Itch

The computer chair creaked with the amount of weight thrown at it. Ria felt her breathing escalate the moment her eyes fixated on her desktop screen, the number of tasks laid in front of her sprawled messily all over her screen. She leaned back and scratched at her arms trying to scratch a ghostly itch, trying to relieve her pent up stress and frustration from her workload.

“Ria, dinner” her scratching only escalated aggressively, reopening up healing scratch marks. irritated that her train of thought was interrupted, she opted for a short nod trying to let the familiar presence that he clearly, wasn’t welcomed.

“Are you gonna torture yourself again?” he clearly did not plan on leaving without her. She didn’t need this right now. Ria felt her arm snatched in a firm grip, halting her torturous scratching.

“What are you doing to yourself, Ria!? You’re opening up your wounds again! Do you really not want to get better?!” Dean stared down at her red and scarred arms, she didn’t even notice how he got in front of her quickly. She saw guilt flash in his eyes.

“Please, leave me for a while, I’ll eat dinner after I finish this.” she snatched her arm away from him and grabbed her phone, running off to her room. She didn’t hear him follow her. They both knew they needed to cool off.

Ria tried doing her breathing exercises despite the tightness and stinging in her chest. He didn’t understand her, they needed the money, and sacrifices are made, and this was hers.

Ria looked around the cramped room that’s supposed to be theirs, it was barely enough, she needed the money, they needed the money, Dean’s job isn’t enough, and hopefully, after all of this, they could help make ends meet.

~

In the dead of night light footsteps echoed throughout the still living room. Ria frowned when she saw Dean sleeping on the sofa, guilt washed over her, with nothing but the reminder of promising ways to make ends meet motivated Ria to continue her steps to the cramped living room where the rest of her materials laid.

Opening up her desktop she got to work.

Light and swift tapping softly echoed the bland cracked walls, music blaring through her cheap headsets to help drown the deafening silence, minutes ticking by and with every letter, her fingers pressed down on only increased in speed and intensity, her eyes laser-focused on the graphic characters and changing colors on her screen.

While her hands moved from memory, Her mind raced with the necessities she would be able to help provide for their life to be easier, things she would buy with the large promised prize money.

Ria froze when the screen flashed ‘Winner’ in bold, blinding light.

Feeling her shoulders lighten with hope and problems close to being answered, adrenaline coursed through her and she zipped through the payout link the site provided.

Then, it was over with a snap when the link crashed.

Disbelief and denial bubble through her when she tried to work around the encountered problem. She felt her breathing hitch and eyes get blurry; reality slowly dawned on her when she couldn’t find a way around her problem.

Tears trickled down her cheeks and arms itch. Finally giving up she silently cried and rubbed her itching arms.

Dean watched her cry to herself and rub at her arms, her desktop screen showing black. He quietly fetched a warm rag and petroleum jelly in hopes to help her state. He let his presence known first in order to not scare her.

Ria stared at him with a frown but held her arms out when he asked for them.

“So this is why you’ve been distant and snappy these days” he casually brought up, wiping her arms with care.

“If you mean trying to earn money, yes” Ria watched him with curiosity, tears no longer falling.

“I know that, and I know you’re trying to help make ends meet Ria.

But it doesn’t have to be you ignoring me and your health.”

“I’m trying to speed up the process.”

“And you’re destroying yourself as well,” Dean stared at her like she’s grown a second head before he gently rubbed petroleum jelly around her growing wounds.

“You’re skipping meals, you’re barely sleeping, you won’t even talk much, just staring at the screen of your computer, I can’t help but think you love that thing than me” he joked.

“These things shouldn’t be rushed, you tend to be impatient about making something happen, which just backfires on you, Ria” Dean was always patient and understanding.

He understood how she was feeling living the way they are now, he tried to understand her the best he could when she would get this obsessed and impatient about something going her way. He tries to be a good partner and help her in his own way.

Ria knows that she’s more than thankful to have someone like him, which would only fuel her drive to help financially.

“Well, I can’t just do nothing, Dean.”

“you’re not doing “nothing”, Ri, just coming home to you healthy and happy would be enough, being with you would be enough for me,” he wrapped up her wounds.

“Didn’t you mention before, that we would be alright as long as we have each other and comfortable, we’d be perfect.” he reminded her.

She remembered hoe they were happy before their luck struck low and, their savings slowly spent like the drought drying up the river.

“We have each other. Is that not enough?” he almost was afraid to ask, he knew life wasn’t easy lately, especially in what state their country was in. but he hoped this didn’t change her feelings that drastically.

Dean looked up and searched her eyes for answers, a pregnant pause surrounded them for that brief moment of search.

Dean looked away.

What he saw were answers enough.

The rest of the night was silent and still.