The Morning Show Circus

“Welcome back to the Kelsy and Marco Show,” Marco said, “weren’t those dancing penguins great.”

“You can see them right here in New York at the Bronx Zoo. Amazing.” Kelsy said.

“I am taking the kids tomorrow.” Marco said. “Did you know some cultures eat penguins?”

Kelsy replied, “I think I will stick with KFC.”

The audience laughed.

Marco said,“Now for our very special guest to the Kelsy and Marco Show. A man who has been taking New York by storm and helping out those less fortunate. A doctor of psychology and psychiatry, who had radically transformed and addressed the mental health crisis in NYC. He is on the New York Times Bestseller list for ten weeks straight for his self published self-book: ‘I am not OK and That’s OKAY’.

Kelsy continued, “You have seen the billboards and watched the commercials, now, meet the man, Dr. David McMasters. Come on out, doctor.”

McMasters meekly waved from backstage to the crowd and strutted over to the friendly hosts. He kissed Kelsy on the cheek and hugged her and then firmly shook Marco’s hand. He sat in the high back stool and bowed to the studio audience.

“Welcome, Dr. McMasters.” Marco said.

“Please call me, David. Only my mother proudly calls me doctor. Thank you for having me.”

“Funny and good looking.” Kelsy commented. “I should know I was on a sit-com.”

The crowd laughed.

She continued, “David, we are so glad to have you here. We have heard so much about the work you are doing in the city. Could you elaborate?” She crossed her legs and leaned in close.

“Kelsy, I am only doing what anyone would do to help his fellow man. If anyone here in the audience saw a man, woman, or child drowning, he or she would do all they could to save those in danger. I am simply doing the same thing to help people during this mental health crisis.”

The audience applauded.

Marco said, “Dr. McMasters is being humble. He sold his practices, all his properties, secured corporate sponsors, government partnerships, and has created free New Life Clinics throughout the entire city to curb the swelling tide of mental health concerns throughout the city. This man is a hero.”

The people gave him a standing ovation.

“Thank you. You are too kind.” McMasters replied.

Marco asked, “David, can we discuss your book, ‘I’m not OK and That’s OKAY’? I read it cover to cover and was blown away.”

Kelsy joked, “The hair dryer blows him away.”

The audience chuckled.

McMasters said, “My pleasure. It was a labor of love to document my mental health journey and pass on some wisdom. I never really expected anyone to read it. It has resonated with the masses, but I wrote it for me. It's my manifesto.”

Marco explained, "It hypnotized me from chapter one. Your tragic and abusive home life broke my heart."

“Could you share a bit of wisdom, Doc? “Kelsy asked.

David said, “Well, the letters of OKAY are an acronym for my way of dealing with life. May I share them?”

Kelsy commented, “Your publisher may not want you to, but go ahead.”

McMasters explained, “O stands for observe. Observe your life, your past, your family, your education; take inventory of your life. K stands for kinetics. It’s energy in motion. Once you observe your life, don’t sit still, get moving in the right direction. A stands for affirm. Daily affirm your worth as a person, proclaim it to the world, and surround yourself with an army of like-minded friends and family. Y stands for yakuza. It’s a Japanese word meaning gangster or criminal. You must be willing to do anything to keep yourself well and whole. Whatever it takes.”

Marco announced, “Alright people, repeat the meaning after the letter. O!”

“Observe!” The studio audience yelled.

“K!”

“Kinetics!”

“A!”

“Affirm!”

“Y!”

“Yakuza!”

“O.K.A.Y, that is so clever.” Kelsy winked at the guest. “So, is there a special lady in your life?” Kelsy asked.

“Yes, my beautiful fiance, Sandy Lee. She is backstage and a big fan of your show.”

“Jelman, let’s bring her out here.” Marco announced.

The crowd cheered. Jelman, the stage manager, went to the back.

