Memory recipe #1: A Call

A potentially dubiously perfect recipe for trying to figure out what it is that you forgotten yet again

two cups of focus

one cup of frenetic energy or motivation

one tablespoon of “Christ please help me because I really really have work to do and I want to figure out what in the world’s going on so Holy Spirit please make my memory actually do its job for thank you

two cups of pacing

half a cup of checking in with Holy Spirit again on that whole memory business

five cups of doing random things until something clicks

Except no, it didn’t click. What happened was pacing for a while and then I just decided to go do a bunch of other things instead - drawing, reading, playing my ukulele, singing, watching TV - and all while knowing what I needed to do I still hadn’t remembered yet. However I am not known for being someone who quickly remembers things thus I decided today is a good day to be okay with. I went and simply dilly-dallied about my day and figured I would remember later as usual. Immediately after deciding my mind was no longer my problem I got a phone call phone. I checked the caller ID and saw “Emery”. Upon pressing the call button to pick up I hear a delightful yet obviously very pissed familiar voice

“Okay so don’t get mad but I’m about to vent for a very long time”

“darn let me check my calendar. Yeah! Go ahead! Enjoy! I’m doing nothing except struggling to remember something so go forward”

“Okay so Brian was on some foolishness yet again”

“Oh do tell”

“Well I reminded him he didn’t do anything for my birthday and he just sort of like went oh right sorry my bad and shrugged and then carried on back to what he was doing. Probably work but I don’t care. So I’m obviously just standing there waiting for a different reaction he doesn’t say anything.”

“ooh is this a bout’-to-break-up discussion?”

“I didn’t break up with him don’t worry. I know who I’m dating. I’m not breaking up with him. So what happened was I clicked my tongue very loudly so he knew I was mad and I said hello with folded by arms and that head motion that you always used to hate -

“No, no I still hate it. I just realized that if being friends with you means dealing with irritating facial expressions then okay”

