The Search

The Search

When he returned from the congregation, he was very excited. He thought that he had finally found his mission in life. “Are you there, God? It is me, and I will find you," he said. If others in the past, and some even in the present time, could find Him, he would also do so. The day’s speaker had said---and the sacred books also told --- that once you had seen Him, you were in perpetual bliss, perpetual ananda. He reverentially took out His picture from its frame and holding it in his hand approached his neighbors.

“Have you seen Him? I know He should be around here, but I do not know exactly where.”

The neighbors looked carefully at the picture but said no, they had not seen Him.

He then went to the teachers in the town, for he had heard that teachers know everything and everybody.

“Sir, can you help me? I am desperate to find Him, but no one seems to have seen Him, or to know His whereabouts.”

The teachers also looked carefully at the picture but shook their heads; they also could not help him. They all said that they had heard of Him, but did not know where to find Him.

He was surprised. His faith in the omniscience of teachers was shaken. He then tried all wise men, all sages, and all holy men in the town whom he could approach but none was able to help him.

He then turned back to the sacred books of his religion. He found that many holy men in the past who had found Him had left the cities and gone to the Himalayas and had done severe penance before they found Him. That's it, he thought; I am searching for him in the comforts of city life and that is why I am still searching.

 He left for the Himalayas. He left the towns and villages behind him, and braving the biting cold at the higher altitudes, he ultimately found a cave that was commodious enough for a man to live in and also afforded some protection from the cold winds.

“Ah, this is it. I will stay here and seek. This is how those whom the scriptures talk about found Him.” he said.

He spent many years there, drinking water from a stream flowing nearby, and eating fruit and berries which were abundant there. He grew lean and his hair and his beard grew long. But he still had not found the One whom he was seeking.

Then one day when he was sitting near the stream, he saw a holy man with an ash-smeared body and matted locks.

“What are you doing here, son? This is no place except for those like us who have abandoned the world, or whom the world has abandoned. “Said the holy man.

The kind words of the holy man, and the love in his eyes, brought tears to his eyes.

‘”Sir, I have not abandoned the world, nor has the world abandoned me.” He took out the picture he always had with him and showed it to the holy man.” I am looking for Him. I have not found Him in the cities, but I read in the scriptures that He could be found in the Himalayas and so I have come here.”

The holy man looked at the picture and smiled.

“If you have not found Him here in all the years you have spent in this cave, you will only be wasting your time. You should go back to the plains, and on the bank of the holy Ganga River you may meet a Guru who will tell you how to find him.'"

“Sir, where exactly will I meet this exalted Guru? Ganga is a long river.”

The holy man, however, did not reply. He just smiled and walked away.

He was dismayed. Why didn’t the holy man tell him where to find this Guru. But one thing was clear; there was no point in continuing in the mountains.

He made his way down to the plains. He trudged along the bank of river Ganga, passing and stopping at many towns and villages, meeting saints, holy men, wise men of all persuasions but none could help him. Nor did he find the Guru who the holy man in the Himalayas had said he would meet.

His body was by now weary and his spirit broken. Perhaps I am just not destined to find him, he thought. As he went to sleep he decided that when he woke up in the morning he would go home and lead an ordinary life. After all, he thought, most people lead lives without having seen or found Him and still they appear quite happy.

It was already dusk when he reached home. He avoided people; he did not wish to meet anyone. They would laugh at his failure, he thought, at the futile search he had embarked upon. He quietly entered his home and when the night came he went to sleep, surrendering himself to God's will.

Suddenly, he heard a voice:

“Child, look carefully at the picture and you will find Him.”

He woke up with a start. Was it in a dream that he had heard these words? Or had someone entered his room and spoken?

He could see no one in the room. He looked out from his window; it was still night and a crescent moon was adorning the sky. But nowhere could he see the one who had spoken those words.

He tried to recall the exact words. Yes, "look at the picture carefully and you will find Him", were the exact words. How can someone be found in a picture? He thought; perhaps it is his subconscious that had started playing tricks now. Am I turning insane? Is that how my search going to end? All the same, with a trembling hand he took out the picture from under his pillow and looked at it once again. This time he looked very carefully. He was amazed to find that it was his own picture. In a flash, he realized that the One he had been searching for was none other than he himself. The Seeker and the Sought were the same; they have always been the same; only he had not seen it so far. And thus ended his search.