With shimmering emerald hair, Sandy shyly appeared on stage. Then she model-walked, in her white Versace dress, to the doctor. She gave him a peck on the cheek. She politely shook Kelsy and Marco’s hand.

“She is gorgeous.” Kelsy announced.

“Welcome to the show, Sandy. So you’re a big fan.” Marco said.

“Yes, you are absolute favorite.” She said in a perfect British accent. “Since coming from London, I have watched the show every morning and you in the afternoon, Marco.”

“Really?” Marco blushed, “A soap opera fan?”

“I’ve had a crush on you forever.” Sandy replied.

Kelsy responded, “Do you want to kiss him? You can, on one condition.”

The crowd cheered and Sandy grinned, “Anything.”

“I get to snog with your fine doctor, fiance.”

Sandy looked at McMasters. He smiled and nodded.

“Brilliant.”

Jelman looked surprised, but then played along with the act. Sultry burlesque music sounded throughout the studio. The audience loved it.

Kelsy flirted her way over to the towering McMasters, and Sandy slithered next to Marco. Kelsy jumped into the doctor’s arms, while Marco passionately embraced Sandy.

The audience loved it and screamed for more of the over the top sensual melodrama.

Marco announced, “After the break and this amazing make out session, we will be taking audience questions for the good doctor. Hasta la vista.”

Marco dipped Sandy and began kissing her neck and earlobe. McMasters lifted Kelsy up and passionately kissed her. The crowd hooted and hollered for the kissing couples. The mixed up couples kept going stronger. McMasters carried Kelsy off backstage in his arms. Sandy and Marco found a couch off stage and kept kissing and groping each other.

Jelman said, “And,… cut. We are off the air. Great job. Wow, that was a strange bit, but funny.” He yelled to the famous couple. “Kelsy. Marco. Cut. The act is over. Marco! Kelsy! Cut! CUT!”

*****

Jelman somberly pointed to Kelsy.

Kelsy said, “Welcome back to the show. We want to apologize. Right before the break we had a little hot fun with our guests. We got a little carried away. We got some emails and some backlash for what happened in the studio.”

“It was staged folks, sorry. The doctor and his fiance had done some professional acting and we thought it would be funny to act a little silly. Nothing happened off stage or backstage. I promise.” Marco said.

“We want to apologize to the studio audience and all our viewers at home for our graphic display in your homes. We also apologize to our guests for getting carried away. We should have known better. We will do better.” Kelsy commented.

The audience clapped their acceptance and forgiveness.

Marco said, “Kelsy and I are as strong as ever. We have never been unfaithful.”

“Well,” Kelsy teased, “there was that time in Vegas. Just kidding.”

The audience laughed.

“Let’s bring back our guest, Dr. McMasters.” Marco announced.

McMasters walked back on stage and sat on his stool.

“David, I would like to apologize from the bottom of my heart.” Kelsy said. “I just lost control during the bit.”

“No worries. Just a bit of fun. No harm done.” McMasters replied.

“You are so kind. Is this the way you treat all your patients?”

“You know, Kelsy, kindness is one of the hallmarks of the New Life Clinics. Each patient is given the kindness, respect, and love they deserve.”

Marco asked, “Tell us about the process at the clinics. How will you help those most in need?”

McMasters replied, “I can’t give away all my trade secrets, but each new patient will be first given a complete medical exam. Secondly, the patient will be assessed by a trained counselor. Within two days, my team of psychologists and psychiatrists will interview the patient and begin AI treatments, highly supervised by the team. Finally, the patient will be prescribed any necessary medications and assigned a specific counselor and doctor for continued help and evaluation.”

“Two days?” How is that possible? It took me six months to book my next counseling appointment.” Kelsy asked.

Marco added, “I had to wait a year to see my current therapist.”

McMasters explained, “That is the problem isn’t it. We can see a medical doctor the next day, but six months to a year for a trained mental health professional. It is ridiculous. Our mental health is just as important as our physical health, but it has not always been given necessary vitality. My program is not for everyone, but it can help those in desperate need of assistance.”

