Alicia

Alicia lived a phenomenal and very much carefree lifestyle.

She had no regrets of being single, and she loved every minute of it. 

Not having anyone to be responsible to was something a lot of her friends envied. Everyone who encountered Alicia, loved her free spirit and infectious laughter. She was that person that everyone wanted to be around.

Here Alicia was, on her third holiday this year at Marina di Praia Beach in Praiano, Italy and it was absolutely breathtaking. 

What she loved the most was how the grey rock ridges were placed in-between the beach, which in turn seemed to open up this utopia of such incredible beauty. 

The sea was just a gorgeous sparkling turquoise green, that changed colour at dusk and dawn to a magnificent navy blue or sky blue if the sun was rising.

The sun placed a spotlight on the locals, who descended in small groups to this secret escape. 

This corner of Praiano was just ridiculous and a perfect location for Alicia’s birthday weekend. She had consciously made the decision for this holiday to be a trail run for travelling on her own and who knows where this would take her and how much confidence she could build to go on to the next adventure. 

Alicia had already done Sicily with a group of girlfriends the weekend before and she loved them dearly, but this weekend she really wanted to try a holiday by herself.

This trip just felt special.

Italy was close to Alicia’s heart. There was something about the people, food, weather and locations that just resonated so deeply within her soul.  

Alicia had been all around the world; Jamaica, Singapore, Bali, Israel, Mauritius, US, Egypt, India and Australia. But somehow, Alicia would always come back to Italy. 

It sometimes felt like Italy chose her and that’s what made her connection with the country even more special. 

This was Alicia’s last day and she relished every single last second. 

She wanted to see if she could find a red wine better than her favourite, Nero D’Avala. She was also privy to a good Lobster linguini, and wanted to see if she could find one better than her favourite Italian restaurant in London.

There were private boat tours at Marina di Praia beach that took tourists all around the Amalfi coast and into the main part, Capri. Alicia made a last minute decision to go.

Later on, when she returned from her trip, she decided to have dinner at the restaurant on the beach. After the meal at the local restaurant on the beach and watching some cowboy movies in her hotel room, which was pointless as it was dubbed in Italian, she decided to call it a night. 

Alicia was sleeping before catching her early morning flight back to London. 

It was 3am and suddenly Alicia’s phone started vibrating. It was her brother, Zechariah, from Australia who was calling. The beautiful sea and the moon reflected nothing but blue in Alicia’s room. She would have appreciated it more, if she wasn’t so tired.

What Alicia found strange is that Zech never called her at this time of the hour, even when she was in London.  Zech was in Australia and whenever he called it would be around 7pm his time which would be 6am at Alicia’s time as he loved waking her up, a habit he had got into when they were children.  Zech loved to do this as it annoyed Alicia, she loved to sleep when she had the time. 

Alicia woke up, but she knew just from hearing her brothers voice that something was wrong. For someone to be calling at this hour, it couldn’t be good news. 

When Alicia answered the phone, Zech’s voice sounded shaky and not the usual happy, sarcastic tone that he used with his little sister. 

“Alicia, wake up. Mum had to be rushed to the hospital.”

Alicia rushed through the hospital door barely stopping or taking a breath with her holiday luggage bag behind her. She asked the receptionist the ward her Mother was staying in. Alicia was directed accordingly. 

It had been such a horrible flight home as Alicia couldn’t think straight or sit still. It wasn’t worth getting an earlier flight as she was leaving Capri airport at 7am.  Zech had actually done her a favour and woke her up an hour before her alarm was due to go off. 

When Alicia got to the ward, there was her Mother lying on the bed, asleep. 

Alicia rushed over, sweating. She hadn’t even had a chance to shower or change, she came straight from the airport. 

As soon as Zech said their Mother was in the hospital, Alicia feared the worst. Alicia despised hospitals. They were so soul destroying, particularly A&E, and people were always in pain. Alicia disliked seeing people in pain. 

When Alicia went over to her Mum she was sleeping peacefully. Alicia gently shook her. She woke up and just looked at Alicia confused. 

Alicia managed to ask as her throat started closing up due to tears, “Mum, are you OK?”

The last time Alicia had seen her Mum, Judith, her walking seemed slow and she was out of breath very quickly. Not only that, but her speech and movements seemed to be slowing down also. 

Alicia saw Judith at a Christening for her cousin Esther’s baby.

Everyone seemed to be asking Alicia what was wrong with Judith and if she was OK. Alicia didn’t really think about it and just put it down to old age.

After Esther’s son christening at the church, the family went into the hall for further celebrations.

