Colleagues

My God she is being such a bitch.

“So” Ryka said, "The man died and on the third day walked out of the tomb. Another zombie story is what this sounds li

  “It isn’t a zombie story! He was living. Zombies don’t live.”

    “They walk-“

  “They’re dead!” Why couldn’t she understand? “They rot. It’s an evil spirit that animates them. He was alive, as you and me are.”

   “And he said this is my body and my blood, eat and drink it. You have to admit that is very strange.”

  “It’s symbolic,” George said through gritted teeth. “It is bread we eat and wine we drink. You know that. You just want to mess with me.” Out of all the people on earth he had to get stuck with her for a partner. Out of all the people in the world he had to get stuck with this lot. She was probably the most tolerable and that wasn’t saying a whole hell of a lot. Well, he supposed, that is what happens when you get caught fencing illegal items. You get the missions no one else wants and with people you cross the street to avoid.   The police had slapped his hand until he got hold of two beehives. In this day and age, they were extremely valuable. How was he to know they were stolen from the New York Mafia? Of course, they and the FBI got involved. Some bad cesh went down, people shot, and now here he was. Unfair. Completely unfair.

   “And then he rose into the sky. As if that is where heaven is.”

    “Bear in mind this was written by ignorant people 2100 years ago. 2151, to be exact. Also, translated numerous times.”

  “Of course it’s wrong, for that is not where the chosen place is.”

   “Oh yeah? So where is it?”

   “There is not one. To think there is a heaven is illogical and uneducated.”

    George took some very deep breaths. Ryka had all the tact of an android. In fact, the androids had more, being programmed to be considerate. “Okay but what do your people believe? They must believe something since you just got through saying that’s not where the chosen place is.”

   “It certainly is not there,” she said, gesturing at the spaceship’s window.

   “I’ll grant you that.” George walked to the small port window and looked out at unfamiliar stars. How far had they come? He no longer remembered. But he knew why they were here. The private space company ASSL had found a possible earth like planet in this God forsaken region of space. Even using their new space warping devices it had taken two years to get here. This was why America took a page from history and sent criminals to scout these worlds. Criminals and the possibly insane who didn’t mind going on a spaceship for years. Truth was, ASSL would take anyone willing who didn’t get too space sick. If the criminals and the undesirables died trying, so what? At least America didn’t have to feed them. That had been a problem ever since these damned climate change immigrants had come here. At least he’d be fed better on ship than prison and a hero when he got back. If he got back. He rubbed his shoulder and wondered what his age would be then. Space warping messed with time. What had been two years for him might have been two weeks back home. Or four years for them. “But if not in the sky then where?”

  “Underground. Where things grow and are nourished.” Ryka straightened herself up. “That is where it is.”

  “No. That’s where hell is. It’s hot there. People burn in hell.”

   “Because God lets the devil roam free to cause evil and mayhem. Yet he’s omniscient and omnipotent. Demons roam around. Ha. Your people thought-”

  “I thought we long ago settled that! Besides, better than being eaten by your god, as you believe,” George growled.

  “It’s a way to become one with his Holiness. We nourish him and He us.” Ryka was almost in George’s face now. They glared at each other. Then she relaxed and stepped back. “You’re insane,” she added.

   “No doubt seeing as how I work with you.”

   “I am the only thing that saves you.” She gave what passed for a smile for her and she went over to check the navigational system. For her size her footsteps were light. Well they did have reduced gravity on this ship. George sighed. Long ago he had made his peace with these immigrants. The war between his people and hers were over now. But it didn’t mean he wanted to share a spaceship with her and ten other idiots.

   Maybe, said his mother’s ghost in his head, if you’d listened, made an honest living…

   Maybe if you were a better damn mother, I would have…but no. You had to leave Dad to run off with that Tom moron.

  Yeah, okay, blame me. I didn’t run off. And your father was virtual world addicted. What else could I do?

  Well you might as well have run for all you helped me. I told you Tom beat me…

   “Stop talking to yourself and come look at this, George.”

    “Can’t do without me, can you? I tell you you'll miss me the day I'm gone.”

     Ryka contemplated smacking him. A shame they were monitored. Easy now, she thought. This can’t be easy for him. You are an immigrant in every sense of the word.

    No. My great- great parents were. I am not.

     Still. Give the guy a break. Besides, you know as well as I do you were goading him. You cannot make fun of anyone’s religion no matter how silly.

  Oh, I will give him a break all right. “I am not sure we are staying on course. So, I seek your opinion.”

   “My opinion is you can’t read.” He pushed past her and looked at the screen. “Well, you’re right. We are off. Why didn’t you correct it?” But he knew if she could, she would have. She may be annoying and more of a know it all than any android. But she also wasn’t stupid. He pressed buttons. “Why won’t the course correct?”

