Sunflower

Intimidating presence, blinding brightness, and scorching passion—if someone posed such qualities, they would certainly be compared to the blazing ball of fire that sat at the center of the universe. Maybe that was what her parents hoped for when they named her “Sun”; for people to look at her and be in constant awe. However, Sun, 29, freelance writer, was far from being such a figure.

It had been a week since gray clouds enveloped the skies, and it had been far longer since Sun made contact with her family and friends. Living alone in another city provided her the solitude she so longed for, but it also meant she had to put more effort into maintaining relationships. She was aware of this, but still, she was not trying hard enough. 

"Mom, why is it so dark outside?" the little girl on the next table asked her mother as she munched on her cake. 

Although Sun preferred to stay at her apartment, she sometimes worked outside to get stimuli by being in a different environment. She liked writing at the park benches in the afternoon the most, especially when the skies were turning orange and the wind was barely felt, but today had not given her that opportunity. Still, she had no choice but to go out despite the gloomy weather for free Wi-Fi. She hated using an umbrella, so she was lucky that her only hoodie, a black, waterproof one, was already dry and ready to wear in case it finally rained later. “I’m sorry for making you wait! H-here’s your drip coffee,” the server anxiously apologized to her. It’s obvious that she was new. Sun forced herself to give the server a soft smile as consolation. 

“Because it’s going to rain soon,” the mother explained to her tiny one. “What about the sun?” her daughter genuinely asked, “Did the sun disappear?”

Sun put her earphones on again. She had been wearing them since she started working but the music was distracting her so she took them off. Usually, music helped her create a wall to separate herself from the world, but for some reason, it didn’t help her today. She decided not to play a song, so the background noises continued to surround her but a little softer than before. 

“No. The sun is just taking a rest.”

---

Only 14 minutes left until 5 PM. 

It’s probably because the whole day was gloomy, so Sun lost track of time. She needed to finish her essay immediately to re-read and edit it before sending. This had been her job for a long time but she still had days where she needed to force herself to run against the deadline. 

If she’s being honest with herself, she’s barely hanging on. This wasn’t what she dreamt of doing in the first place. She wanted to explore and film curiosities. She wanted to see everything and let people see what she saw. But all she could see now was a virtual sea. 

“Sun?”

Out of all the people that she could meet that day, it just had to be a successful ex-colleague. “Hey, long time no see,” Sun greeted back. It surprised her that Diana still remembered her. “I know. When did we last see each other?” Diana asked while approaching her. “Before I left the company, I guess,” Sun reluctantly answered. She didn’t want to prolong the conversation, especially since she knew how talkative Diana could be. Also, Diana looked like a total professional in her beige suit, which caused Sun to hear her self-confidence crumble. “Oh! Are you doing something?” “Yeah, I’m working.” “Sorry!” “No, I’m about to finish,” Sun immediately regretted saying that because it sounded like she’s okay with Diana entering her space right now, but it’s not like she could just say that she’s not in the mood to entertain people. “I’ll order first,” Diana said as she hurried to the counter. Sun took that as a signal that she would come back, so she mentally prepared herself for it.

Maybe it was thanks to Diana’s interruption that Sun felt a rush of thoughts that helped her write her last sentences seamlessly. “Without the rain, the land will dry and the plants won’t grow. You must have a little bit of grey to have lots of green. The other colors will follow naturally.” Sun slumped after she hit send and closed her laptop, only to fix her posture again after she saw Diana coming back. 

“So, what are you up to now? Where are you working?” Sun stiffened while Diana made herself comfortable at the seat in front of her. She disliked when people asked her such questions because she felt embarrassed. Still, she answered, “I do freelance writing. I accept any requests as long as I can do it.” “So you write stories? Or copy?” “I do both sometimes, but it’s mostly essays for students.” “That’s cool! But do you still write fiction? I remember your short film in college… Sunflower, is it?” Feelings of shock and appreciation overwhelmed Sun but she didn’t make it obvious. “The time-travelling one?” “Yes! It’s seriously one of the best short films I’ve seen. It’s so simple but so... heavy.” “Thank you,” Sun shyly replied. “I still write but they’re all shelved. I don’t really have the time to do films now.” “Aww… but at least you’re still writing!” “Yeah…” 

Sun was aware of this habit of hers where she’s only answering and not throwing the questions back to the other person. That’s why there’s an awkward silence. Diana was typing on her phone, so she may not have minded the situation, but Sun was uncomfortable. “What about you?” Sun asked despite already knowing the answer just to remove her uneasy feeling. “I still work at the station! Ma’am Chi left a few months ago, so I took her position.” “Ah…” Jealousy. It crept up on Sun. “I did hear her leaving. So you’re a head producer now? Congrats!” “Thank you! It’s a little bit of a hassle though. Do you remember Sir Dennis?” She didn’t. “Yeah... why?” “He’s still the same. He’s on a different team but he kept asking us for favors! Luckily, we’ll be launching a new show soon so he can’t disturb us since we’re busy... I can’t imagine how Ma’am Chi was able to endure him all these years.” 

It’s quiet again. Sun was taking her time to sip her drink. “Oh! Are you done working?” Only after she put her phone down did Diana realize that Sun’s laptop was already folded. “Yeah, my deadline was 5 PM.” “I see. I thought you stopped because I’m here,” Diana laughed before looking out the window. Sun did the same, and the conversation stopped once again. No matter how friendly Diana is, she must also feel awkward sometimes, Sun assumed. Her neck was starting to hurt but she didn't want to remove her gaze from the window because it might make things more uncomfortable than it already was. That’s why she didn’t notice that Diana was looking at her again.

“You’re still the same.”

