All Things Considered

Clark looked at his creased hands, surprised that the redness he saw on them vanished so quickly. Footsteps heading towards him brought his gaze up.

“How are you doing?”

He had answered that question more times than he could count in the last few hours. “All things considered, I’ve been better.”

That always got the polite chuckle, a firm handshake, and a perfunctory hug or slap on the shoulder. At the moment, he couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t answering that question. The person in front of him moved away, and suddenly he recalled. He hadn’t always been here. That morning, he went into his bedroom and saw the black suit laid out for him by Kaitlin, the crisp white shirt, and the cuff links that Katerina got him on his last birthday. #1 Dad.

Clark turned his wrist, to see the cuff links. A smudge of red stained them. Damn. He headed to the washroom, answering that question three more times before he reached it, and he locked the door behind him. A grisly mug peered back at him from the mirror. A poor bastard who hadn’t slept for days.

As steam from the faucet clouded the mirror, he remembered why he hadn’t slept. Too much to do. He wiped the cuff link clean in the sink, and turned off the water. He slapped some hot water on his face. It widened his eyes, and injected some life back into them. Time to rejoin the well rested.

He opened the door, and immediately voices hushed. There were nods and “I’m so sorry”s as he made his way back to his spot. They were talking about it. What had happened to her. The grisly details that the media flaunted on their channels non-stop for days. He remembered when the detectives arrived at his door, a jolt of apprehension when they introduced themselves, then relief, then nothingness. Clark didn’t remember what happened next, but he saw on the TV the image of himself standing like a mook on his doorstep, and Kaitlin’s collapse and haunting scream, clutching his leg as a drowning woman tries to pull the lifeguard under with her.

The next day the dean asked him about it, and he said that he didn’t remember it. The dean shook his head and told him to take as much time as he needed. He watched himself tell the man that he would finish out the day. Can’t shortchange the students Dean Maxwell. None of them noticed he wore the muddy shoes that he wore the night before.

Of course when he got home from class, Kaitlin took his shoes away. She always cleaned up for him, he for her. It made them a great couple. She had that look on her face that evening, stern with a weak smile that would epitomize acceptable grief, nothing like the raw emotion that more unscrupulous newspaper men would call a howl. He held her tight that night as they lay in bed. She shuddered with rage, only held in by his embrace.

“All things considered, I’ve been better.”

Brian’s bear hug snapped him out of that moment with Kaitlin. His next door neighbor was built as a bodybuilder, but had the emotional control of a child. “You need anything Clark,” barely containing a sniffle, “I’m there for you. You wanna hunt down that bastard, I’ll be there, riding shotgun. No, I’ll drive. I’ll bring the six pack of Maggie Maggees, and we can just talk and get all these feelings out. I’m here for you, Clark. It just makes me so fearful that something like that could happen here. Maybe in one of those big cities, but not here. You need a shoulder big guy, you know where I’ll be.”

“I guess. Probably best to let the cops find him. There are lots of bad things out there Brian, no sense on being fearful of just the ones you know about.” Brian looked confused, and gave him another quick hug, and excused himself. He hated Maggie Maggees, a local non-alcoholic beer. It was the last drink that he actually got sick from, something that Kaitlin laughed at as he puked up that vileness. Clark figured he would have the same reaction talking about his feelings with Brian over a few more.

Kaitlin emerged from the dining room, and walked in a straight line towards him. She caressed his cheek, her eyes the only traitor to her acceptable level of grief. “Tell me when we can kick these people out of our house.”

He drew in a slow breath. “In due time Kaitlin. Due time. I’ve been through worse. Remember that faculty event four years ago? Katerina got into the champagne, and we found her kissing boys in a broom closet. You were so horrified, and wanted to leave right there. But my keynote speech was not for another forty minutes, and we needed to hold it together. Then Nicholas threw up all those pigs in a blanket that he stuffed in his mouth.”

Kaitlin lightly chuckled. “I remember. Our children had been dancing on my last nerve that week.” She buried her face in his chest, and wrapped her arms around him. “I need a few moments.”

“Take them. Do you know where our son is right now?”

“Probably upstairs. He went to his room immediately when we got home. Go up and check on him.”

“You can count on me.”

Two more “All things considered, I’ve been better,”s stood between him and Nicholas’s door. The sign on the door read KEEP OUT. Clark knocked, and then opened the door.

