SHINE DAUGHTER OF MINE

Every morning, we would wake up to some kind of commotion. But what would you expect form a compound with six wives and twenty children? That particular morning, I was already awake in my makeshift bed staring at the roof where the early morning sun rays pierced through mercilessly. It was somehow calming though. It looked like the constellations on the night sky that blanketed the village and everyone in it. My mind drifted to Atemi. The mean girl who bore breast earlier than all of us and made her feel invisible in the face of the rest. It automatically gave her the right to lay claim over the most handsome boys in the village including the tall and handsome Koinet. My mind drifted again to the meeting we had once at the stream. His shirtless body sweating in the sweltering heat as he fetched water for his cattle. “It’s rude to stare” he said with a sly smile. He knew what he was doing. Tempting me to stare. “It’s rude to walk around naked” I reiterated. I picked my drum, swung it on my head and embarrassingly walked off spilling its contents all over myself. “Wake up, father is waiting” mother walked into the tiny room and yanked the shuka off of me. Damn this wretched place. I yearned to leave, run way and never look back

I walked out into the morning light to see the family gathered around the old man. Our brother placed the tiny stool behind him and he slumped on it almost toppling over much to the amusement of my younger siblings. My mother, the eldest wife, walked out of her hut, gourd in hand and gently place it on the old man’s hand. He lay his staff beside him and sipped from it. He swished the contents his mouth and spilled them onto the sky.

He cleared his throat and began his chant to mother earth. “Thank you for the blessings in our household. Our fertile cattle have done us proud this season and with more to come we thank you” spilling a few drops to the ground. “May you shut the eyes of my enemies and blind the pilferers that they may never find their way into my home. May you hasten the steps of worthy suitors that may find brides in my beautiful daughters. May you open the eyes of my future wives, as you have blessed me wealth and vitality to go forth and fill the earth. Tomorrow is a good day for us. Lanke will bring us joy as we wait for our guests…”

I zoned out at the mention of my name. I was named Lankenua meaning luck. I never understood what that meant for me. Why such a name to such an unlucky child? All eyes were affixed on me, some of pity, some of pride. My young sister stood next to me and held my hand. Maybe she sensed my anxiety. It felt good at that moment. As the old man chanted away, I did what I always did, drifted. I went back to that day I took a spot on top of my favorite tree to watch the vastness of the land, day dream, or rather run away from my chores. I could see Malewa, the old man’s third wife angrily coming towards me swearing on top of her voice of how I lazy and of no use to anyone. Why would she bother me while she already had six children of her own, five of which were girls? She was highly determined to ruin me, just as she was determined to bare the old man a son. I guess Sixth time is a charm. “Young man have you seen Lanke?” she asked irritably. “I guess I saw her heading for the stream with her goats” koinet replied pointing ahead. Malewa gathered her steps and hasted towards the direction of stream. Koinet then smiled and looked up at the tree where I was seated smiling sheepishly. “Consider it the last time I lied for you. Can you get down or do you need my help with that too.” He held out his hand as if persuading me to jump. Deep inside i knew how to get down from the tree but where is the fun in that.

The chant ended with a firm request for Nunke’s womb to open wide and bear children instead of eating them up and spewing them. All eyes now shifted from me to the old man’s sixth wife. Her eyes lowered to the ground perhaps to escape the judgment in our eyes. I personally loved Nunke. She was probably my age and beautiful like the night sky. As my brothers headed towards the cattle pen and my sisters followed their mothers to the huts, I slowly followed Nunke to her small hut. She had tears in her eyes. I held her hand but she quickly snatched it away. Normally we would sit and chat all day as we crafted our shangas. But today it was different. She was angry perhaps from the jeers she got from the other wives. The old man’s fifth wife Sabe was tasked to cook proper food for her that would strengthen her weak womb. At the time I did not understand why this got her so irate. Sabe was great cook even better than my mother sorry to say. “Do not let this place imprison you.” She said to me, her palms against my cheek and her eyes deeply set into mine. She pushed me out of her hut and sent me sprawling onto the ground outside which sent everyone laughing their minds off.

