Four O'clock Appointment

Four O’Clock Appointment

I had a four o’clock veterinarian appointment for my aging black Labrador Retriever Jordan. It was a ten-minute drive from our house in Chugiak to Eagle River. It was late summer which meant the Fireweed was going to seed, a clear sign winter was not far behind.

There was plenty of room in our van for Jordan to lie on a blanket in the back.

“How are you doing, girl?” I asked, but she did not respond, preferring to sleep instead.

This would be a very difficult appointment. It was hard to believe she had been with me for fourteen years through some of the most difficult times in my life.

I came home from duty one day and there was a labrador puppy waiting for me.

“I think you need a companion.” She told me as I was greeted enthusiastically by the puppy.

“What are you going to call her?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” I said as I held the squirmy thing who kept trying to lick me in the face.

“Jordan.” My step-son answered. He was six foot ten inches and was one of the starting forwards on the Highland High School basketball team. His hero was Michael Jordan, so Jordan it would be.

I struggled to get Jordan in the car. She was unable to walk, so I had to carry her to the car. There was little doubt in my mind, Jordan would not be in the car on the return trip from the Veterinarian.

I put a blanket on the floor of our van.

“Our appointment is at four o’clock.” My wife reminded me.

I did not need a reminder, but I didn’t say that. Jordan lay on the blanket unable to move.

After my divorce and discharge from the United States Air Force, I sat surrounded by redwood trees on the wrap-around deck of my cabin as Jordan lay next to me. It was early morning. The sun was climbing in the crystal blue sky, but it would be a while before it could penetrate the distant canopy of the tree branches several hundred feet above.

“What a beautiful morning isn’t it, girl?” I reached down to pet her on the head. “We should go for a walk in Armstrong Woods later.”

She wagged her tail in response.

We had moved to a tiny cabin in the redwoods after my divorce from my second wife was final. I wished to become a hermit and explore the wonders of my new home just like Theareau at Walden Pond. I did not have a pond, however, instead I had the Russian River that rambled about a quarter mile from where I was sitting.

I packed my pipe with tobacco, lit it and sat back in my chair. Life was good here. I had my reservations about leaving it all behind, but at this moment, I was happy and content. A breeze blowing through the trees filled my sails, offering hope of this new day.

We arrived at the Eagle River Veterinarian Clinic a few minutes early. I wanted to get there early so I could get Jordan settled and comfortable in the waiting area. She hadn’t moved a bit from the blanket I had put on. Opening the sliding door on the side, I patted her on her head, “C’mon girl, we have to go inside.”

“You might have to carry her in.” My wife remarked, “She doesn’t appear like she can do it.”

I did not look forward to the task. Jordan wasn’t that heavy, but I was afraid that lifting and carrying her would disturb her causing her discomfort.

“Okay, I’m going to carry you inside.” I put my arms around her and lifted her. The awkward angle made it difficult. I could hear her groan.

Slowly I walked up the sidewalk with her in my arms. She did not seem to be in any pain as we entered the clinic.

Later in the day we went into Armstrong Woods. We walked together through the trail entrance near the ranger post. When we got to the sign at the trailhead access, I began to jog after I took her off her leash. She would run at my side for the entire three-mile concourse that looped through the thick growth of a forest of sequoias. I liked the trail, because the density of the woods kept the trail at a constant damp and a comfortable sixty degrees. There was a clearing at the top of a hill that was blasted by the sun, but it was tolerably brief.

When we got back to the car, I put her on the leash so if there was anyone else, they would not be inclined to scold me for not having Jordan on her leash. It happened once, but after that I was a bit more cautious.

“How are you doing, girl?” I would ask as I led her to the car. Although she never answered me, I could tell she enjoyed her jog through the woods.

“Good afternoon.” A woman dressed in a white smock greeted us in the waiting area. “I’m Dr. Tadlock.”

“Dr. Tadlock.” I shook her hand.

“And how is the patient?”

“I’m afraid Jordan is not doing so well.” I shook my head.

“May I have a look?” She asked.

