A Family Still

“So do you want it?” Ethan asked.  The bells on his knitted Christmas sweater jingled as he reclined on the couch.  A fire crackled in the hearth and snow fluttered outside a window that was illuminated by cheap Christmas lights.  The scent of baking turkey and oven-top stuffing filled the cozy room where Ethan and his sister sat on overstuffed couches. 

“What, your air fryer?” 

“Yeah, I’ll cut you a deal.  Fifty bucks, just for you, Cass.”

Cass pried open a pistachio and discarded the empty shell on a growing pile of dried-up flakes and broken husks on the cherry coffee table.  She popped the nut into her mouth and licked her salty fingers.  “Don’t you want it? Mom won’t stop singing the praises of those things.”

“I’ve already got a microwave and a toaster oven.  You’ve seen my kitchen. And, you know, it's not exactly train-friendly."

“So moving to Toronto isn’t all good, hmm?”

Ethan lifted his eggnog and took a loud, cheeky slurp before grinning.  “The debate rages on.  Counter space versus museums, concerts, and world-class dining.”

Cass rolled her eyes. “Where did you get it, anyways?”

“From Nancy.  Nancy Favors.”

“Your old boss?  From the flower shop?”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d she give you a gift?”

“Because she loves me.”

Cass flung a single pistachio shell at Ethan, who took cover with a pillow as if under fire from an assault rifle.  She lifted another, preparing for a second volley.   “She’s the only one in the world, then.  You had to spend Christmas Eve with the Favors?”

“You’re getting away from the point.  Do you want to buy it or not?  Trust me, I can ask someone else.”

“Okay then do that.”

He snorted.  “You called my bluff.  You're the fourth person I’ve asked.  Everyone has one already.”

“I thought you worked in sales.  You always have to drum up urgency!  You’ve got no leverage now.”  She inspected her fingernails, feigning disinterest. 

“An expert in sales, eh?  Maybe you should move out of your place and go into business.  So you’ll take it?”

“First you have to tell me why you spent Christmas Eve with the Favors.”

“Oh please.  She called me to say she wanted to see me while I was back home.  Said she had something for me.  So I showed up, let her pinch my cheeks a bit, grabbed my gift and got out.  I was hardly there past eight.”

“Oh?  And was her daughter there?”

“Don’t start.”

“Wouldn’t that be romantic, Ethan?  Just like every cheesy Christmas movie.  Come down for the holidays, fall in love, then realize a simple life of love and cheer is all you ever wanted.”

Ethan retched and hurled up mock vomit.  “Sorry, but I don’t think the small bookstore is hiring.”  They both laughed.

A woman wearing an apron embroidered with “Live, Laugh, Love” walked into the living room and sat by Cass.  “Oh, it’s so nice to have you all home together laughing like this.”

“Ethan was just saying how he’s taken a liking to Nancy Favor’s daughter.”

“Oh Ethan!  Her name is Julie, right?  Sweet girl. That would be just like that movie your father and I watched the other night.  It was on ABC. Oh, what was the name… A Holiday in Heaven, I believe.  You should look for that one; it was so nice.  The boy comes from the city, just like you, then meets a girl working in a cafe.  But the cafe is going under in the new year because a Dunkin’ Donuts just moved in… Oh look at me, spoiling it.  You’ll have to watch it to get the ending.”

“I’ll be sure to do that, Mom,” said Ethan, without breaking eye contact with Cass.  “Sounds simply enchanting.”

His mother blushed.  “Well, I better get back to mashing the potatoes, but I just had to come in here when I heard you laughing. It brings joy to my heart.  You two just sit here and catch up, okay?  But how about we exchange gifts before we eat?  I’ve picked out just the thing for both of you.”

“That sounds good to me. Thanks Mom.”

She swept off, and as she passed by, a mustached man entered. She stopped short and put her hand on his shoulder.  “Richard, don’t you just know they’ll love their gifts?”

The man rubbed sleepiness out of his eyes.  “Uh huh. They are perfect, Mary.”

Ethan’s mother hurried off to the kitchen, where the aroma of roasting garlic and bubbling gravy hung aloft like a fog.  Her seat by Cass was soon filled by Richard, who dropped down with a grunt.  

“Can you give us a hint?” said Cass.

Richard began his ritual of thunderously clearing his throat and sniffing powerfully before speaking.  “That’s my favorite thing about Christmas.  I get to be just as surprised as you are.”

“Mom says you’ve been taking in some fine cinema of late,” began Ethan.  “Care to give your review of A Holiday in Heaven?”