   “I do not know. I thought it was a programming error. But that is not my forte. So, I ask you.”

 George pulled up the navigational system's program. “Hal looks okay.” Someone's idea of a joke. “I think…it’s a hardware problem. But we got no warnings about it.” He hit the intercom button. “James! Get down here. NOW!”

  “That was my ear. Did you have to shout in it?”

  “Well excuse me. It's not my fault that moron can't hear right.”

“I do not think he can be a moron. He has no IQ, right? So that makes him an idiot.”

“Same thing these days. James. Did you turn off an alarm?”

  “I did.” James stood there looking for all the world like a handsome movie star human. Or he would have if his hair wasn’t messed up and his shirt wasn’t on backwards.

  “You stupid bucket of bolts your programming is messed up again.” George sighed. It wasn’t until after he signed up and was in earth’s orbit that he learned this company cut corners in every conceivable way. And why not? This mission was probably doomed to fail so they didn’t give them the top of the line technology. That was saved for the missions that had a chance to succeed. For example, the biosphere on Mars. But only the very wealthy could afford to go there, leaving out 99 percent of the population of earth. If they found an earth-like planet with an atmosphere they didn’t have to constantly maintain, then the costs of colonizing would be a lot less. George had been born in what was left of Florida. People there ate grits, meat made from insects, dealt with rationing and spent a lot of time in online virtual worlds. They did that to forget that between the native born and the immigrants there wasn’t much plant life left. They were slowly bringing it back. Actually, the immigrants helped. They had so much knowledge that really everyone should have listened to them sooner. Meanwhile, finding another livable planet would be a big help. Even bringing back samples and seeds would help. Now George had to deal with an extremely out of date android. “Did I order you to turn off the alarms?”

  “Did you?”

  “Great. Now I have to go through his programming. Again.”

   “Let me.” Ryka walked over and smacked the android in the back of the head. James shook, rattled, and said, “No you did not order me to turn off the alarms.”

   “Works every time,” said Ryka, with her strange smile.

   George shook his head, sighed, and said “Then why did you?”

    “So that you could sleep uninterrupted.”

     “James, you can’t do that. It’s good Ryka caught it in time that we are drifting off course. Now we need to find out why. What did the alarm say?”

    “I do not know.”

    Oh, what the hell. George smacked him too. It hurt like hell but it worked.

    “A thruster is malfunctioning. It is the gyro. Someone must take a spacewalk and fix it.”

  Ryka said, “I vote for the bucket of bolts here to do it.” She gestured at James.

   “Unfortunately, I don’t trust the bucket of bolts. And you’re the hardware person. Everyone else is still asleep. It’s our shift.”

  “Chivalry is dead I see,” she said.

  “Been dead two hundred years. We’ll both go. Out of the goodness of my hard, little heart.”

 “Gee. I am touched.”

 George smiled and patted her bony shoulder. “You should be. Well, let’s go suit up and get this over with before we end up in a black hole or a sun.”

 “I should be so fortunate,” Ryka muttered and went to her room to get her suit. Unfortunately, she had a feeling if she did die the Holiness would spit her back into reincarnation. And for her actions as an assassin she probably deserved it. It had all been for a good cause, protecting what was left of the Amazon rainforest from an idiot dealer and his cartel. This idiot didn't even want to develop it for food or she might have understood. This one wanted it for coffee. A drug at best, she thought and not even a good one.  Worse, he was of her people. He claimed earth’s warming couldn't get any worse. Did he not study their history?  Still, her actions had been unethical and not kind. Certainly, innocents had gotten caught in the fighting. Hence why she was here with this thief and liar. As if she was any better, she thought.

  Suited up they went through the hatch and out onto the spaceship. At least the suits were better than the old moon walk ones. They created a force field that held oxygen and pressurized atmosphere around the wearer. They were still rather hot and restricting to wear. Furthermore, they used electromagnets to attach the astronaut to the ship. Walking was difficult. Well, for Ryka it was. George was finding it easier than he thought. Too easy, he thought. We need to be quick about this.  Slowly they made their way, pulling replacement parts behind them on a tether, over to the thruster. “The gyro is definitely burned out,” said George. “I hope it doesn’t happen again, since this is the only spare we have.”

  “That cheapskate bastard of a boss,” Ryka grumbled. “She makes the damned shareholders happy while we cannot even get a decently working android never mind parts.”

 “The word is bitch, Ryka. She’s female.”

  “Wrong. That is an insult to all decent dogs everywhere.”

   George couldn’t disagree with her there. He pulled on the tether. The bag of parts and tools floated over to him. “I don’t like this.”

  “What?”

  “My suit. I’m not sure the magnets are working correctly.”