“Let me finish. So I did the thing: head move, arms folded, clicked tongue. No response. So I held my hand in front of his laptop and I start waving it and then he looks at me of course and says ‘yeah I get that you’re mad but right now I really do have to get back to work. Can we please talk about this later? Around dinner?’ and I said Dinner?! The dinner you’re going to be too busy working through to even eat with me again?! And he starts with his ‘okay that’s not fair, you said it was fine’ and then I’m there like ‘I said it was fine but that was then and we’ve been married for a year now it’s not still fine and wasn’t then either and you’re still doing it that’s not fine and you missed my birthday and it wasn’t even for work so that’s not even relevant to us now’ and he of course started getting denfensive and like ‘okay look and then he just sort of like stutters for a minute and then he looks like me as computer he starts like tapping every now and then a little back to me and then I say hey and I shot the computer and he looks like I just threw water on him and he genuinely know something and I said yeah and so was I my marriage oh dang no fighting words ooh should I be concerned the time out of time out should I be concerned about this conversation should I be getting my Bible she’ll be getting me bear should be getting a cup of coffee what’s happening where we going don’t worry don’t worry we’re good kind of at least but I just had to vent of course of course please do do of course thank you at least someone I’m lovely out loud he still doesn’t no no he’s quiet to a compliments oh geez no no continue I don’t want to stop you oh right yes so he’s looking like he just got tased just goes okay okay you like shake some stuff off I guess and then he finally Dangs to give me his apparently too high for my status attention and says okay all right I am sorry I forgot your birthday it was I really hadn’t fully but then right before it happened I did I had a plan I promise you I had to plan it just didn’t quite launch when it needed to launch this is not a business meeting use regular words I am no you’re using your work words you’re still in work mode get off work mode I’m literally working right now no right now you’re deciding whether or not you want to still have a life oh oh that’s where we’re going yes and then where we’ve been going since what is going on here when you got the promotion I did not expect this out of it and then he’s like all right all right all right I’m not going to take that any harder than I need to you love me I love you we both know that I’m not even going to confirm if that’s true or not I know who I married but I get that you need some reminders more than I thought who you married and I’m not saying that to be rude or anything and it’s like no no no okay you know I get it I get it it’s me I get it carry on and then girl he let out the biggest I ever leave I’ve ever seen oh I can only imagine all right you need to continue continue talking about like what he plan to grow he planned alike like failing ride for me nice oh no that means you didn’t get cute sailing ride and that’s not all after dinner and breakfast at that one booster I like that’s like kind of french Paris theme but you know his these United States of America I know so you know French American trying to make friends look Chic whatever I like it they have really good creeps not the point Crepes aren’t those no no no move on move on yeah so anyway he goes on this thing correctly about all the stuff he was going to do and I was like okay Mr Prince Charming Mr I knew everything why didn’t you do it then what happened I was like and then he’s like oh I’m really sorry I got really thrown off by like the sudden emergency thing going on at work and then I forgot to like set up the confirmation for the sail ride and was trying to get that set up I forgot I had to like not double checked on my face and it turns out I only thought I’d set it up but I hadn’t I just like scheduled to and then okay but like the restaurant yeah the restaurant they had they’re close that day for renovations and I just hadn’t checked that soon enough so even though I made a reservation for the Bristow you like they hadn’t told me that they shifted me over by a day automatically without telling me even though I like they like confronted me at this point I just feel kind of bad cuz like all right it’s not like you did nothing and yeah he did on the day for your birthday but like he didn’t tell me none of this like I wasn’t with being mad was I well I mean I get it I really do get it and I’m not even saying you had no right to be upset it but but it seems like both nope it’s seems like I’m staying my own business it seems like the situation was okay just a dash of this a dash of that and ended up being 15 dashes of things we need to discuss far sooner than now just blowing up itself into the recipe yeah like this is one of those it was actually a deal just not a big biggest of deals and it became a big deal because of the other big deal that wasn’t handled before the deal with the deal I’m not saying the birthday thing girl okay I’m going to level with you I don’t personally think I would care if my own husband forgot either I have to remember yeah in fact we we both know I’m not exactly the like typical wife for whoever gets me I’m going to have to be reminded anniversary of matter birthdays yeah anniversaries we’ll see but yeah like Steph gets busy and you you know how my memory stuff is like oh it’s it’s I love you I love you more my sisters but like girl you brought up the discussion about someone forget something I’m sorry but the bowl was not in your court on this one I I too much know exactly what he’s dealing with really but like and it would have been real cool if he got all that handled in time you don’t have to say don’t you of course I know it’s about to say yeah it’s fine let it go blah blah I mean yeah I am like why did you get mad what do you mean like you forgot yeah yeah he did forget but why did you choose to get mad but I’m forgetting because he forgot no no I heard you the first time but why did you get mad like really what what made you mad all right like if he cared since he cares about me he should care enough to care about celebrating with me on the days we’ve agreed to celebrate each other and did you guys actually agree to celebrate birthdays we’ve been doing birthday for like ever you know this okay okay fair fair I’m just picking his drive from that one okay okay fair there’s agreement everyone was not meant all right fair fair but really forget your birthday he didn’t do nothing for you yes but that’s the same thing hold on does that mean that every single time y’all been dating he always did a thing or give you a present yeah are you sure yes I am sure I wouldn’t have stayed with the baby didn’t oh really but was he just busy all the time he was last year and we’re going to even married yet we were handling engagement stuff still he got me a present well yes but Hun he was handling engagement stuff of course he got you a present he was constantly having to think about you cuz he was calling everything about the facts that you probably were calling him about the color of the napkins I was but like he was one leading the napkins okay now see now all you’re doing is for me right he just had a unintensive year I think that’s where I’m leaning on this one don’t get me wrong again again I get it and I know no one really likes to hear it but like I think even if the creator of the Cross most wasn’t saying Let It Go literally all the time every day to me and everyone who chose to stop pretending he wasn’t still tell you babe let this one go I get it really I do but like an attempt with indeed made somewhere you didn’t see it which is going to happen a lot in life not marriage but like. With other human beings could be there in your presence no I know I know I know I know I got let it go I just wanted to get off my chest first oh okay okay great you forget did you remember what you forgot I’m single girl you’re fine you’re totally fine I know I’m fine I just no I don’t remember that’s that’s so you hey don’t curse me with that okay sorry I forgot sorry sorry you will always have great memories that’s my girl that’s my girl all right I’m going to let you go remember that no wait no I am bored and entertain me no ma’am you are insatiable I’m going to go now I have a husband to go and deal with ooh don’t give me any more details than that girl don’t be you know I’m not Chris carry on love you bye sweetie bye

I hung up the call and immediately remembered what I had forgotten: I needed to plan out what I was doing for my birthday in two weeks.

5 cups of a random phone call with you former college roommate