“Of what?  Oh yes, I remember now.  That was a nice movie.  This boy is coming to a small town… well, I think I fell asleep after that part.  I woke up during the credits and your mom was leaning on me and wiping up tears.  I think you’re better off asking her about it.”

“No, no.  You’ve given me everything I needed to hear.  Alright Cass, back to brass tacks.  I’ve got something you’d like, and you want to buy it.  We have a deal, yes?”

“Forty,” came her reply.  

“Forty, plus a five-dollar processing fee.  Deal?”

“Back in my day,” interrupted Richard, “we didn’t have all these extra fees.  If it said five dollars on the sign, well, you took a five-dollar bill and you were done with it.  Now it’s all delivery fees, provincial taxes, federal taxes, tips… Tips!  The other day I ordered a coffee, and the girl turns the credit card screen to me and it asks for a tip.  For what?  You’ve just poured me a cup of coffee.  Isn’t that her job? What’s her hourly wage for then, huh?  So I said to her, ‘Look, I’m not using a credit card for a coffee.  I’ve got cash.’  And she says they don’t do cash there, only credit. Less germs that way.  It’s all this virus business.  But why so much attention to this new virus?  We have a new virus every year, and another shot.  Shot, shot, shot, every year.  I bet they are pushing the shot big-time in the city, huh Ethan? Those big city folk love to push their shots.  And you know why, right?  It’s because these companies who make the shots get paid billions of dollars if everyone takes it.  And the doctors too.  So of course they’re going to try to get everyone to get the shot.”

“I can tell you’re full of endless insights, Dad.  But Cass and I were trying to conduct business here.  Cass, we’ve got a deal?  I imagine Dan won’t have one.  You’re still moving in with him, right?”

Cass had been shaking her head at her father, but shrank at Ethan’s question.  “I’m not sure.”

“Oh? What’s wrong? Trouble in paradise?  Why isn’t he here, anyways?  You didn’t invite him?”

“I don’t know.  Things have been weird.” 

“Weird?”  Ethan took another sip of his eggnog.  “Go on, tell Uncle Ethan.”

“Ew, don’t say that.  I don’t know.  It’s not, like, fights.  Just… I don’t know.”

“I’m getting lost in all the details, Cass.  You’ll have to try and be a little more vague.” 

Cass sighed.  “So, we’d been talking about moving in together.  And then later, that same day, we go to the drive-thru at Wendy’s and he’s like, ‘Cass, we can’t eat fries forever.  You’re going to need to learn how to cook.’  That’s weird, right?”

Ethan rubbed his chin.  “That’s pretty weird.  Was he joking?”

“I don’t know.  It’s hard to tell with him sometimes.”

“I don’t like that.  That’s pretty weird.”

“Right?”

Ethan paused, then a hideous smile crawled across his face.  “Well, Cass, if you just invested in an air-fryer…”

“Oh shut up!” she said, and launched another pistachio shell at him.  

“When I was your age,” began Richard, “well, mind you, at your age I’d already been married for two years.  But when I was a youth, young men had respect.  Not only for girls, see, but for their parents too.  Each time I went to pick your mother up for a date, I had to speak to your grandfather first.  He’d ask where we were going, when we’d be back, and what my intentions were.  It kept us honest.  Now, I’m not sure about this young man, Cassandra. Not once has he come up to me and spoken to me, man to man.  He never asked my permission to begin going out with you. If he can’t respect a woman’s father, how is he going to respect the woman?”

“Are you telling me, Dad,” said Ethan, “that he hasn’t even offered you a dowry?  What has society come to?”

“A what?”

Ethan didn’t answer, but instead looked at his sister and they smiled like children.  There was a long pause in the conversation as Richard seemed to doze off on the couch. 

“Okay,” Cass finally said.  “I’ll take it. Forty-five. I’ve been hearing all about them.”

“Right, forty-five.  Ah hell, you can just have it, Cass, I won’t nickel and dime you.  It’s better to be kind to the poor and destitute.”

Cass sniggered.  

“Oh, look at all of you,” came Mary’s voice emerging from the kitchen.  She was holding two large boxes, both equal in size, one wrapped in green, the other in red.  She put one on either child’s lap.  “Oh wake up, Dick.  They’re going to open the presents!  Go on, open them.  Both at the same time.”  She held her clasped hands to her bosom, watching wide-eyed.

Ethan tore his wrapping off carefully, having learned long ago from his frugal mother that if treated carefully, the wrapping paper could be reused.  

“Oh wow,” he said, looking at a brand new air fryer in a large, glossy box.  He looked at Cass, who had the same present and was nodding with pursed lips.  Ethan looked to his mother, and she appeared to have tears forming in her eyes as she glimmered with pride.  “Thank you.  It’s just what I wanted.”