“I wish this could just be a normal Christmas,” 26-year old David said. He was upstairs in the home he lived in alone. Usually, he wouldn’t choose to be in this particular upstairs room, since he spent most of his time downstairs where the kitchen and his bedroom were. But he found himself up there, peering out onto the rest of his neighborhood through the frosty window, after another monotonous day of work. He had been distracted all day, wondering how to amend things with his girlfriend.
All of a sudden, the old creepy fireplace started to creak. The wind blew like an angry whisper down the unused chimney, blowing ash and dust across the floor. David cringed, wondering what assortment of things could’ve been burned last in the fireplace, and stepped back. He had moved into this house about a month ago, because it had been one of the cheapest on the market. Now he knew why it had been a steal; it had a fireplace that emitted things it shouldn’t, such as wind and sounds, even though he didn’t use it. No fire had been built in it since he moved in. Recently, as Christmas got closer, the room with the fireplace made more and more noise- all on its own.
He squinted as the wind coming down the chimney came whooshing down with more force; he looked out of the nearest window, but realized the trees weren’t blowing like he thought they’d be. There were names engraved in the brick of the fireplace, names of people who had been there before David moved in, and suddenly glowed blue for a second, like an iridescent wave. Then, in the dimness of the room, something dark and solid fell down the chimney and thumped into the ashes.
“Whoa-!” David leapt back and coughed from the dust.
A small figure also coughing, stood and brushed itself off.
“What the hell are you?!” David widened his eyes and almost tripped on a corner of a dusty rug laying in front of the fireplace.
“I’m Archy,” said a masculine, tenor voice. “I’m an elf from the North Pool, for goodness sakes. A resigned elf, actually.” Archy wasn’t more than four-and-a-half feet tall. He had slight crows feet and worry lines forming on his olive skin and blue eyes. His puffy black coat was muddy gray jeans, black combat boots, and a snowflake-patterned beanie.
“You sounded like you wanted company, so here I am!”
“No, I didn't want company. I was perfectly fine alone.”
“Be careful what you wish for then, dummy.” Archy waved his hands at David in a slightly annoyed manner. “Everyone is confused when they first meet me, you aren’t the first.”
David rubbed his eyes. “I wished you here?”
The short man, who called himself an elf, crossed his arms. “Yeah, from your big mouth it sounded more like a complaint than a wish though.”
David threw his hands in the air. “How do I wish you away then?”
“Are you drunk? You’re acting like you weren’t expecting me. Pull yourself together man, and clean this place up sometime would you? The dust is going to make my allergies act up.”
“No, I’m not drunk… at least not currently. And this room is weird, so I don’t come up here much. No point in cleaning it.”
“People nowadays are so desensitized by the supernatural. Listen, buddy, you gotta open your mind.”
“Supernatural? What did Mr. Santa do you? You’re pretty emo-looking for a Christmas elf.”
Archy looked at the ceiling thoughtfully, then walked away from David and down the stairs. “Have you ever wondered why we drown our sorrows in alcohol anyway? It tastes awful.”
“Great, he’s an alcoholic elf, too. Now I understand why the universe sent him to me. Merry frickin’ Christmas,” David muttered. He hesitated, then followed Archy down to the first floor. “Hey, where are you going?”
“If you really want me to leave, then get me a beer.”
David met him at the foot of the stairs. “Are you for real?”
“No, but I’ll give you some space for a few minutes while I drink it. I need time to think things over anyway.”
David groaned. “Look, Archy, whoever you are. How do I make you go away permanently?”
“David, my man. I’m still waiting for my beer. Plus, you should be more worried about exterminating the ghost, not me.”
David groaned. “Fine. I’ll only be gone for a second. This night has been exciting enough.” He went to the kitchen and returned with a Corona.
Archy cracked it open and took a long sip. “Listen, you need to stop sighing and rolling your eyes at me. Supernatural stuff like this is nothing to be taken lightly. You have a ghost in this residence, afterall.”
“Thanks for stating the obvious. Now I’m not the only crazy one for thinking my house is haunted.” David rubbed his eyes more and ran his fingers through his hair.
Archy took another gulp of beer and shook a finger up at him. “But do you know who the ghost is?”
“It must be one of those names listed on the fireplace?”
“Bingo. You might have noticed the name Jim?” He was the leader of a gang who used this place as their home base. He was into some Satanic stuff in order to remain the most powerful in his group. This is why you’ve probably experienced more odd activity coming from that fireplace lately. The man of the ghost died about this time of year. He acts up, not only because he’s vengeful, but because Christmas is a season of joy and goodness. All the joy in the air sort of irritates him. ”
“Satanic stuff? Where does the warm and fuzzy Christmas magic come in?”
“Christmas doesn’t make evil just disappear, you know.”
David cleared his throat. “Anyway, a gang? I heard rumors of a gang who used to go around this town, but they don’t exist anymore.”
