A Double Agent. A Sexy Double Agent. My Sexy Double Agent.

“Hey, Jessie! Jessiebelle! Jessaaa!”

“What, Ryan?!”

“Wow… normally, people are happy on a Friday afternoon.” I leaned over in my office chair, poking Jessie with a pen lightly. “What’s eating you?”

“Nothing. I just have a lot to get through before five. Well, before four-thirty, actually – I need to leave early.”

“Oh… hot date?”

“Not really.” Jessie continued typing into the report on her PC. She’d spent days, weeks on it already. The deadline was fast approaching, it was already two, and she needed to proof it quickly before handing it in. I could smell the stress on her.

“Then what? Surely the workaholic Jessica Belfort has plans this weekend?”

“I don’t, really. Just writing, probably. Chill one. Now, let me do this, or if you’re looking for something to do, can you start proofing it for me?”

“I’ll take a look, sure. Just grammar and shit?”

“Perfect!”

While I know I managed to piss her off every day, Jessie’s my work best friend, and yet even I thought she badly needed a hobby outside of writing. Her sleek Lenovo went with her everywhere, and any chance she got, she’d whip out it out of her bag and start writing, typing away furiously. No-one ever got to see the books, though. Assuming she was writing books. None of us really knew what she was writing. She’d been shut down too many times by it.

Unfortunately for Jessie, today was another of those days.

“Hey motherfuckers.” Vinnie leaned against the filing cupboard to our left. I felt Jessie tense up behind us. Jessie hated the woman with a passion. “Fancy drinks tonight?”

“I can’t sorry,” came Jessie’s immediate reply. “I already have something.”

“You? Have plans? Let me guess – dinner for one, then writing? Or knitting?”

“Neither, actually. It’s just an evening with some friends.”

“Right.” Vinnie sipped her coffee. Our line of work (very boring statistics and data analysis) required afternoon coffees, and yes, we all slept fine. Even if my girlfriend hated my coffee breath when I got home… even if I hated her with a passion because she folds the toilet paper into an arrow and wastes a roll making it into a stupid flower on the cistern… anyway – not the point.

“What are you up to, then?” I asked, trying to give Jessie an out.

“Oh – me and Macy are going to see that new film that everyone’s talking about? The premier of it’s in Leicester Square. We have tickets.” Vinnie swept her hair back. I hated her, to be honest, when she had something better than you. Always with the hair-flipping. My girlfriend did it, too… Jessie never. It was always tucked behind her ears, or in a low pony… sometimes, she’d put it in this cute bun, that really made her face change shape entirely… Anyway. Not the point.

“Oh… yeah, I know the one! Undercover? About the police? Critics went mad for it?” I took a sip of my coffee. Jessie had stopped typing. I looked at her, but she was reading something from the page in front of her. Vinnie was smirking in that way that, if she was a guy, I’d want to punch him. But I’m chicken shit and wouldn’t do it regardless. But I’d want to, and that’s the main thing.

“Yeah. Undercover. I hope we get to sit with the celebs. I think Ryan Reynolds is in it, you know? And Andy Samberg, too – they’re both police officers. It looks so good, honestly – we saw the trailer and we were like ‘oh my GOD it looks incredible’! Like whoever wrote it looks like an absolute genius. I love going to the cinema. Wouldn’t you rather be doing something that actually holds joy, Jessie? Rather than writing all the time?”

“I like writing.” Jessie added another sentence to her report.

“Yeah, but you can’t do anything with it. What’s the point?”

“I don’t know, Vy. I really don’t. It’s not your thing, just like painting canvasses with acrylic isn’t my thing. We’re different people.”

“I’m just saying. You should try painting one day – it’s something different. You might like it.”

“I tried it often enough as a kid. I liked it, but I prefer digital art. And I like writing. And I like knitting and crocheting, too. I like those things.” Jessie gave a shrug. “I’m sorry you don’t think they’re worth anything.”

“Well, you know.” Vinnie gave a shrug. The tension was so thick, I could have cut it like a cake. Vinnie and Macy loved getting their jabs into everyone in the office, but for some reason, Jessie was a special target because she liked cartoons and didn’t value stocks and shares over paying for experiences with her family. I knew her backstory – her trauma, her father leaving her for two other kids, an abusive stepfather, an abusive and manipulative ‘friend’ at university… I knew all about it. And she knew about my brother dying in the same car crash that I walked away from without a scratch when I was sixteen. He’d been driving, a spider had dangled right in front of me. I’d screamed, it hit my face, and Jason lost control of the car and his side hit an eighteen-wheeler. Dead. And I had nothing more than a bruised eye socket. Only Jessie and HR knew about that. Jessie had been a bit more open at one point, though, and she’d told Macy and Vinnie about her past, and one day they’d ripped it apart and left her crying uncontrollably in the toilets. So you can imagine why I was grateful when Vinnie left.