The audience clapped for McMasters’s comments.

“David, you mentioned AI, artificial intelligence, how does this help the patient?”

“Through our corporate sponsors with Apple, Google, and Microsoft, we have been able to develop an AI, which can accurately evaluate and help 95% of our patients. What ChatGPT has done for writing, our system has done for mental health care. We call it G.E.M.S.: Genetically Engineered Mnemonic Solution. We don’t rest fully on this wonderful technology, but it has been invaluable in our successful diagnosis and treatment for hundreds of patients.”

Kelsy, Marco, and the entire audience were giving him a standing ovation. He waved to the crowd and bowed his head in thanks.

“When we return, the studio audience and you at home will get a chance to ask Dr. McMasters questions about this astonishing program. Be right back.” Kelsy said.

*****

A deep voiced announcer proclaimed: “The Kelsy and Marco Show!”

Marco said, “Welcome back for our last segment. I’m in the audience with a microphone so Dr. McMasters can answer some of your questions. This is Joann from Tallahassee. Go ahead Joann.”

“Dr. McMasters…”

“Call me David.”

“David, thanks. Is it normal to talk to yourself all the time, like even in public?”

“Great question. Let me tell you a story. At Harvard, I had to ride a bus to get from my apartment to the campus. One night, I sat next to a man, who I thought was talking to himself. He ranted and raved and then got quiet and cheered and then swore at the top of his lungs. The bus was packed and everyone looked at me. I tapped the man on the shoulder. He turned and looked at me. Then I noticed he had an ear bud connected to a radio. He had been listening to my beloved New England Patriots during the playoffs. Everyone on the bus thought he was insane, but he and I knew he was being a loyal fan. At least he wasn’t listening to the Miami Dolphins. Joann, we all have coping mechanisms to help us process the world and our view of it. Talking to oneself is normal and healthy, even in public. You are not alone. If I took a survey of this fine crowd, probably ninety-five percent would admit to it.”

Kelsy and Marco raised their hands along with most of the crowd.

Marco walked over to another person. “This is Martha from New Jersey.”

“Hi Martha. What’s your question?”

“Do you think this AI, GEMS, could put some mental health care professionals out of work?”

“On the contrary, the New Life Clinics have hired a whole army of therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors, some out of retirement, many volunteers, to help properly monitor and use GEMS as a tool to enhance and speed up the treatment and recovery of patients. GEMS is a tool and in the proper hands it can do so much good. Martha, let me ask you a question.”

“Ok.”

“What would you say are the tools of a carpenter?”

“A hammer and a saw. Oh, and one of those tape things.”

“Measuring tape. Correct. But if you went to a modern home construction, you would find multiple nail guns, battery-powered saws, laser levels, and laser tape measures. These modern technologies enhanced and quickened the way carpenters build homes to create modern wonders in your neighborhood. The GEMS technology, along with a trained professional, and my book will help diagnose patients quickly and accurately. Our goal is to rebuild the minds of so many needy people. The Big Psych machine wants to keep patients in the old pattern to keep the money flowing, but not provide lasting help. Six months to a year to see a mental health professional, ludicrous. No. We can do better. We have done better: The New Life Clinics and GEMS.”

The crowd cheered once again.

Kelsy said, “We love your passion. David, we have a caller on hold for our final question. Before we get to that, Jelman told me your daughter recently passed away. We are so sorry for your loss.”

David looked down, “Thank you. The memorial service is this Saturday, April 1st. It was a complete shock. Esmeralda was a wonderful girl, but she had some mental health issues. Mario, her good for nothing boyfriend, pushed her over the edge. That cretin and Jets fan has yet to be found by police for questioning. I loved her and wished…. I wished I could have helped her more. She will be sorely missed.” He sobbed.

The crowd awed.

Kelsy touched his shoulder. “David, are you ready for the last question? We don’t have….”

