DIY

He hear about it often but never really as it's with him always put it to work. Do it yourself is a jingle that rings out in his life almost every day. It's never in his character to do certain things he believes it's certain kind of people work to do. He guess that it's the over indulging upbring he passed through in the hands of his parents. If a mop breaks, it will never occur to him to look at it well and see how he can repair it, if any electronics stop working, it will not cross his mind to take a proper look at it and see what he can do about it. He was nearly twenty- something years before he started going to hospitals alone without his parents. It's funny when he thinks about things like that. He had been trying to see who would teach him how to write certain essays in the correct order, not bullshit they teach in schools, it never occurred to him that he need not seek help when what he was seeking for is there with him on the same gadget that is always in his hands. Smartphone.

He always focuses on the finished work of others believing that the only way one can be a good writer is, if you attend certain schools, located at certain places, teachers special kind of humans, infallible ones he reads about and get what they call MFA and others like them. The names of writers he grew up hearing seems to him to be a special kind of humans not the type he is. He believes there is a way heaven molded those guys and gals to make them who they are. When he looks at their images in papers or watches them on TV, they certainly look, sit and talk differently unlike him. There must be certain things heaven forgot to add in his head that are in theirs in over quantity and quality. He can't help it when he kept moping into distance lost in thought and hopeless void. 

There must be something in a name as everyone believes but how come his name is sunny, yet, there is nothing sunny or sunshine in his life as far as he is concerned. Had his name been Thomas, he would have agreed that his problem is in the name and at least find something to hate his parents for. But how can he tackle them on his unprogressive quest to be a better writer? He will write, then, read all those newsletters trying to find how those guys craft their works without success.    His problems were compounded when he went into exploration to know if he would even be able to write anything as mediocre as it might be if he joined 8 to 5 workers. At least, that is when he will know if he is meant for what he is dreaming about. Producing mediocre works you sweated like a Christmas goat to achieve when it's all you do each day. If you can't when it's what you do each day, how would you when it's what you set aside after the main thing each day? 

He went out to find work, but always has one eye on the clock and the mind trying to generate ideas to focus on when he returns home. In Fact it's evident that he was using his mind's eyes more than his real eyes to walk about and such is dangerous to do in an unorganized city like the one he lives in. Humans, cars, dogs, motorcycle, barrow pushers no one has respect for road rules. It's important that you are in body, soul and spirit once out of your house or else, you might end up in an orthopedic hospital or worse in a morgue. 

   "You said you did your service in the local government Secretariat?"

"Posted there originally but was reposted to secondary School with others" he was surprised  he even heard what the woman asked. He was lost on how to find formulas that work in writing, all the newsletters are types that believe everyone reading them are at par with them. The kind of advice they give are kinds meant for themselves not his kind. He doesn't understand what those guys are talking about really. 

   " We want those that know the regulations and working of real government work not those that served in village schools" the woman was eyeing him like a kite eyes chicken their wayward mother left them far behind her while pecking here and there searching for what her kids don't know. They had been feeding themselves each day.

He later found work in a cafe trying to stay there for two months while checking out how he could cope with what he was trying to figure out. " Am I meant for this" is what had been hammering on him for long he was determined to find out. Two months of 8 to 5 will answer the question. He was determined to be honest with himself while at it. How those writers he reads about go out in the morning and return by 5 and still produce those works is surprising to him. Anytime he goes out, it's alway sooo tired when he returns that he believes it's lack of his body adjusting to what is thrown at it. It pisses him off at times. He sees himself as person who can sacrifice anything and still don't feel it that much to get what he wants. It's not as if he is not doing much or not looking out enough. But you can't see what is not where you are looking. Where to focus is what he needs and who to point things out to him is what he needs. Sacrifice that follows is on him, not on the teacher. 

The cafe work isn't that easy nor that difficult either. Illiterate business people, educated business people, students, government workers all troop daily inside there. He was surprised and was wondering what they do with all those documents they photocopy each day. Too many papers that always left him wondering. Well, he was on mission only he knows. Two weeks into the work, he was still struggling with five hundred words each night. But as per his principle, he knew that he needs to stick to it like glue if his body, spirit and emotions were to convince themselves that he meant business. He tried 8 to 10 pm each day for three days, tried 9 to 12 each day and was finding it difficult initially getting out of bed in the morning, how do other writers he reads about do it? He decided that eight hours of sleep each day is a story scientists are telling themselves. 

In the second month, his choice of 8 to 12 was working for him and his body is no longer complaining and he seems to be getting ideas from nowhere. His head and brain seems to be respecting themselves too. He was into reading all manners of sites and authors in the cafe system and that was where he stumbled onto one author in the Inc.com that listed a template on how to deliver a speech and it was meant for his level  judging from the examples he gave there. He was finding out that persistent really does the work. If you keep hammering at any closed door, with time, it must open or be knocked down.