiction prone mess for a third time, and you lie to me as gratitude! You knew she was working with White and you never said a goddamn thing!"

Jake was containing his anger that spurred from the information Caleb obtained from White's followers and the transaction papers from the house. Holding a woodchip in his hand, it took a moment for Anthony to realize that Jake discovered the awful truth. His primal instinct, 'defense by offense', took over.

"Aaron White needed a student on the inside to scatter his deals. He couldn't localize them all from his house, cops would've noticed. She said to me that she made more money off students and college druggies than she'd ever at Starbucks."

Jake took two more feet forward and halted again. "She's a good kid and so were you. You had your issues, but she said you loved her. Everything me and Caleb wanted you to be. But she lied. You fucking lied!" 

He twirled the wood in his hand with amazing dexterity, before making eye contact again. "You should be proud. At least she wasn't a hophead like me and the other students. She did this so you and her could afford better food, more enjoyment. She told me every fucking time I brought it up, she wanted to be a family with you. Fill your void."

'Wanting more'. Jake recognized Quinn's unique method of coping with anguish. He always knew that she wanted to bring more to their shallow lives. Jake only made a bare minimum amount to pay off rent, buy food that was increasing in price, and send her off to school. Caleb said he was willing to employ Quinn at a friend's place, but she said that Starbucks and after-school service would suffice. Jake never questioned it.

But for all that time, Jake couldn't imagine how long she was doing this. Dragging boxes of powder from White's car into the school basement. Delivering money and splitting the profits with that scum who may have, 'god forbid' Jake hoped, taken advantage of her.

Jake just watched Anthony in that moment, berated their idiocy further and to an extent his own. What's worse, neither of them had a clue where Quinn left. All Anthony did was shrug modestly and plead for his understanding.

"Caleb's gonna kill you, you know." He said with a sigh, exhausted from his burning forehead and the solar waves beating down on both of them. "He's gonna have Quinn's ass too."

He clutched the chip tightly and assumed standing posture from the Roundabout rail. 

"No, you cannot do this to her. You can fucking arrest and lethal inject me if you want, but just leave her out of it. She's heartbroken enough as it is."

Jake looked on, considering the boy's genuine concern for Quinn, even in the face of his current conviction. The delusions of teenagers yearning for counterfeit love could no longer be an explanation for Anthony's selfless request. Jake was forced to gaze at the mirror again and see himself not in his daughter, but in Anthony. The boy he had wanted nothing to do with had now become a product of recycled history.

"I guess high school relationships aren't all bullshit." Jake said out loud, not gazing up to see if Anthony heard him or not.

The fresh memory of the encounter with Anthony continued to swarm his mind. A deer caught in headlights is what a bystander would describe it as.

"Listen to me. You're gonna help me find Quinn, before the cops. And if all goes well, we can sweep this under the rug. Got that!"

Anthony tossed the woodchip away and followed Jake back to his car in a haste. He asked Jake where they'd go, and he offered some ideas as they reached the car. Jake reminded him to ride shotgun, which was an odd request to Anthony.

That moment was the end of Anthony and Quinn's credibility, and they both discretely recognized the abstinent and scrupulous road to rebuilding it. Life was colorless afterward for both of them, for Jake, and even a certain consternation covered the whole town.

'Regardless', Jake mused, 'we don't always learn from our mistakes. We must always be sharp.'

'Regardless', Anthony professed, 'justice isn't gray. It's true blue.'

'Regardless', Quinn told herself, 'Altruism and Selfishness are often nebulous. I got a helluva lot to learn.'