“No, I’m fine. I can do it for Esmeralda.”

Kelsy said, “David, this caller is from Watertown, NY. Jenny, go ahead with your questions.”

“Thanks. What an honor to be on your show. Dr. McMasters, is it true you did illegal electrical experiments on mental health patients while working at the Palatial Acres Mental Hospital? Isn’t GEMS simply electroshock therapy?”

“No, that is a complete lie fabricated by my detractors to stop the GEMS….”

Jenny continued, “Isn’t it true, you conducted these horrible treatments on your own daughter, Emmy, for six months?”

“Completely false.” McMasters laughed, “Where are you getting this info, YouTube?”

“Care to explain why you had your own sane daughter committed to Palatial Acres after you brainwashed her?”

“I am not explaining the hardest thing I ever had to do….”

“Tell us doctor, why were all your rights and privileges revoked by the entire medical board of the Palatial Acres facility, just six months ago?”

“How long is this show? No comment.”

Jenny asked, “Isn’t your book a plagiarized hack of a 1980’s manuscript with the same title? And the OKAY plan is your strategy for taking over the world?”

McMasters fumed, “Terminate this infernal call! Now Jelman!”

The phone line went dead.

Kelsy rubbed the doctor’s back as Marco returned to the stage.

Marco said, “I am so sorry about that call. Some people have no respect.”

“It’s all right.” McMasters recovered.

Kelsy said, “We love you, David, and believe in your cause to help all mental health patients. Don’t we folks.”

The audience jumped to their feet and gave another ovation to the hero doctor.

McMasters announced, "Because of your warm welcome, everyone here receives a free copy of I am not OK and That’s OKAY!"

The crowd roared their approval.

“How about we have the good doctor on, each week, for a mental health segment?” Marco announced.

“How about it Doc?” Kelsy cooed.

“Yes. I would love it.”

Marco replied, “Great, just great. That’s our show for today. Join us tomorrow for Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts. These megastars join us to talk about their upcoming movie thriller: The Enemy Inside, based on the song by Dream Theater.”

Kelsy, Marco, and McMasters waved to the studio audience. McMasters gave the hosts a hug. As the catchy theme music blared, he marched backstage to Sandy.

“Do you know who was that blasted caller?” David barked at her.

“Not yet. Deana is tracing the call now.” The green-haired beauty replied, “It could be that nurse that helped Esmeralda escape.”

“How did she know about the book? We need to find her yesterday, and eliminate her! Is Mario secured and sedated like we planned?”

“Yes, sugar, I’m on it. He is at my safe house. The police will never find him. The spiders will handle this caller.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Good. Besides the last call, I believe it went quite well.”

“Excellent, really. Eating out of the palm of your strong hands.”

“I know.” He stopped before they exited the studio. “You were right about messing with celebrities’ minds. Exhilarating.”

“So much fun, honey.”

“And rewarding. You have our ‘souvenirs’ from Kelsy and Mark?”

“They won’t realize they are missing for a few minutes. Not until they change their wardrobe.” She giggled.

“They will not remember the marital infidelities until their next anniversary,” McMasters laughed, “next week. In two weeks, this show will be mine. The David and Sandy Show has a nice ring to it.”

“You know, sweetie, Marco meant nothing to me. You are the one I want.” She passionately kissed him.

He embraced her. “Kelsy was just a dirty weed in comparison to your infinite beauty. I do like your hair.” He caressed her green locks. “Let’s go. We have done enough wonderful damage here. What’s next?”

“CBS, CNN, FOX, and then NBC. You also have a meeting with the mayor at noon.” Sandy reminded him as she read the itinerary. Her index finger grazed a green and white New York Jets trinket attached to her necklace.

McMasters noticed, “When did you become an American football fan?”

"Since.." Sandy slyly replied, “since I got you booked on ESPN.”

David said, “My day just gets better and better.”

They exited the studio and strolled hand in hand to a dark-tinted silver Cadillac Escalade.