A few hours of silence later, Jessie’s report was done. It was half four on the dot, and she was walking out of the office, bag in hand. She’d been quieter than normal, more reserved, nervous… not like her to get so het up over a report, but then I hadn’t had the chance to speak to her about stuff, not really. I sent her a text.

Hey, hope you’re doing okay – I noticed you were quiet today, but after Vicious Vin came over, I didn’t want to push you any further. Whatever it is, I hope you’re okay, and talk to me if you need to. Love ya! R xx

***

Jessie climbed out of the sleek black car and stepped onto the red carpet. The press were there, photographing her, because they photographed everyone who got out of sleek black cars in nice dresses and heels. Her chocolate hair was swept back into a chic low bun, with a single jewelled clip slid in to keep her fringe back. Her make-up was glam but minimal, accentuating her face rather than adding to it. Her dress was floor-length, fitted, and black to match her heels and clutch bag, with a few sparkles here and there. Her jewellery was silver, the only dash of colour was the red-wine lipstick that gave her pout a pop. This was her big break. And she was grateful to have Susie, co-writer and producer, by her side in an equally-stunning black dress.

“I’m nervous, Sue,” Jessie said, smiling. Her cheeks trembled.

“Don’t be – this is as bad as it gets! Every time after this is easy.”

“You think I’ll have another hit like this?”

“Well, now might be a good time to tell you that they approved funding for a second one.” Susie smiled at her. Jessie let the news sink in, and then let out a yell of delight.

“You’re serious?!”

“Yes! Now, keep it to yourself and smile for the cameras!”

A short walk down the carpet later, Jessie and Susie had done interviews, had chatted with the stars of their movie, and had done a piece for TV too. And now, it was time for some bites to eat, a toast of champagne to the cast and crew – and the writers, who’d made it impossible to follow the script until that scene at the end which pulled everything together – and then it was time to sit down and watch the film.

The entire time, Jessie kept her eyes peeled for Vinnie and Macy, but she didn’t see either of them. Strange. She’d hoped to see them… there was a civilian section of the cinema reserved for those who’d gone into a ballot. Those seats hadn’t yet been filled by the time they were there… but then…

“Oh my god look – it’s actually Ryan Reynolds! It’s actually him!” Vinnie’s voice carried. Jessie looked over to poor Ryan, who rolled his eyes and turned on his charming smile. Jessie looked right at Vinnie, and then at Macy, and neither of them recognised her. She smiled demurely. A small victory – how would either of them react when, on Monday morning at the team meeting, she’d be announcing her leave… After all, they’d both said her writing wouldn’t get her anywhere… and now look at her. And look at them. At a movie their colleague had written, sat right in front of them… and neither of them knew it was her.

***

Monday morning came around, and Jessie was in work a little later than usual, since her weekend had been spent celebrating with people who actually adored her. I’d seen the photos online. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. There was a reason Jessie hadn’t told any of us – hadn’t told me – about her secret double agent life, and I wanted to honour that. But I couldn’t deny how stunning she looked in that poured-on black dress… I felt cheated out of a nice night with her, actually. Supporting partner, there to hold her hand and tell her how amazing she is…

Alright, yeah, I’m deeply in love with her. Have been since the day she first started, walked through that door, sat at that desk and wafted her stupid fucking shampoo in my direction… I love her. And I haven’t yet had the balls to tell her.

Not the point. She was in late, and I was shocked, because she was always dead on time. Turned out, though, she hadn’t been late. She’d been in since half eight, just in a meeting with HR. I was walking towards the meeting rooms when Jessie appeared by my side, notebook in hand.

“My days are finally over – Jessie Belfort is late?!” I clutched my metaphorical sarcastic pearls.

“I wasn’t late. I was with HR.” Jessie smiled up at me. There was something different about her. I loved it. Her eyes were sparkling, but her smile was still small and unassuming. She didn’t talk about her weekend. Why would she? She was too humble, evidently. And the better part was, no-one else seemed to have seen the photos. Vinnie and Macy hadn’t once sent her a nasty, scathing, ‘I’m super jealous of you’ look… yet.

“Oh. I’ll let you off, then. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah… oh, and thank you for your text on Friday – I got super busy, so I couldn’t talk much…”

“Jessie, don’t explain. I totally understand. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s not like you to be that quiet. Quiet, yes… but that was next level.” I touched her arm, but I wanted to pull her into a hug.

“Well… if you’re not busy tonight, we could go for a drink and I could give you the run down?”

“Sure. I’ll just cancel my five-thirty massage and my seven o’clock dinner with myself.”