What Alicia noticed is that Esther’s Mum, Aunt Anne, was a few years older than Judith, but she was able to hold a conversation and walk fine. When Alicia was looking at her Mother she was looking confused and was struggling to walk, this didn’t seem right or even seem to add up. 

Someone even came up to Alicia and asked, when did her Mother have her mini-stroke.

Alicia was back in the hospital. For the past few days they had conducted scans, did memory tests and were now telling Alicia that Judith would have to undergo speech and physiotherapy and even possibly have some minor adaptations done to her home.

What they noticed is that Judith had stopped taking some of her medication as they looked on medical records and none had been collected from the pharmacy for the last few months and she hadn’t been for a doctors check-up for a while. Alicia then realised she probably had avoided the doctors just in case they tell her something that she doesn’t want to hear and also questions about her medication. 

Judith had fallen a few times, but she had always covered her tracks when speaking to Zechariah or Alicia as she didn’t want them to worry. 

Understandably, Judith’s doctors were concerned. Judith also had difficulty getting changed, which was news to Alicia, none of this was making any sense. They were concerned that Judith might of had a stroke or even a mini-stroke, but they couldn’t find anything.

When Judith was eventually discharged Alicia had to go back and stay with her Mum in her childhood home. Alicia had no idea how this would work out as she had her own place, but she couldn’t leave her Mum by herself.

This was Alicia’s favourite day. Friday evening after work was always fun. There was something exciting about going to the bar near her workplace with Ruth and Joel. They were so much fun and worked with Alicia. Never a dull moment.

Ruth needed to de-stress at the bar after a long day at work as a student counsellor at the college and Joel needed to get away from the desk as the Executive Officer to the Principal. Alicia worked in events at the college and loved her job. There was always something to plan and she was never bored. 

Alicia’s boss, John, always made sure that his calendar was fully booked for free time after 1 pm on Fridays. Because of the free time on Fridays, occasionally John and Alicia would have to give up their Saturdays, once-a-month. This was only sometimes, not all the time.

John could always rely on Alicia as she took her job seriously and was always the centre of attention and the life of the party. They had a solid rapport, both were on the same page and there was a lot of trust. John didn’t have to tell Alicia to do anything, she just knew and that was what he loved the most. 

Before leaving that Friday afternoon, John asked Alicia about the event next Saturday and if the VIP’s had confirmed their attendance. This was a big event and it would hopefully draw in students. Alicia confirmed that the VIP’s would be attending and that everything was in hand. John was grateful, he knew he could count on Alicia.

When Alicia and Judith returned from the hospital back to the family home, Alicia was shocked. So much had happened in less than a year. 

The place looked untidy with clothes everywhere. What was more concerning for Alicia is that the bottom of Judith’s bed and around the frame was covered in clothes. When Alicia asked Judith why she did this, Judith tried to explain that she was cold, it was September and mild outside. 

Listening to her Mother not really being able to speak coherently was possibly one of the biggest challenges for Alicia. It was only the other day she was speaking to her Mum on the phone and she sounded slower, but not inaudible. 

The dishes had piled up and the house looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for a while. There was just mess everywhere. 

Immediately Alicia saw a number come up on the phone that she didn’t recognise, it was Judith’s doctor. Judith’s doctor explained that a referral was made and adult social services will be contacting Alicia within two weeks for her Mother to be assessed in the home and for a care package to be put in place. 

Alicia was grateful for the call. Now she had to call John at work and explain that she wouldn’t be able to attend any of the events for the next few weeks whilst she got her Mother’s care sorted out. John was not impressed as around this time of the year, the start of term, was usually the busiest, but he understood.

This was going to be a challenge, but rather than stop and think about it or even look at the magnitude of the problem, Alicia had to take this head on and deal with it. 

Her Mother was not well and needed her help, her brother was in Australia and Alicia’s Dad, Martin, passed away a year-ago. Alicia did wonder if her Dad’s passing contributed to her Mum’s deterioration, as Alicia and Zech’s Mum and Dad were soul mates. When you saw one, you saw the other. They were like a hand and a glove, tea and water, sugar and coffee.

Alicia was scared to leave her Mum in the house by herself, but she had to go back to her house and pack some things, but how?

She remembered that her Mum was very close to her neighbour, Sara. Sara only lived next door. Alicia went over and thought that now would be a good a time as any to introduce herself and explain what was happening.

It had now been over a week and Alicia was exhausted. She had taken her Mum to so many medical appointments, made sure that she picked up her medication from the pharmacist, cleaned her clothes, cooked for her, changed her and kept her company. Although Judith was not one-hundred-per-cent herself, Alicia could still see her Mum’s personality and that wicked sense of humour that she had inherited. 