“You’re right, they aren’t an organized gang anymore. The remaining members are scattered all over the place, in surrounding towns and cities.’ Archy lowered his voice. “But the leader’s spirit still lingers here, because he ventured too far into the darkside to return. And it’s going to mess with your quality of life unless you open your mind a little and let me help.”
“I lied to you, buddy- I mean David. I’m not a resigned Christmas elf. I’m a Christmas elf currently on Santa’s payroll. He sure doesn’t pay me enough though. My job is to deal with grown-ups like you who aren’t quite on the nice list, but not quite on the naughty list either. So, in other words, average people. ”
“Gotcha. So it’s not just my girlfriend who thinks I’m average and predictable.”
“Well, you gotta admit your life just got a lot more interesting.”
David just scoffed.
Archy drop kicked his beer can, splattering remaining beer droplets across the floor. “Santa told me about your Leena. She has her own issues.”
“Okay, that’s enough.” David threw up his hands again. “I don’t want relationship advice from some deranged elf. I’m not as stupid as you think I am. Santa, magic, and the paranormal can’t exist. Why did you really come? To rob or murder me? Because you sure are taking your sweet time.”
“I think it’s time you go outside and give me space to work out this ghost situation.”
“This is crazy, this is my house. You get out.”
David pointed at the door and started to step towards Archy, but the elf’s hand glowed blue and he waved it in the air as if to protect himself.
David blinked, and when he opened his eyes he was cold. Snowflakes landed on his face, and he blinked his eyes in confusion. He had appeared outside.
David stood on the snowy street of his house, hands in his pockets, not wanting to go back inside. His canvas coat was hanging up just inside the entryway and the faded jeans he currently had on weren’t very insulating. The eerie blue light flooded down from the upstairs room to the left where that weird fireplace was. But where else would he sleep tonight while this freak of an elf was taking over his house? The chances of Leena letting him crash on her couch and gather his thoughts were low. The last discussion he had with her circled around him inviting her over, but she had lashed out about the idea of staying at his place. Maybe she sensed that something was off about his house too. Maybe there really was paranormal activity in his house. He wondered why she was so adamant about avoiding talking about why she felt that way.
Headlights of a small SUV pulling to the side of the street made him blink more. It was her.
Leena got out of the car and attempted a smile. “So, we finally got some nice snow.”
David forced himself to look happy to see her, and not concerned about what was going on in the upstairs room of his house. “I really hate the snow, actually.”
“Oh.” She loosened her scarf around her neck. “Why are you outside? Did you see me coming?”
“Yeah, yeah. I was actually looking for you and was relieved when you pulled up. It’s good to see you.”
“Should we walk to a restaurant or something? I want to talk to you about something.”
“Sure, babe. I can go inside and get my keys real quick so you can stay warm and not worry about driving.”
"Oh, no thanks.” Leena chuckled nervously. “It kinda smells like you’ve been drinking again.”
The beer from the can Archy had kicked had probably spilled on him. But that was a long story, and he needed to get her away from his house as soon as possible.
“Yeah, to be honest I’ve been drinking a little. I’m willing to work on it, though.”
“Right.” There was doubt behind her eyes. “How about I drive?”
David nodded and got in the passenger seat.
As they pulled away from his house, David noticed flashes of blue light in the rearview mirror. He tried to look forward at the road so Leena wouldn’t ask what he was looking at. They drove downtown but Leena kept driving, passing where a plethora of restaurants were. As David peered out his window, contemplating what to say next, they passed an antique store with a mechanical Santa in the window. The shop was closed, but David saw the fake Santa track him with his beady eyes as they slowly drove past. He even swore he saw Santa drop the rusty bell he was holding. As if this night could get any stranger.
“So, where are we going?” he asked, a little too loudly, jerking his head away from the antique store.
“Um, why? Do you have somewhere specific in mind? Sorry, I just need to clear my head. I’m not really sure where I’m going.”
“I’ve just been worried about what went wrong between us. I don’t understand why you’re so against staying at my house. I mean, I won’t force you or anything. I would appreciate it if you’d just tell me why.”
Leena pulled the car over. The moonlight reflected off of her tears and her silver necklace against her brown skin.
“Babe, are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?” David gently touched her hand. “I only want to understand.”
“My ex-husband died in that house.”
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
6 comments
Quirky, festive, and unexpectedly hilarious—pure joy!
Reply
I appreciate it!
Reply
A wise little elf! 'Supernatural stuff like this is nothing to be taken lightly. ' Thanks!
Reply
Thank you!
Reply
I love the tone in this tale, namely David’s reticence towards the elf: “How do I wish you away then?” then: “I don’t want relationship advice from some deranged elf” 😂 I was therefore NOT expecting the twist in the last sentence - Great work!
Reply
Thank you, I appreciate it! I was trying my best to imagine what I'd say if I was in David’s shoes.
Reply