“Oh… did you and Sarah break up?”

“Very happily, yes we did. I ended it with her on Saturday, actually. At precisely twelve-twenty-four pm.”

“Oddly specific.”

“I had a good reason.”

“Oh?”

“Drinks tonight. Two run downs. Dinner’s on me.”

“Deal.”

We went into the meeting room and took our seats. Vinnie and Macy were still drooling over Andy Samberg, laughing at something he said in the movie.

What happened next, guys, gals and non-binary pals, is absolutely priceless.

“Alright, folks,” our boss, Michael, said. “I didn’t put any agenda today, because there isn’t one. There’s only one point to this meeting. It’s with a heavy heart that I announce Jessica is going to be leaving us at the end of the week.” All eyes turned to Jessie. Even mine, although I kind of expected it, knowing what I knew.

“Leaving?” asked Sophie, our longest-standing employee. “What will you be going to do?”

“Well… it wasn’t an easy decision. I’ll miss most of you dearly. But I’ll be leaving to write.”

“Write?” asked James. “As in, books? Or for a newspaper?”

“Oh… neither. Movies, mainly.” I swear to god, Vinnie and Macy choked on their tongues.

“Movies?!” Vinnie breathed. Macy was scrolling her phone furiously under the table.

“Yes.”

“Which ones?!”

“Well… I can’t say a lot right now… but one should be out soon.”

“That’s great news, Jessie! Congratulations! What’s the name of your movie? Me and Harvey want to go see something good.” asked Lucy, another quiet girl. Her husband, Harvey, was a paramedic and did weird hours.

“Oh, erm... I really can’t say… it’s for Pixar, and they’re funny about what we announce before to the press before the animation’s somewhat ready…”

“Pixar?!” Vinnie nearly inhaled the entire room’s air.

“Alright, people, you can ask your questions over a coffee. But Jessie, whatever you end up writing next… it’s going to be incredible. I know it.” Michael was an avid fan of Jessie.

“Thanks, guys,” Jessie replied, her skin burning up as people congratulated and wished her well.

In the coffee corner, I collared Jessie.

“I saw your photos, Jess. And I’m so, so fucking happy that you’re getting out of here to do what you love.” I felt my own cheeks heat up. “And I’d really love to hear all about it tonight… but if you want to keep quiet about it – except for the bits you have to, I totally get that – then I understand. But fuck, I’m rooting for you.”

“Thanks, Ry. I want to tell you. I just was freaking out a bit this weekend –“

“You wrote Undercover.” Macy and Vinnie were stood there. Macy’s phone was lit up. An IMDB page was just visible under her thumb. It almost made them look psychotic. I say almost… they are literal psychos.

“Didn’t you, Jessie?” Vinnie’s voice was quiet. “You wrote Undercover?”

“Yes. I did.”

“And the premier was this weekend?”

“Yes. It was.”

“Great. I mean, the story was alright –“

“Actually, ladies, you both loved it. You both raved about it afterwards. I know, I was there, I heard you both. You both said the writing was flawless, and then you spent some time mocking ‘that person over there who looks just like Jessie’. Imagine if it was me? Well, it was.” Jessie pulled out her phone and loaded up E! Entertainment, and started scrolling through the photos of the evening. “It was me. And I’m leaving because I’ve sold another script for a fair whack, and Pixar have asked me to go over to LA to consult on something. So yeah, I’m good at writing, and yeah, it’s paying off.” Jessie closed her phone. “Maybe you might become the next Andy Warhol, Vin? And Macy, maybe you might be the next Wolf of Wall Street. I wish you both the best for it, but I’ll be doing what I love, with people who love me for it, and with people who support me and don’t try to belittle every single last thing I do.” Jessie took a breath, and I felt like the air was shimmering around me. “Oh, and you know that cartoon I love that you always say I need to grow up away from? I’m writing an episode with them next week. So maybe growing up isn’t always what’s best for everyone.”

Needless to say, Jessie left the office to a lot of love and hugs, and I left with her. That dinner we had, she explained everything, and I told her how I’d felt for years about her. She did the unthinkable – pulled me close and kissed me – and then said she wished I’d said something sooner. We started dating, long distance at first, but then I went out to LA and organised her schedules for her, and before I knew it, I was handing in my own resignation to work as her assistant via the agency that she was represented by. Decent pay, great hours, a beach ten minutes away… and the love of my life doing what she loves in places we love… it all turned out perfectly.

And the moral of the story is never to fucking grow up, because that sucks arse and isn’t any fun at all. Oh, and also, be a secret agent, because that’s cool as hell and just makes you sexy. As for Macy and Vin? They’re both still working there. They grew up so much, they forgot how to live.