“Of course.” I nodded. Jordan did not budge when Dr. Tadlock put her hands on Jordan’s chest.

“Seems like she is having some respiratory difficulties.” She put her stethoscope on Jordan’s chest. Jordan began to pull away, “Yes, it’s okay girl.”

I swallowed hard.

With my inner tube and my school textbooks inside my backpack, I sat in the inner tube as Jordan waded into the Russian River. As she began to swim into deeper water, I grabbed onto her collar. Together we went across the sluggish river until we landed on the other shore. I would let go of her collar and stand with my backpack. I wandered through the weeds and cattails. The path led to a sandy beach where I would spread out while Jordan continued to swim contently in the river.

The Russian River had boat rentals upriver where people could rent canoes and kayaks. On a beautiful day like this, there would be a parade of watercrafts paddling toward Guerneville. Jordan would swim out to these crafts passing by as if she was an ambassador of the Russian River. Some of the people in the boats would reach out and pet her on the head. She liked that very much. It would always make me laugh to see her.

I needed to laugh. I was living on a shoestring budget. For the first time in my life, I was all alone. Thinking about it scared me. Taking the deal the Air Force offered I would get an early-out along with fifty grand. It was part of a reduction in force, but my ex-wife told me she should get half and said she’d go to a lawyer. I did not wish to fight her on this, so I gave her half leaving me with twenty five grand. I had used the money to buy a new compact car. Since Rincon Valley was over twenty miles from my cabin, I needed a car that got good gas mileage. My car averaged over thirty miles a gallon, but in the second week I owned it, backing out of my narrow driveway, I misjudged the angle and tore off part of the front panel. Still drivable, the car bore a scar it would have until I traded it in on the van. Looking at it in my driveway, first I screamed and then the tears soon followed.

“I feel a growth near her hip.” Dr. Tadlock told me. “We can do an x-ray to be sure. We can begin a treatment, but it will be quite costly.”

I felt my heart skip a beat. I could not afford a lot.

“I must also tell you that in some cases the treatment may not work.” She shook her head.

Jordan was laying in my lap, her eyes open, but unable to move comfortably. I felt her struggle to breathe, in and out, in and out. I glanced at my wife. Her expression told me she already knew what the best option would be.

I would drive west on River Road until I got to Goat’s Rock near Jenner by the Sea. Goat’s Rock towered out of the waves of the Pacific Ocean. I would take Jordan on her leash across the beach to where the Russian River ended with just a whimper. In the cold waters of the Russian River was one of the largest seal colonies I have ever seen.

As we neared the colony, a park ranger came up to us. She stopped us by saying, “I’m sorry, but the seals are nesting. You cannot bring your dog any further.”

“Alright.” I agreed, “C’mon Jordan, we have to turn around. We are not allowed in this area.”

“Thank you, sir.” She smiled as we walked away from the colony.

Jordan did not like the ocean water. She did not wish to wade into foaming surf. I was actually glad since there were a lot of rip tides and sneaker waves that could drag her out into the turbulent waters off shore. Once we were far enough from the seal colony, I took her off the leash. It was a cold gray day and there was no one sunbathing on the beach. Jordan ran happily along the shore until she stopped dead in her tracks. Following her eyes, I saw a seal pup a few yards off shore bobbing in the water. Jordan was fascinated with the seal pup. She ran into the water. At first I was afraid, because seals were known to be hostile toward strange creatures like Jordan. But they went nose to nose. Then the seal dove into the waves. Jordan followed the seal, and they played tag in the surf. I could not believe what I was witnessing, but it sure was fun to watch. Several minutes later, dripping sea water, Jordan came wading out. The seal had disappeared in the cold gray water.

“Did you have fun?” I asked my very wet dog. Her tail was wagging.

“We have decided to have her put down.” I told Dr. Tadlock as I stroked Jordan’s head, choking back the tears.

“It does seem that would most likely be the best and most humane option.” Dr. Tadlock agreed. When I looked down at her resting in my lap, I could see in her eyes that she too agreed. She had no way of telling how bad the pain was, but her eyes managed to say it all.