   “Well stop being so flatulent.” She wasn’t looking at him, not really paying attention. She was trying to pull out the old, burned gyro. Finally. she managed it and handed it to George. He gave her the new one.

   “That’s too uppity. Which is your problem. Always lording your superior education over us. “

“Wrong! It is simply how I speak! You-” she broke off for she heard him cry out. She turned as quickly as could and saw his magnets had stopped working. She could see him frantically press the button on his emergency thruster pack. Nothing. He was floating away, faster than she would have thought possible.

 “Jacking hell! Help me!” Thinking, she isn’t going to. He wouldn’t have blamed her. Too much risk and they didn’t like each other. Uneasy tolerance was the best they ever got. He could see her ugly gargoyle face watching him. It wasn’t exact but a close description. One hundred years ago America had climate change immigrants. They came from Venice, fleeing the rising seas. They came from Vietnam, Israel, and especially South America fleeing famine from a warming planet. America hadn’t been altogether happy about them. Aliens. You’re aliens the native born said, so go home. Then one day the real aliens came. They had made the same mistakes man did and their planet's climate change nearly killed them. They came, hoping to be welcomed in exchange for trying to save earth. But when you look like demons from some medieval painting, George supposed, bad things happen. They couldn’t leave either. Broken ships, broken spirits. They truly had nowhere else to go. Then the fighting started, the cruelty, until no one knew who committed the worst atrocities. They only woke up when the ground and their souls were scorched. Now both human and alien were trying to save a sinking ship called earth. Or in George's and Ryka's case, redeem themselves.

I’m dead, George thought. Without even a priest to give me absolution. When was the last time he’d even been to Mass? Damned Catholic guilt. It never goes away. He had oxygen but soon that would deplete. There was panic although behind it was calm. So, this would be how it ends and maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. Better than dying senile and drooling in a nursing home thirty years from now, he guessed. Here the stars were bright and beautiful. Close to heaven as he’d ever get. The panic ebbed. In fact he almost felt stoned. It was so peaceful now. Then something clawed at his leg and slipped away. He somehow managed to twist around and reached out. Everything slowed except for the drum in his chest, his ears. His breath came harsh and fast. He heard nothing else. George saw her hand brush his but couldn’t feel anything. He stretched so much his shoulder felt as if it would separate. Yet there was no pain, just numbness. Not even that. It was a vast and lonely detachment. Then she shouted and he felt like James might when Ryka smacked him. As if some mechanical part slipped back into place and he could hear again. She shouted at him, telling him to try his pack thrusters again, help her. He mashed the button with all his might and for an instant they fired. Just enough so they could touch-then she gripped his hand. He wrapped his arm around her waist. She fired hers and they made their way back to the ship. Ryka then turned on her magnets and pulled him next to her. George found a handhold to grab, then another, blessing whoever put them there. Maybe he or she had had a vision that one day it would save someone’s life. Then, the ladder. He pulled himself up it, found the handle for the hatch, and fell into the ship. He hit the floor hard and barely felt it. He was alive.

"Byeheth culemth quelthel, Heorg!” Ryka shouted at him, coming into the ship.

“English,” he whispered.

“You picked up the broken suit!” She stood over him. Her eyes shone. With what? Was that fear he saw? Concern?

“J-James. He- must have hung it with the rest.” He couldn't yet stand so he knelt, pulling it off, throwing it from him. His breaths came in gasps. “I-will f-father jacking strangle him. Jacker.”

Ryka gently, softly touched his shoulder. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” He looked up at her from where he knelt on the floor. Trying not to cry. “Cesh! If it wasn't for-”

“Yes, whatever.” she said, not looking at him. “Go mark that stupid suit so this does not happen again, okay? Once is enough. I will make sure we are on course.” She left. Quickly, as if embarrassed. He sat for a long time, shaking as if cold and thinking.

It was near the end of their shift, at breakfast, that he asked her why.

“Why what?” She looked away. Played with her food.

“You went after me. Risked yourself. You didn't have to and no one would have blamed you.”

“Our bastard boss would have.”

“What's she going to do, fire you?” George laughed. Ryka didn't.

“I am certain you would have done the same.”

George shrugged. “Yeah. But you don't even like me. Nor do I blame you,” he mumbled. The country had not learned its lesson the first time and had attempted some equal but separate laws. The results had been predictable. “So…” he gestured weakly.

“I am soft in the head, my friend,” Ryka said, "plus who else will I pick on? James does not get it and half of the others would stab me in my sleep." She smiled. “Now you will just owe me one.”

“Okay.” George held out a hand and she shook it.

“I would like to know something, however.”

“Yes?”

“How do you strangle an android?”

“Special skills,” George said, smiling.