Shoes

Past references to Alcohol abuse and Domestic Violence

“How many pairs of shoes do you really need?” Scott asks his wife in exasperation as he trips over a shoe for at least the third time this week. “They are overflowing the shoe rack again. This weekend, can you go through them to see if there are any that you don’t wear and can donate?”

“I can try, but each of my shoes has a different purpose.” Hurrying to the hallway near the front door, Laura scoops up as many shoes as she can to cram them back onto the shoe shelves and out of the walkway.”

“I understand, but you have four different pairs of hiking shoes, and five pairs of tennis shoes. Surely, there are a few you can get rid of. You still have your boots, slippers, sandals, and chucks that I did not count.”

“Yes, I am aware.” I’m sorry, I will go through them this weekend. Because of their age and worn-out treads, some of them are old and should be discarded because they hurt my feet. ”I will go through them on Saturday.” Laura sighs in defeat and shoves her shoes back onto the shelves and goes back to the kitchen to make dinner.

When Saturday morning rolls around, we can find Laura sitting on the floor in the hallway surrounded by shoes of all types. Nike high tops, Wonder Woman Converse, Green leather boots, Mary Janes in both brown and black and three pairs of low top hiking shoes and two pairs of high tops. There are at least thirty-five pairs of shoes in piles around her. Her goal is to get it down to at least twenty, but hopefully lower. How many pairs of black she’s does she need after all? Does she really need three pairs of low top hiking shoes and two pairs of the high tops? That is the argument Scott always makes, anyway. 

Looking at her shoes and thinking about their uses always reminds her of her past, when she was a child of eight or nine, and the importance of a good pair of shoes. It was crucial to have a good pair of shoes during the nights when her stepfather came home drunk. The kind that were both fast to put on, and good for running or a long walk. The most comfortable ones she owned were also good to sleep in. When your drunk stepfather came home from the bar and started beating your mom in the middle of the night, it was important to make a fast getaway. Sleeping in your shoes saved time. This happened so often when Laura was little that the comfort of the shoe became the most important thing, that and how silent the shoe was.

The other thing that used to set her stepfather off was noise. He was a Vietnam Veteran and certain noises would cause him to lose his temper. Shoes that did not have squeaky soles or tap on the linoleum floors of the kitchen were the ones to buy. So, as she grew up, that is what she looked for: quiet, comfortable shoes. 

However, as a schoolteacher, she also needed shoes that were dressy and appropriate for the classroom and her profession, so her shoe collection grew and grew. She added dress shoes that were as quiet as she could make them. After she marries Scott and learned what a safe home was, she started adding shoes to fit her personality- fun and funky and served no greater purpose other than they were her favorite color or super hero. She looked at shoes as a statement piece of her wardrobe instead of a means of a quick escape, and so her shoe collection grew some more. She now owns over forty pairs of shoes if we count the dress shoes and slippers and water shoes for kayaking. At least Scott is not making her go through those as well. They are hanging up on a shoe rack and not falling off of the shelves. 

“ How are things going with the shoe purge? It looks as if you have them all sorted into piles at least.” Squatting down next to his wife, Scott looks at the chaos the shoes have created in the hall. 

Looking down at the mess I created, I shrug. “I know I should get rid of these Nikes because the treads are so smooth now that I slip all over the sidewalk if it is even the littlest bit damp, but they are really comfortable. I have decided, though, to get rid of my Cabela’s boots, one pair of Merrill's, my black Asics, black Nikes and Gray boots I bought online. That is five pairs down. There are a few more I could part with.”

Reaching out to grasp Laura’s hands, Scott looks into his wife’s eyes, “I know why you like to keep so many shoes around, but if they are dangerous to wear, they might cause you to fall. You were just complaining last week that your ankles are causing you issue again and you feel you are always on the verge of falling. I want you to walk through the hall without tripping over your shoes. But if you want more shoes, we can always buy you more. I just want you to go through them because they are causing a tripping hazard in the hall, not because I don’t want you to have shoes. We can see if we can find some replacements for those brown Nikes next weekend and then you can decide if you want to get rid of them. If you find five more pairs you like, I will build you a bigger shoe rack, too. How’s that sound?”

“It sounds like I love you.” Leaning in to kiss her husband, Laura feels safe, just like she always does when Scott is with her. Shoes used to be her means of escape from her house in the middle of the night. They needed to be fast, quiet, and easy to put on. Now they don’t have to be. They can be fun, loud, comfortable, or anything she wants them to be. All because the surrounding people have changed. Her home is safe now. Her children never had to worry about their shoes like she had to worry about hers. She has her husband to thank for that, her husband and a good pair of shoes.