“Will you stop playing around we have a lot to do ahead of tomorrow.” Hannah the second wife grabbed me by my arm and yanked me upright. She led me to her hut where sisal trays were filled with beads and beautiful shukas hang on rope tied from one corner of the hut to the other. Normally my mother would be the one helping me with this but she was busy tending to the old man. She was a revered herbalist from far and wide. Her herbs were known to cure a variety of illnesses including those brought by foreigners. It was rumored that she was the daughter f the gods. Otherwise, who would bare such a gift? The old man had been complaining of stomach aches. He accused Malewa of trying to poison him with her bad food.

Hannah took a spot at the corner of the small hut and started weaving. Her eldest daughter was at least two years younger than me. She gently unwound my hair and slowly massaged some aloe that she had prepared earlier. “To me marriage is the highest calling bestowed upon a woman. To bear children is an honor not only to the husband but to the community. We are the lifeline that keeps the tribe alive. I am proud of you my daughter” Hannah went on and on and I yet again drifted to the time when some of the village girls found me by the stream tending to my goats. They approached like a park of wild dogs on a prowl. Atemi led the pack, her mouth frothing with anger and her eyes scanning me from head to toe. “This stupid girl does not know her place. I think she needs to be reminded not to venture into my territory.” She angrily said as she pushed me into the muddy section of the river. They all laughed as they pointed at me. I fought back my tears and remembered mother’s words when the old man beat me up for not acting like a girl. “Never let them see your tears.” I stood up, took my drum and called unto my young goats. On my way home could see Koinet and his friends grazing from a far. I could not let him see me like this. I rushed through the prickly bush that led to back of our hut. But I guess he saw me because immediately I emerged, there he was standing before me. “What happened to you? Was it Atemi?” he asked with concern on his face. Do not let him see your tears.

I was jolted back to reality when Hannah asked to measure my neck and wrist all this while Nunke’s words rung in my head again. “I need you try on the shukas” Hannah guided me to where she hung them. I picked one reluctantly. “Don’t be afraid. Go ahead, we are all women here. Nothing we haven’t seen” she said with smile on her face. As I slowly tied the shuka around me, I drifted to the day before yesterday.

I procession of old men headed into our compound. They were met by the old man and his sons. Up until then I had never seen the old man’s teeth. Even as misaligned as they were he could not help but smile ear to ear. Greetings were exchanged together with gourds of the local brew. They were ushered to the where small stools were placed under a huge oak tree. I thought nothing of it then but as I passed by with my small siblings at hand, I could see the men stare at m suggestively, like a lioness picking its prey. The wives were gathered around my mother. She had tears in her eyes. They rolled down her cheeks unencumbered. Mucus joined the stream and Hannah used her shuka to wipe it off. I sent the children away and joined my mother by her side. I held her limp hands and for the first time I saw a different side of her that I had never seen. She was always head strong and firm even the old man could not raise his voice at her. The other wives respected her and so did the community. She held my cheeks and I could feel the callouses scratch through my skin. “You shall make a good wife our daughter” Hannah said as she headed to her kitchen and emerged with food for the guests. “Nunke, on your feet and help me with the rest of the pots” Hannah said as she swayed her behind heading towards the tree where the men were gathered. There was sadness in Nunke’s face. “Wife indeed. Once she sheds that laziness of hers then maybe she will be accepted as wife. Until then….?” Malewa jeered on her way to Hannah’s kitchen to pick the rest of the pots. Sabe had no words for me. She kissed my forehead and joined them. “Mother what is going on. What does mama Hannah mean?” she could not answer my question. Instead, she slowly stood up and headed towards the gate and out into the evening sun.

“You look beautiful Lanke. I can’t wait for my own day. When I will adorn myself in the most colorful of beads to receive my …” “will you stop day dreaming and finish braiding her hair” Hannah cut off my step sister’s dream.

Later that day I headed to stream to take my bath. Around that time the herders had already left and women had already filled their drums. I sat there for while listening to the water flow over the rocks. “I got your message” it was Koinet. His voice just like the flowing river, music to my ears. “The news is all over the village.” I saw sadness in his eyes. It was registered all over his face. “Lanke, you need to fight this. Remember that day you fought off those boys for mocking me? A fatherless son like me suddenly found a place in this village. They never messed with me ever again. That ear you bit off is a firm reminder to date” we both laughed so hard it echoed far and wide. He took my hand and held it against his chest and right there and then, I knew what I had to do.