“It’s Dad. How are you Nicholas?”

His eyes were bloodshot, this hands trembling. He sat on the floor with his desk to his back. He had taken off his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt showing the Metallica t-shirt underneath. “All things considered…”

Clark spoke more sternly that he intended. “Don’t say that.”

Nicholas rubbed his eyes, “I know. Isn’t that what people do, rather that break down sobbing?”

Clark sat on the bed, his hands on his knees. “It is. I didn’t mean to scold you. You think you can come downstairs? Your mother could use some help, and there are several of Katerina’s friends downstairs.”

“I’m not looking for girls right now.”

“I know, but at times like these, they can be a necessary distraction. A reinforcement of life. They are hurting too, Nick. It may help to talk about Kat together. Maybe share some stories of your sister.”

“I’ll do it Dad. I’m not putting the tie back on though.”

“That will be fine.”

They stood up in unison, and as Clark reached to the door, Nicholas spoke. “He is gonna pay for what he done, isn’t he Dad?”

Clark hesitated for a moment, “Son, he will get what’s coming to him. You can trust in that.”

*****

The next few hours blurred together. Clark couldn’t count how many people came to pay their respects, asked him how he was, and ate the catered spread that Kaitlin ordered from Chick-Fil-a. The local restaurant had donated their services, along with many of their neighbors bringing potluck dishes and sundries. Clark tried a sandwich, and a glass of strawberry champagne punch. He wasn’t hungry, but Kaitlin pushed them into his hands. “You need to keep up your strength, honey.”

Father Madran came and sat next to him as he ate. “Clark, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you Father. Means a lot coming from you.”

“Its why I am here. I don’t see you frequently in church,” he held his hands up in a premature surrender, “I’m not trying to criticize, I just want you to feel welcome. Evil can creep into a broken heart, and I want to let you know that God’s love is there for you. He will see justice done, in this life or the next. I think that bringing your family more frequently will help you heal, and if Nicholas, Kaitlin or you need to talk, my door is always open.”

Clark took a bite from his sandwich. “Thank you Father. I’m heartened by the support from everyone today. It really means a lot. And you are right, we do need to be in church more frequently. I’ll make a point to getting us there,” he took a long drink from his glass, “but as to justice, I’m pretty sure God isn’t going to like how that plays out.”

*******

The stairs creaked with each step Clark took down them. He reached the bottom, and flipped the nearest switch. The lights snapped on, harsh light buzzing out and illuminating the space. He stepped forward, and unlocked the door in front of him. Clark opened it, stepping through and closing it in a swift practiced motion. A muffled noise came from the center of the room.

“All things considered, I’ve been better. Thank you for asking.”

The figure strapped down on a dentist’s chair tried to speak through the ball gag, gibberish coming out.

“I could take that out, but I’m looking for more of a listener out of you right now, if that’s alright.”

Only his eyes were free of saran wrap. It didn’t mean that he was completely silent.

“I hope you don’t mind the pink saran wrap. I know you prefer blue, but there had been run on it at the Hy-Vee, so I had to make do. I also used leather straps. Can’t really have you breaking free, now can we?”

The eyes looked insulted.

“Now, now, that’s no way to talk to me. I’m going to be your last friend in this universe. Honest. You would think, after what you did, that I wouldn’t be?” Clark opened a small refrigerator and pulled out an honey-crisp apple, biting into it before resuming. “But as soon as you came to my city, I found out everything I could about you. Your methods, your predilections, your passions. In reality, a very stimulating theoretical exercise.” Another bite. “Until it became not theoretical.”

The eyes pleaded at him.

“Now, I had questions. Yes, I did. But I find myself not giving a fuck about them right now. But that scholarly feeling I felt when you first showed up, well that tempered my anger. People might call that the makings of a psychopath, but really, I just think that its a respect from one practitioner to another.”

The eyes widened as they understood what Clark said.

“Yes, this is my town. Our town. We operate here, keeping a low profile, hiding our work, keeping our subjects to vagrants and working women. Those who aren’t missed. There wasn’t even a file at police HQ about us. Kaitlin works as a profiler, you see. And then you show up. Grabbing people off the streets in broad daylight, dumping bodies at intersections after having your base desires met multiple times. Even then they didn’t put it together until you started wrapping them in saran wrap.”

A gurgle.

