a long awaited love

They met in high school but never were very close to one another. They shared a class or two, were in some of the same friend groups, and often even sat near each due to alphabetical seating assignments, but they rarely spoke. He had always thought she was somehow different than the other girls their age. She had a quietness about her, despite her affableness and easy-going persona; she did not ask for anyone’s attention - in fact, she tried her best to avoid the spotlight - but she certainly had his. She was friendly enough and had friends around school, but was particularly guarded with her emotions and found it difficult to become authentically close to anyone. She saw him as someone similar to herself; yes he was a teenage boy but he differed from the norm as he was a genuinely kind human, and did not fall in to the typical immature actions that many teenagers do. 

Graduation passed with them never really becoming close. A few conversations over Facebook got them to consider each other friends; they even hung out a few times, including a fishing date one summer. But once they left for college, the conversations and time together were few and far between. He pursued his bachelor’s degree and prepared for his Air Force career over the next four years. After a couple of years in college, she dropped out and began working to save money to hopefully return to finish her degree later on. They thought of each other often throughout these years apart, and often regretted not pursuing one another. Yet neither were bold enough to make the effort still. In his last year of school and her with a couple years in the workforce under her belt, they reconnected and spent some time together when he was home from school. A multitude of movie dates over the summer but yet neither of them were brave enough to ask the other what they had wanted to ask since high school. It wasn’t until the following fall, after he had graduated and was close to being sent on his first assignment with the air force that he got up his nerve - it was now or never. He left for Texas in a matter of months and knew if he did not act, the two of them would never have the chance to grow close.

The two of them hit a point where they were both willing to take the dive into the unknown world of love and companionship. After a late night phone conversation, they agreed to give their relationship a shot. Neither of them had been in a serious long-term relationship before, and at least for her, the prospect of opening up to someone and sharing her emotions was terrifying. While he was admittedly nervous about the whole thing, he really was only apprehensive of losing her. He knew that while she was a strong woman outwardly, who could support herself and take care of her own business, that she was internally and emotionally delicate. He took it slowly with her, always careful not to push her or do anything that might cause her to flea. The first couple of months while slightly awkward for her, gave them the time to become best friends and grow closer. By the time the holidays came around, although she was reluctant to admit it, she knew she loved him. Neither had ever admitted love for anyone before each other. She knew he was unlikely to be the first to admit that he loved her because she knew that he did not want to scare her off. She had noticed him holding off on progressing too fast as to not freak her out; she knew she would have to take the next step. Too timid to say it at first, she had a classic, plain leather bracelet engraved for him with the words “I love you” on the inside that she planned to give him for Christmas. They drove to Washington DC late on Christmas Eve, around midnight, for a late-night stroll around the historical city. It was quiet, the air was crisp and cold, and few people remained on the Mall. They spent a long time in each others’ arms, sitting on the steps of the fountains of the World War II memorial with the Washington Monument in the distance. They later sat in the car awhile, talking and exchanging gifts. She saved the bracelet for last, as she was still unsure she would even go through with giving it to him; she had tucked it away in the storage pocket on her car door in case she chickened out at the last minute. She eventually decided to give him the gift, and watched grimacing, almost embarrassed of her feelings, as he opened the box. The smile on his face was the happiest she had seen him, and when he told her he loved her too, it made the coldness of the night seem not quite as frigid. 

Over their last month together before he left for his first assignment with the Air Force, they did a lot together. From holiday light shows to movie nights, to nearly getting arrested together, a New Years firework show on the Potomac, ferris wheels, bowling nights, and watching stand-up comedy together, they spent as much time together as they could. The day he left, they got breakfast and spent a normal morning together with the inevitable of course, always in their minds. He dropped her off at her house and with a simple goodbye, he was gone. They had planned to see each other as often as possible with the goal being once every month or so. She flew to Texas in February for Valentines day and spent the weekend with him. She shed a few tears when she left him at the airport a few days later, but they both knew they would see each other again soon. They had every reason to believe that they would see each other the following month, and were already making plans for her to fly to see him in March. Neither of them could have guessed that a pandemic would stop the world in its tracks, and change how people go about daily life for an unknowable amount of time. After the swell of disappointment they felt, and the uncertainty of when they would be able to safely see each other again, came understanding and acceptance. They continue to progress their love as much as they can over text and daily video chats, as many long-distance couples are during this time. While some days are harder than others, they both consider themselves fortunate in a time of intense uncertainty. He is preparing to get a new assignment and get stationed at another base, while she is adjusting to decreased work hours and adapting to the new normal. 

Often, she daydreams of the day they get to be in each others’ arms again. She dreams of taking a flight to the next city he gets stationed in, filled with anticipation and excitement after all of their time apart. Thoughts race through her head, trying to remember what it feels like to be held tight to his chest, the feeling of when their lips meet, or when he picks her up and holds her in his arms. For reasons she cannot explain, she gets nervous to see him again. After departing the plane and going through security, she heads toward the airport’s exit. She goes through the automatic sliding door to the outside pickup area. She scans the people stopped on the side of the road, picking up their loved ones. She looks further down the walkway until her eyes find him standing there next to his car, looking right at her, and smiling.