That night my sleep was light. I kept shifting from side to side much to the irritation my sister. I had to leave this place. I would run way and never look back. Mother always said I was fearless just like the warriors who went to fight the lions. I kicked so hard in her belly she swore I was boy much to her amazement when she saw me for the first time.

Those familiar callouses against my cheek disrupted my plans. “Come with me.” My mother ushered me outside. As we crept to the back of our hut, I on one hand and a bag on her other hand, she said nothing. She stopped suddenly, placed the bag on my shoulder removed some beautiful sandals from it and placed them before me. She helped me fit into them, took her favorite shuka placed it around me. All the while our eyes never met. She grabbed and hugged me close to her bosom. The smell of bitter herbs and smoke choked my olfactory but I didn’t mind. “Go out and shine and don’t loas ok back” her eyes were still beautiful as ever. Sincere and strong. They uttered a million words it took a keen mind to listen. Cold hands startled me from behind. It was Koinet. “We need to leave now” he said ushering me towards the bushes. Mother turned her back on me, as we left. I could see her shoulders shake as she sobbed.

We ran into the night for what seemed like hours. We stopped only to catch our breathe and off we went again. My feet hurt from all the rocks that stabbed my toes. My chest felt like a million thorns trying to pierce through. We stopped for while hands on our knees panting like dogs. “Where are you taking me?” I asked in between pants. “Far away” Koinet replied as he grabbed my hand and off we ran again. We arrived in front of a huge house. I had seen this place before. Mother brought me here once when I was young. It was filled with ladies adorned in white dresses so immaculate it was like they never saw dirt in their lives. The front door opened and out came one them. “I have to go. You will be safe here.” Hands entwined by our side, he placed his forehead against mine and at that moment everything was serene. “I will find you, no matter how long it takes” he darted into the darkness leaving me in tears. The lady in white took my sack from my shoulder and led me inside.

Life was slow since then. I traded my shuka for foreign clothes. Slowly it felt like I was shedding a part of my identity. I missed the everyday scents in the old man’s compound. Mother’s bitter herbs brewing in her kitchen, the smell of fresh cow dung from the cattle pen, Bape’s sweet smelling food. I missed mother’s rough callouses, her tender touch when my body failed me, but I had to heed to her words. I would never look back. I had to stand up for myself just like that time I fought off Malewa for insulting my mother. I learnt languages from far and wide and traded our morning chant with prayer recitals. Food was different too and so was the definition of a woman and her place in society.

One particular morning, the lady in white came into the kitchen where I was helping out and called me into her office. I was nervous as most times it never meant well for those summoned into that office. Waiting there were two men adorned in black cloaks and white collars. “Well gentlemen this is the young lady I mentioned to you on the phone. She is the brightest we have had in a long time. I am pretty sure she would do us proud.” Said the lady in white proudly with her shoulders held high.

Seven stars later, I settled into a hostel filled with ladies from different backgrounds. Those who spoke a different tongue from mine. Some were rich and some not so rich. We had our own ambitions and dreams and we were all here to set our course. I went to class every morning and chose to chart my path towards my shining moment.

The announcer jolted me back to reality. “Let’s welcome on stage a teacher, a philanthropist, gender rights activist and best-selling author Lankenua ….” his voice disappeared into the audience. I walked on to the stage and the lights blinded me for a minute. I recollected myself and acknowledged the people that stood on their feet in my honor. The cover of my book was on the screens before me and every hand held a copy of it. As I rested my hand on the podium, I stared at the copy set before me. The crowd settled in silence and my eyes drew to the front row. There sat my idol. Though wrinkled and beat, her eyes still shone like the last time I saw them. It’s amazing how my whole entire life with its up and down had been reduced to a thirty-minute narrative. It drew me to page twenty-three of my book. I read those exact words she told me that night “Go out and shine and don’t look back. This book is dedicated to her and the brave women that defiled all odds to better themselves and others.

As I left the stage I headed to where she sat, went down on my knees and kissed her wrinkled cheeks. My younger sister sat by her side beautiful as ever. I went walked amidst the cheers from the crowd to the back stage. There he was standing Infront of me with that enchanting smile, tall and handsome as the last time I saw him. “I told you I would find you”.