Judith’s doctor had already spoken to the hospital who had contacted them to tell them social services were putting a care package in place.

Gone were the days when Alicia could just pick-up and go and do what she wanted, she had to consider her Mum. The worst part is that Alicia was neglecting herself. 

When Alicia had gone to see Sara, she was lovely. She knew the challenges that Alicia was facing and offered her services to sit with Judith, should she need a break. Alicia didn’t want to be a bother, but she did ask Sara to sit with her Mum as she packed some belongings for the next few weeks.

Alicia was missing her social life. She missed her friends. It was as if she was running on empty or feeling around in the dark when it came to her Mum and what to do, but she didn’t want to think about it for too long. 

Social services eventually called Alicia and made an appointment for the following week. Alicia sighed the biggest relief. She could handle another week.

John was keeping in contact with Alicia for a while, until he begged her to come into work one day to try and at least help out. 

Alicia was reluctant as she didn’t want to leave her Mum alone in the house, but she had no choice. Alicia decided to leave her Mum in the house alone. It would be a good way to see if she could handle herself. It wasn’t as if Alicia was going away overnight. It was just for a few hours at work and she would be back before it got late in the evening. 

Alicia was not her usual self. Normally at these events she would be chatty and would even help herself to the food that she ordered and most importantly relax. John knew Alicia wasn’t herself when not one single macaron had been touched on the desert table. She couldn’t help worrying how her Mum was and if she was OK. What made Alicia’s concerns even bigger is that she had to stay longer after the event to help tidy up. 

It wasn’t until later when Alicia checked her phone on the train, that she saw ten missed calls from Judith. Alicia started to panic. She called Judith back, but there was no reply. When Alicia eventually made it home and walked through the front door, she called for Judith, but she heard nothing. She went into every single room in the house and Judith still wasn’t answering. Alicia kept calling for her, but heard nothing. Alicia was terrified. 

Suddenly, Alicia’s phone rang, it was Zech, “I had a missed call from Mum, but when I eventually spoke to her, she told me that she was going to the neighbour, Sara?”. Alicia ran over to Sara’s next door and rang the doorbell. She asked Sara if her Mum was in the house. Sara said she was, and allowed Alicia into the house. Sara offered to exchange numbers with Alicia and Alicia was more than happy to oblige.

Alicia was relieved, but frantic. 

There was Judith was sitting on the armchair with a cup of tea and she was still in her pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers watching a TV programme and singing away with not a care in the world. When Judith saw Alicia, the biggest smile appeared on her face. 

As the week went on it got more challenging for Alicia. Judith didn’t want to sit still and Alicia couldn’t blame her as this was a woman who was once so independent and loved her freedom. She would always be visiting someone, walking around, shopping, taking day trips to relatives who lived out of London on the train or even just sitting on the bus contented after doing chores.  The Mother-daughter roles were now reversed. 

It was as if Judith’s brain was still ticking, but her body couldn’t do what her brain wanted it to do. 

She was cooking one day, but Alicia was on the phone. Suddenly the fire alarm went off and Alicia realised her Mum had accidentally let the handle of the cooking spoon onto the hob as she had turned the wrong button. Alicia realised there and then that she couldn’t let her Mum cook unattended. She told Judith this, but she wasn’t happy. 

Judith started shouting at Alicia, she was shocked, but had to realise that this wasn’t the same woman standing in front of her two years ago. This was now a different person.

This was not going to be easy. Alicia couldn’t understand how her life had suddenly taken such a huge turn and it was hard balancing her Mum and work together. This is not how she imagined her life to be at this age at all. 

What made Alicia even angrier was the fact her brother was on the other side of the world and he couldn’t help either of them. It felt as if Alicia was taking the full brunt of all the responsibility. 

Alicia was not the nicest teenager, but her Mum never gave up on her. Alicia could easily put her Mother in a care home and get on with her life, but she didn’t want to. Her Mother could have easily have put her in boarding school or even her Dad could have sent her away as a teenager, but they didn’t give up on her. She had seen and heard some horror stories from some care homes and it made her blood run cold. The least Alicia could do was look after her Mother at her most vulnerable and that’s what she promised that she would always do, no matter what happened. 

The adult social worker eventually came to see Alicia and Judith. 

As Alicia and the adult social worker sat together, with Judith at the other end of the room, Alicia was explaining what help she needed. 

The social worker could tell that Alicia was a little exhausted and needed some help. 

The adult social worker looked at Alicia and said reassuringly, “Don’t worry, I am here to help you.”