Nifty Fifty

Trigger warning: Death mentioned in story.

I was sitting alone in a booth at Denny’s pushing spaghetti around when a lovely woman with tousled lavender hair slid back into the seat across from me. Her hair was wild, like an albino lion’s mane, and I always yearned to reach out and tame it.

“I’m back,” Lisette said. There was a satisfied smile on her face like a child who’d just won an argument with an adult. She looked at me in a way I always thought impossible. As soon as her eyes fell on me, they knew everything, yet as soon as she smiled, that became okay. We had been dating for eight months, two days, and ten hours. For most of that time all I wanted to do was say those three words. It always ended up coming out as something like ‘I like your face’.

I inhaled, feeling like it was the first time I had ever taken a breath. The problem was I also felt like I had just been hit with a stun dart and left with little more than the ability to stare. I reached out and felt the life of her pale hand. By now it was a reflex and I feared she would turn into a balloon if I let go.

“Welcome back.” Despite having painted her profile half a dozen times, my eyes still scanned over her lunar skin and blue agate eyes. They stopped just before they were cut by her cheekbones, saved only by her voice.

“We were celebrating, weren’t we? Why here when I could have treated you to something fancier? I mean, it’s your 50th birthday, Xander. Let’s get you an ice cream cake, a couple of those five-oh candles, put them on backwards, and laugh when you make a wish.”

“Lisette, would you honestly prefer something fancy over diner food?” I asked and she paused for a moment as if she was just now remembering our shared love of diners and her natural distaste for overpriced finger food. This place had been chosen with her in mind.

Oh, and there it was. That bashful smile that made her crow’s feet dance one step at a time. I tucked my feelings into my next exhalation, but it came out sounding like a hopeless sigh. The words pulled at my tongue but only air escaped.

“I was only thinking about having a little two-person toast in your honor. Maybe tug you out to the dance floor and show you how badly I slow dance.” She said with an idle smile that always pulled to the right first when it was genuine. Her eyes trailed out the window to some distant space and, once she spotted something, they got a focused look about them. Her fragile hand slid from mine. My eyes curiously followed hers and spotted a cluster of children sitting on a porch, blowing bubbles and giggling like they had just gotten away with arson. The sky was heavily dusted with overcast, making it impossible to enjoy the newly setting sun.

Her zoned-out face was decoration only; a mercy. Only she knew what she would say or ask next and I had known her for years. Years that seemed to amount to nothing when she made that face.

“I think I’d like to live like a bubble. They’ve got the shortest lifespan in the world but they just keep floating on and on so leisurely.” Lisette’s voice was a gentle alto that always sounded like it wanted to be more. When she got like this, every word that escaped her mouth held the promise of a mystery.

She was wrong, though. Who would want to be a bubble? As soon as a bubble touched anything, it fell from existence and was forgotten even sooner. How could she think so highly of such an unpredictable end?

All the same, it was a very Lisette question, and I knew she had romanticized the idea. Her head rested along on one thin outstretched arm as she watched the kids hop around and slaughter all the bubbles they had just created. A few misfit lavender tendrils threatened self-harm just inches away from the remnants of ketchup on her abandoned plate, so I saved them by discreetly pulling the dish away. There was no way she was done with her thought.

“It wouldn’t be your thing at all. No, you’d be an anxious bubble, Xander. No, the only thing on your mind would be ‘I am going to die,’ or ‘That child is going to touch and kill me because children are heathens.’” I hid my smile in my palm as I took in her vividly changing expressions. She scrunched up her face and forcibly deepened her voice whenever she tried to mimic my thoughts out loud. It was adorable.

“‘Who would want to be a bubble?’” She was finally looking at me again. Pointing at me as she voiced my thoughts.

“You’re all too focused on the negative aspects of it. You’re stuck on how much more vulnerable it would make you. Where I see it as enjoying the now, you’ve got your head so far up the future’s ass you can’t enjoy anything.” She said, meaning to sound harsh and scolding, but the smile on her face melted the sting in her words before they could touch me.

There was no point in hiding my grin now. Not after that last line. My shoulders shook in silent laughter that escaped through my nose. My hand closed over hers once it saw an opening, and I coerced it a little closer to my side as I lent her some of my warmth.

“I am enjoying the now, Lisette. I am sitting in Denny’s with the most magical woman I have ever known and celebrating a milestone that would normally mean nothing to me.” I said. The volume of my voice so low, it was like I was telling her a secret.

“That’s right, isn’t it?” Her spider smile was back as she rose up and wiggled her shoulders back and forth.

“In that case, you should be treating me to a fancy meal and we should be toasting to one another. We should still get an ice cream cake,” She said and I waited a beat, expectantly.

“And you’re welcome.” Her hand squeezed mine as the corners of her lips pulled to the right and forced the left side to mimic it. The affection in her eyes held my breath hostage.

I leaned towards her, still grinning.

“Does this mean we can split the bill?”

“Nope,” She said. So quickly I almost hadn’t caught it. It was something she did whenever she had decided her word was final. She was looking in the direction of the Denny’s kitchen now, but this time I didn’t follow her gaze. From the yelling, I assumed it was just your average squabble between coworkers and left it at that.

“We agreed dinner was on me before we came in. I’m not changing that.” This time she shook her head fully, her hair dancing with the motion. Of course, telling her how adorable she looked while being so serious would only agitate her.

“Alright. You win. Shall we go?” I asked, scooting from my side of the booth almost too quickly. I just wanted to hold her hand again.

“I think that would be a marvelous idea.” She nodded, her eyes in the opposite direction of the window again, a worried frown warping her features.

Lisette stood from her seat and silently moved to the counter. Whether she knew it or not, at times like this she moved like she was on a mission. Her strides long and quick while she kept her eye on her destination, strutting more than walking. The long white dress she wore only accentuated her movements. Lisette always looked like a forest witch, and it was one of my favorite things about her. Her wardrobe was all long knits, chiffon, and tunics. Now was no different and paired with one of her various pairs of ballet flats.

“Xander.” She bounced over to me and grabbed my hand almost urgently, leading me out of the Denny’s. The late afternoon air even as we matched strides. Lisette seemed like she was in a hurry to go somewhere, but I tried again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Xander.” There was no doubt or hesitation in her words, just unconditional positive regard and absolute belief. It wasn’t until later that night while I was sitting next to her in our cozy apartment watching the news that I found she had led me out ten minutes before a fire erupted from the kitchen. The flames overtook most of the kitchen staff as well as a few of the customers.