Thank you, I'm Sorry

He’d never spoken a word before. Not to what Ali had noticed of him so far. He sat in the back of the room and observed his classmates, never contributing to the class. She’d sneak looks back at him, but his long brown hair was always covering his face. It was so long that it covered his eyes and his nose, only revealing his lips. She didn’t even know what color his eyes were. 

Now, his head was resting on his desk and she wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not. 

Ali was a straight A student. She always sat in the front of the class. She always took notes and she always asked the right questions. All of her teachers loved her. She was aiming to make it to Harvard University. It was the beginning of junior year and she wanted nothing in the way of achieving that goal. 

On the homework board her teacher had written “QUIZ TOMORROW! STUDY!” as the last bell of the day rang. 

“Class, make sure to study the notes you’ve taken in class. Almost every note we took today will be on the quiz. There will be absolutely no retakes!” In response she got lots of groans from the majority of the class. Ali recorded everything she needed to in order to study so she wasn’t worried about the quiz. 

Ali was walking out of the classroom when she saw he was still sitting down, his head still on his desk. 

“Daniel?” She touched his shoulder lightly and his head shot right up. His hair hung over his eyes, and he pushed it back to look at who shook him awake. He realized it was the girl whose hand was always raised and who answered every question. He knew he recognized her voice. 

“Class is over. Did you take notes?” His hair fell over his eyes. 

Ali realized his hair was back over his eyes before she could see what color they were. She sighed. 

He scrambled to get up and he picked up his notebook that was closed and put off to the side of his desk. He threw it in his backpack and rushed out of the class. 

Ali followed him, catching up to him and walking at his pace. “We have a test on Thursday, in case you didn’t hear the teacher announce it.”

Daniel didn’t acknowledge her presence though. Instead, he kept walking, completely ignoring the fact that she was speaking. 

 “Do you have the notes?” 

The hallway was crowded with kids of all ages rushing to get out of school. It was a nice day. The sun was out and the air was warm. The autumn leaves were falling from the trees, all different colors. 

Ali continued following Daniel all the way outside to the student parking lot. Daniel walked all the way to the back of the lot to a green, ratty pick up truck. It was parked next to a Black 2018 Mazda. 

It was Ali’s car. 

Daniel opened the door to his car and got in it without speaking a single word to Ali. He sped out of the lot before she even got in her own car. On the whole drive home, she was wondering why Daniel never spoke. She doesn’t ever recall hearing his voice before. 

He had just enrolled at their school at the beginning of the year. The second week of school. The only class they had together was last period, but she noticed they also had the same lunch. So far, for the past month, she’d barely seen him participate. He either had his head down in class--and assumed he slept doing this-- or he’d be sitting up with his earbuds in. 

She always wondered what he listened to in class. 

And she also wondered why the teacher never spoke to him about his earbuds. She had a strict no phone policy. She wondered if their teacher favored Daniel. Or pitied him. He was the new student and she knew it was always a struggle being the new kid. She moved to town her freshman year. It was a bit nerving, but because a lot of people were brought in from different schools it was easier for her. 

The only friend she’s kept over the years was Pip. She was polar opposite to Ali. She had absolutely no plans for her future, and the only thing she thought about was sex and drugs, not caring that her grades are the lowest they can be. And her parents don’t care either. But they’ve been best friends ever since Ali moved. 

The first time they hung out they realized they lived on the same street, but at different ends. Lately, Ali has been spending her afternoons at the other end of her street, studying and doing homework while Pip smokes weed and complains about the prep school her parents forced her to go to this year. 

It was when she pulled into the driveway when she saw a particular green pickup truck she had just encountered. 

Daniel was getting out of his car at the same time she was. She called after him but he didn’t turn around. He kept walking, and she waited until he was inside his house and she couldn’t see him. 

“How well do you know your neighbor?” Ali asks Pip after a while of them not talking. 

“Who?” Pip asks in return, taking a drag of whatever it was she was smoking, Ali couldn’t tell. 

