Holy Cow! It’s Really You!

Holy Cow! It’s Really You!

By Cal Kirby

It is a beautiful sunny day, and my wife is out of town with her friends, so I am walking to my favorite BBQ restaurant on Main Street to have lunch. I wasn’t paying much attention when I rounded the corner of the building.

Bam! I am flat on my butt, with this familiar face with blue eyes staring down at me.

“Holy cow! It’s really you!”

“I am so sorry, sir. I really, truly am sorry.” He kept apologizing to me.

“Oh, my butt feels like I got kicked by a mule, but that is ok, I’ll survive. At 82 years old, I am just glad I don’t have to go to the hospital.” I laugh.

“It is so nice seeing you again. I never expected to see you in this little town.”

He helps me up dusts off my back-side, and again apologizes.

“I’ll tell you what. If you have some time, join me in my favorite BBQ place, and we can discuss old times.”

“Old times? Do I know you?”

“Well, let’s go inside and I will explain to you.”

“Ok, I have an hour before I meet my brother to check out a couple of entertainment venues, and I am hungry.”

We walk into the restaurant and Lesley greets us, and is a little shocked at seeing my guest. In fact he is flummoxed.

“Lesley, can you seat us in the back area, so we can have some privacy?”

“Sure thing, Mr. Kramer.”

As we sit down and Lesley takes our drink order, the voice across the table says, “So, I am very curious. How do I know you? And, what’s your name?

“Well, you don’t know me, but everyone knows you. My name is Chet Kramer. Forty some years ago, I was an extra in the movie Diner, and you were, to me, an unknown actor, playing a very interesting character, with some other unknown, to me at the time, actors. I was like 40 at the time, and had never heard of you or Mickey Rourke, Tim Daley or Ellen Barkin.”

“Oh, wow.” He said.

“That was a breakout film for me and I really enjoyed being with all those other young actors, who I had just met when we started filming. What scenes were you in?”

“Well, I was in several scenes before the first scene where I saw you. That was at the train station in Baltimore, where Tim Daley’s character was coming home from college and all his friends, you included, met him at the station. Several of us older extras were saying, “Who are these people?”

He chuckles.

“It wasn’t until the film came out that we were able to know who you and the rest of the actors were. You all were so unknown at the time.”

“Wow, I remember that scene. It was very late or early on an Easter Sunday morning.”

“Yes, all of us extras got Golden-time pay because of the extra hours we were working, and it being a Sunday and holiday.”

“I don’t even remember what I got paid for that one,” he said.

“I am curious. I love Paul Reiser. How was he to work with?”

“Oh, he was great. So funny. He was always cracking us up.”

“The next time we met was in the film, He Said, She Said. I played a weather man in a TV studio. That was some years later, when you were very well known.”

He then began to reminisce.

“Yes, I remember working with Elizabeth Perkins and Sharon Stone, who were also in it. I also remember they did a unique 360 degree camera move that was pretty new at the time. That was exciting. I loved shooting that scene.”

I said, “I also remember seeing Anthony LaPaglia for the first time on that film. I didn’t know who he was at the time. He played like the floor director or something.”

“Yes, that was my first time meeting him, as well. He was very good. Wow, you and I go back awhile.” He chuckled.

“That’s not all!”

“Oh really, there’s even more?” He chuckles again.

“Yes!”

“About a year later, I worked in the film Miss Rose White, starring your wife, Kyra. You were not in the film, but you were there watching your children, while she worked.”

“Oh yeah. That was down in a department store in Virginia, if I remember correctly.”

“That’s right. I just remember you being so nice to me.”

“Well, I am glad I was. Sometimes I get some bad publicity because I am actually very shy and don’t always come off as a nice guy.”

“Well, I tell everyone I talk to about you, that you are very nice.”

“Thanks!”

Lesley brings our food and he was very nervous sitting the food down

“Relax, I won’t bite you.” He chuckled again, and Lesley almost swooned.

 We continued talking for another 40 minutes, while eating our delicious BBQ.

“What kind of venue are you and your brother looking for?”

“Well we’re looking for some small place, not a big concert hall or anything like that. “

“Have you tried Ramshead Tavern in Annapolis?”

“No. Is that a good place?”

“Well, we’ve seen a few groups perform there and it is very nice and we enjoy it quite a bit. They seem to have some very interesting musical groups and comedy acts and have a good reputation.”

“That sounds great. We’ll check it out. Well, I really need to get going and meet my brother. We’re going to check out a couple of venues to play our music. We’ll also checkout Ramshead. Thanks for the tip.”

“That’s great. I will bring my wife and check you and your brother out when I hear where you are playing.”

“Here, put your name and cell number in my phone and I will let you know and you can be my guest.”

“Wow that would be great.”

He insists on paying the check for knocking me down.

“Thanks so much.”

“My pleasure.”

Lesley is star-struck.

“Goodbye Mr. Bacon!” he says, gulping his words.

“Call me Kevin.”

                                                                                                                                                                 The End