My wife put her hand on my shoulder. She knew I was having a difficult time with this.

At their first meeting, Jordan did not like my wife. We had just started dating. Jordan was miffed, because her designated place was by my side when I was on the papasan couch. When my wife started coming over, Jordan would push herself between us and then look up at my new girlfriend as if to say, “He’s mine, not yours.”

Eventually Jordan realized that her status had changed, and she accepted my new girlfriend when I moved into her house later that year. Jordan would have two new dogs to contend with, Barney and Ed (female). They were Schnauzers, but Jordan seemed to like both of them. Barney was one of the smartest dogs I have ever known while Ed was just the opposite.

Dr. Tadlock came into the room at the clinic where I was holding Jordan. She had a syringe of sodium pentobarbital. She put it on the examination table. “I will administer this to her. It may take a few seconds before this stops her heart.”

“Alright.” I swallowed back some more tears. This was becoming harder than I thought.

“Are you going to hold her?” She asked.

“Of course.” I shook my head.

Was there any doubt in the matter? All that time we had spent together; I was not about to let her alone in her final moments. I would hold her. I would hold her as she breathed her last.

We traveled up the Al-Can in 1995. Amy’s mother drove her car with our infant child. While I had Jordan, Barney and Ed in my small car as we made our way through Canada. When I heard about the highway, I assumed that it would be a smooth ride all the way to Alaska.

I was wrong.

Traveling through British Columbia, we would stop at Hope where supposedly Rambo had been filmed. There was a musty odor ever present in the damp air and not a hint of any sunshine. Traveling through Calgary and Edmonson, the climate did not change. It was autumn. The land was getting ready for the upcoming winter as the leaves in the trees had changed colors.

There was a point when we had left Edmonton, I looked in my rearview mirror. I saw the flat road miles behind me and not a single headlight anywhere to be seen. My wife’s car was in front of me, but not a single soul was driving in the empty miles behind. I shivered as the realization went through me that out here, we were the only souls traveling west to Alaska. I had a total feeling of isolation.

The rest of the drive was hard as we snaked through end of season road construction and over unpaved muddy roads as the rain continued to follow us. We entered Alaska through Beaver, but the scenery did not change very much with the gloomy rain soaked clouds following us all the way to Chugiak which would become our new home.

Chugiak is about thirty miles north of Anchorage. Most of the area is wooded and rugged.

Jordan and I found new trails to hike. One street over there was a pond a beaver had constructed with White Birch and some pine. In the middle of the pond there was a dam that served as a shelter for the beaver.

Jordan waded into the pond and then swam at the beaver. The beaver, unlike the seal pup, was not happy with this new invader of his sanctuary. The beaver slapped his tail on the water as a warning for Jordan not to get too close.

“Are you ready?” Dr. Tadlock held the syringe in her hand.

“Not really, but…” My voice faded as tears rolled down my cheeks.

“It’s okay.” My wife reached out and put her hand on my back.

“I could come back if you’d like.” Dr. Tadlock suggested.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m ready.” I sucked in my lip. “Are you ready, girl?”

Jordan did not respond as I watched Dr. Tadlock inject the syringe into Jordan’s hackles. I closed my eyes that were filled with tears. Jordan lifted her head one more time, glanced at me and they laid her head back in my lap. Her heartbeat ceased and I knew she was no longer with us in that room.

“So long, girl.” I let my tears flow freely down my cheek. Some of them landed on her as she lay still in my lap.

“She’s gone.” I announced as she exhaled for the last time.

My wife wiped some of her tears away upon hearing this.

“I can have them wrap her if you choose to bury her.” Dr. Tadlock removed her gloves.

“Yes, that would be fine.” I nodded.

One of the technicians took Jordan from my lap.

“Are you alright?” My wife asked me.

“Yes, I am fine.” I lied, because I was not fine.

“She’s at peace now. No more pain. She will have Ed to play with now.” My wife tried to comfort me, but there was no comfort for me now. It made me sad because Ed had passed away a year before.

Our appointment at four o’clock was over and it was time for us to go home.