“Yes, we figured you were here after the third murder, and Kaitlin thought we should find out everything we could about you. You were living a fantasy of ours, throwing caution to the wind and daring to be caught. We have too much to lose at this point to do that, but we would read your exploits with some aplomb when they printed a story.” Another bite. “Then you crossed over to the west side of town.”

The eyes stared angrily.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We even were planning to meet with you, let you know it was time to head out of town, when you grabbed her, my Kat…” Clark’s voice cracked for a moment, “and you did what you did. Don’t deny it, this isn’t a court of law. You are already guilty.”

Clark patted him on the shoulder, and took another bite of the apple. He walked to the back of the room. He grabbed and pushed a wheeled table to the dentists chair, the top covered with a medical towel.

“Now, what is the punishment? I bet that is what you are thinking. The truth is, I don’t know. You would think that I would be your executioner, and that may be so. I probably would make it go too fast though. So, I’m going to just be here to assist.”

The eyes looked confused.

“That night, after the scream heard round the world, and the detectives left, after she saw our son to bed, wondering just how to tell him that his baby sister had been violated, murdered and wrapped to be left in front of their school by a fucking piece of shit...excuse me for that, I apologize for that outburst, she asked me to bring you here. You remember that there was a massive storm that night, and I had to drag you through the mud of your pathetic yard to my trunk. My shoes were so muddy.”

Clark put the apple down on his chest, and pulled the towel away from the table.

The eyes went wide. Clark picked up the apple again.

“It took me all night to lose any sort of tail I might have picked up, find a place to safely sedate you and then get you unseen into my basement. It was time for work once I got you secured, and I went to work with those dirty clothes. I’ve been busy since then.”

The eyes continued to look at the uncovered table.

“With what you might ask? Well, for justice. Justice can’t be rushed. I needed to get all of the necessary supplies. IV’s, liquid food, implements, punishment devices. You took my little girl from me. I’m no longer a #1 Dad. Hard to live up to that when I can’t protect my daughter. And that's why I’m not going to punish you. Pretty hard to stop myself when I get going.”

The eyes finally looked at him.

“Yes, my lovely wife will have the honors. I’ve never seen her burn so fiercely as I have in the last few days. Now, she has bleed through her emotions, she is going to be calm, cool and collected...as she flays flesh from you, removes body parts and violates you as you did to our Kat. I’ll be here, making sure you stay alive for all of it, at least until she removes the offending organ at the end. But who knows, she may start with that.”

The eyes struggled against the straps with abandon.

“Now don’t struggle too hard. If you are good, I might remove the ball gag. This room is soundproofed, so no one is going to hear you. If you keep that up, I’ll have to sedate you a little. Its not going to deaden the pain, but make you lose control over parts of your body. I’d rather not, so we get your reactions in real time to what she elects to do.”

The struggle reduced, the eyes remained fearful.

“Am I boring you? I know, I like to just get started. I come prepared. She’s got to find the right outfit, tuck in Nicholas, accessorize. Women right?”

The eyes mumbled.

Clark took another bite from the apple. Now only a core, he threw it towards a large waste bin, draining the shot. The door opened, and Kaitlin walked in. She had on a green with white polka dots house dress, a frilly apron nearly tied to her waist, complete with a set of gleaming pearls around her neck, and blood red lipstick. She pulled her brown hair back into a ponytail.

“You look amazing dear.”

Kaitlin smiled. “Thank you. Is he ready? What have you boys been doing down here while waiting for me?”

“Oh, just having a chat. Expressing mutual respects and letting him know everything I did to put tonight together.”

Kaitlin kissed Clark on the lips. “Tonight? This is going to last a lot longer than one night I hope. I’ll be okay for a bit, why don’t you get some rest. Baby, you haven’t slept in several days, and I’ll really need you tomorrow. Nicholas needs to head over to your mother’s, it’s best that he spends a few days with her and your dad. They’ll put him to work with those horses he loves so much. It will be good for him. And we will have things all finished up here when he gets back.”

“That's a great idea. You already discussed it with Mom and Nicholas?” She nodded, “Wonderful. I guess I’m off. I’ll grab a couple hours, and then drive him over to Mom’s.” He hugged Kaitlin, and patted the cheeks of the man strapped down. “I’ll see you in a few hours, we might even have more things to talk about then.”

Clark walked to the door, opening it and moving quickly through it. He slowly walked up the stairs, creaking with each step. He felt better, all things considered.