“He lives right over there,” Ali said, pointing out the window that gives the perfect view of Daniel’s house into a clean bedroom. She wasn’t sure if it was specifically Daniel’s, it could be a sibling’s room or even his parents, but just knowing someone related to Daniel would eventually pop into that room made Ali’s skin tingle. 

“Never talked to him,” Pip nonchalantly says. “He looks hella emo. Wears a lot of black.” She sits up off her bed. “I always see him through the window, I swear he never sleeps.”

Ali closes her books and lays them at the edge of the bed. She leans over and stares out the window. She stays like that, listening to the low reggae music Pip has playing in the background, waiting for Daniel to go into his room. 

Once the sun had gone down and it was dark out Daniel finally went into his room. But he wasn’t wearing baggy clothes or having his hair cover his face. He was wearing pajama pants and that was it. Ali could see his whole chest, his stomach, his arms, his neck. And his hair was combed back, looking like he freshly washed it. 

She wished she could see his eyes. 

It was all about seeing his eyes. 

By the time last period rolled around, Ali took her time walking to class. She quickly used the bathroom and walked at a slow pace, reaching the door just as the bell rang. As she suspected, the whole first row and second were full of students. Her regular seat was taken by a sweet girl, Maeve. 

So today, she sat in the back row. Next to Daniel. 

His head was resting on his desk and he had his earbuds in. Ali wasn’t close enough to hear the music that was playing. 

“Are you ready for the quiz?” Ali asked. She saw the subtle movement in Daniel’s body. It was as if she flicked him. A moment later he sat up, looking to the right of him and brushing the hair out of his face. She wished he looked towards her as he did that. 

When he turned his head though, he looked at her, but his hair was covering his face again. She wasn’t even sure if he could see, little more, how. 

He never answered the question. Instead, he reached over and took the pencil she took out for herself. With no words. 

Instead of asking for her pencil back, she just reached in her back and took another one. 

“I am handing out the quiz now,” the teacher announces. “Eyes on your own paper, no speaking during this quiz, and no cheating. You can come up to my desk and hand me your paper when you’re done.” 

As the teacher made her way through the isles, Daniel had his head down on his desk once again. Multiple times Ali tapped him to get him to sit up, but it was like he was immune to her touch. 

The teacher made her way to Ali and Daniel’s row. She placed the test on the corner of his desk, and he finally sat up and immediately started writing. 

When she handed Ali her quiz, she gave her an unknowing look. As to why she decided to sit next to Daniel on this particular day. 

I ignored her glance and I started on my quiz. The answers come easily to me. I studied all afternoon yesterday, before I went to bed, and during my free period I took time to study as well. 

But looking at Daniel, I don’t know what to think. He zoomed through the quiz. He was one question behind me. I take a subtle glance his way once again. It doesn’t look like he’s even fully reading the questions. He’s just circling answers. 

She quickly goes through the rest of the quiz, and as silently as she can, reaching into her backpack and rips off the corner of a notebook page from the first notebook she can find, and quickly writes down the answers to it. She folds the paper into a little tiny roll, and tosses it to Daniel. He doesn’t open it. She reaches over and nudges him with her pencil but he ignores her still. She tapped him with her index finger and he slapped her finger away. 

Ali, being persistent, tapped him again, and again. 

She doesn’t even know why she wants to help him so badly, but it's eating her alive and it’s all she wants to do right now. It's this pulse in her body, it’s screaming, help Daniel. 

It was screaming so loud that she didn’t hear the teacher come up behind her. All she could hear in her head, her pulse, and her heartbeat, was Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.

She couldn’t hear her teacher’s voice. 

Her hearing wasn’t working right. 

All she could do was look at Daniel as he sat back, brushed his hair back, showing two beautifully green eyes, and his fresh voice saying the first four words she'd ever heard spoken from him, “thank you, I’m sorry.” 

Thank you, I’m sorry. 

“Thank you,” “I’m sorry” she repeated 

And repeated

And repeated

"Harvard..."

But there wasn't Harvard. There wasn't anything. It was a green green abys of Thank you's and I'm Sorry's.