There it was. One of the many phrases Sun hated to hear the most. The last time someone said that to her was when she went to a high school reunion. At least one person would always point out how she’s still the same. She would also notice no difference with her classmates and friends whenever she saw them. But for them to voice out that she’s still like before, Sun assumed that could only mean that her classmates must’ve experienced change in some ways and she’s the only one who hasn't. It’s not that Sun didn’t agree with other people’s “you’re still the same.” She also thought nothing changed about her despite everything that happened in her life. It’s just that she didn’t know what to say after it. 

“It’s nice to see someone like you,” Diana said wholeheartedly. 

BAM!

“I-I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! It was my mistake!” The new server made a mess four tables away from them. “Please excuse our employee. Let me replace your drink with a new one,” the manager calmly apologized to sort out the situation. “It’s fine,” the customer said with a smile. 

“I feel bad for people like them,” Diana frowned. “For the server?” “Yeah, she looks super anxious. I can never work in a condition like that. If I were her, I’d take a rest. She’s lucky the customer is kind.” Sun didn’t expect Diana’s words towards another person could personally offend her. “I feel nervous. I bought seven cups of coffee,” Diana looked around to see if there were other servers in the coffee shop. “Is that your order?” Sun pointed to the cups being organized on the counter. “I think so! Maybe I should just go and get it,” Diana hurriedly went to the counter before anyone could deliver the drinks to her. Sun relaxed as soon as Diana left her seat. She felt guilty but she couldn’t help herself but be relieved that her friend may be leaving soon. 

“Did you buy it for your team?” Sun asked as soon as Diana came back. “Yeah, we just had our pitch and we’ll be doing overtime for revisions, so I thought of treating them,” Diana answered as she picked up her things. “I’ll be leaving then! How about you?” “I’ll stay here for a bit.” Sun initially planned on going back to her apartment immediately after working because she didn’t want to get rained on, but leaving with Diana might feel awkward. Fortunately, she had an actual reason to stay behind. “My apartment Wi-Fi got cut so... Are you walking back?” “Yeah. You know the parking here is the worst.” “Right... I hope it doesn’t rain yet.” “I hope so too. See you again?” “Yeah, see you next time.”

---

There was no work left for Sun to do. She also already emptied her cup. Her social media accounts were uninstalled so she couldn’t use them to pass the time. Not that she wanted to scroll through her feed, which she assumed to be full of people seemingly living better lives than her. It would just make her mood worse. She didn’t feel like reading books either. It’s been at least ten minutes since Diana left and the rain might pour any time soon, but Sun, now with her hoodie up, remained in her seat, staring blankly ahead. 

“Hurry up and finish your cake already,” the same mom from the other table urged her daughter who was busy coloring her book. She’s worried about the rain. “No. I have to color the sun! The sun will come back if I put color into it,” the little girl said with confidence. “No, baby. It doesn’t work like that,” the mom answered with a smile while she fixed her daughter’s coloring materials. “Give me your pens.” The little girl did what she was told but with a pout on her face. “And finish your cake... please?” “Okay.”

Sun turned her laptop on again and scrolled through a ton of files. She scanned each title and found a document titled, “Sunflower.” She opened it and read,

-

"INT. COFFEE SHOP. DAY.

...The little girl munches her last spoonful of cake. Her mother is busy putting her coloring materials inside her BAG.

GIRL

Mom, may I ask you something?

MOTHER

What is it?

GIRL

You said the sun is resting.

When will it come back?

The mother zips up her daughter’s bag and looks at her.

MOTHER

It will come back after it rains.

GIRL

Why does it have to rain first?

I don’t like the rain. 

Everything gets wet and it feels cold.

The mother thinks carefully on how to answer the child. She leans forward to her little one.

MOTHER

The sun gets tired. 

It needs to rest or else, it’ll get sick. 

You feel hot when you’re sick, right? 

The sun is the same. 

The rain helps the sun cool down.

GIRL

So... they’re friends? 

The sun and the rain?

MOTHER

Yes. They exist together.

The mother glances at her daughter’s plate.

MOTHER (CONT.)

All done? 

The little girl nods, her face smeared with cake icing. The mother wipes it away with her HANDKERCHIEF. 

MOTHER (CONT.)

Let’s go.

The mother and daughter leave the coffee shop, unaware that a pair of eyes from the table next to theirs are following them. It doesn’t leave them even until they reach the end of the sidewalk and as they wait to cross the street. The eyes belong to a woman wearing a black hoodie or HOODED WOMAN, trying her best to look discreet. From the Hooded woman’s seat, there is at least a good distance to where the mother and daughter are now, so she definitely cannot hear them talk anymore. Not that she needs to anyway. As if she has their words memorized, she plays their conversation like she’s having a one-man play.

HOODED WOMAN

But how do we know if the sun will come back? 

(beat)

What if it never comes back?

-

One drop after another. The rain fell gently on the roofs and streets, but the sound it made filled the entire city. It didn’t distract Sun from reading her script, not until after she took a deep breath and continued with an almost inaudible voice,

“You just believe like a young sunflower.”

---

It was 12 minutes before 6 PM. 

Sun fixed her things and noticed that the new server was nowhere to be seen. She rarely went to this coffee shop but it was one of the few places in the area that she was familiar with. She hoped that the next time she came back, she'd see the same server. She hoped she’d be okay until then. 

Sun walked out the shop, holding a phone to her ear. “Hello?” the woman on the other side of the line spoke. “Ma,” Sun called with a voice that contrasted the weather. “What is it? Are you coming home?” Sun stifled a laugh. She made the decision just a minute ago, and yet, her mother could already tell what it is. “Yeah, I’ll go home after the rain.”