Derek and Maya

On a dreary Wednesday afternoon, the rain fell incessantly, casting a gray veil over the small town of Everwood. It was the kind of day that made you want to stay tucked in bed, surrounded by warm blankets. But at the Everwood High library, Maya Sinclair sat at a wooden table, nervously biting her nails as she waited for Derek, the boy who had captivated her heart since freshman year.

Maya had watched him from afar, admiring his easy smile and the way he effortlessly drew people in. They shared a few classes, exchanged casual glances, and even laughed at the same jokes. But for Maya, that was more than enough; her heart had built entire castles on those brief exchanges. However, it seemed that in Derek’s eyes, she remained just a quiet girl who blended into the background.

That day was different, though. Maya had mustered all her courage to ask him to join her for coffee after school. She practiced her words repeatedly in the mirror that morning, wishing desperately for a chance to tell him how she felt.

When the clock struck three, she caught sight of him sauntering through the library doors, shaking droplets of rain off his dark curls. He spotted her immediately and brightened, a warm smile gracing his face. “Hey, Maya!”

“Hi, Derek!” she replied, heart racing. She motioned for him to sit as he pulled out a chair.

“Thanks for inviting me. What’s up? You seemed kind of nervous in class today,” he said, leaning in with genuine curiosity.

Maya chuckled weakly, her palms clammy. “Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous. There’s something I want to tell you.”

Derek studied her intently. “Okay, shoot. I’m all ears.”

The words danced on the tip of her tongue, but they remained trapped in a cage of doubt. Instead, she managed to say, “I really enjoy hanging out with you. You make me laugh.”

A flicker of joy crossed his face. “Thanks, Maya. I like hanging out with you, too.”

The conversation continued, but as they spoke about school projects and music, Maya realized their usual light-hearted banter didn’t hold the same weight today. She could sense the clock ticking down the minutes to her confession, the pounding of her heart echoing in her ears.

Finally, she took a deep breath. “Derek, I—”

Before she could finish, his phone buzzed aggressively in his pocket. He pulled it out, expression changing from warm to serious. “Sorry, I just need to take this,” he said, stepping away to answer the call.

Maya watched him, her heart sinking. She glanced out the window, watching the rain cascade down the glass, each droplet mirrored her dwindling hope. When he returned a few moments later, he looked unsettled.

“Sorry about that. My mom needs me to come home. There’s been an emergency with my little sister.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his voice. “I wish I could stay longer.”

“Oh, of course,” Maya replied, forcing a smile even as disappointment gnawed at her. “Family comes first.”

They spent the next few minutes talking about his sister, a bittersweet distraction. Maya tried to suppress her feelings, but the words she’d rehearsed felt heavier. As he made to leave, she knew this was her last chance.

“Derek, wait!” she called out, her voice a little louder within the hushed library.

He stopped and turned back, concern lining his features. “Yeah?”

“I really need to tell you something important.”

He stepped closer, tilting his head. “What is it?”

Maya’s heart raced, fear tightening its grip. “I… I like you, Derek. Like, really like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”

For a brief moment, silence enveloped them. His eyes widened, and she saw a myriad of emotions flickering across his face—surprise, confusion, and then a shadow of something darker.

“I… I don’t understand,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Maya's heart dropped. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… I didn’t realize you felt that way.” He took a step back, running a hand through his hair again, a nervous gesture that only heightened her anxiety.

“I know we haven’t talked much, but—”

“It’s not that,” he interrupted. “It’s just… I didn’t think you were interested in me like that. I’m sorry, but… I’ve been seeing someone.”

Maya’s world tilted. “You’re seeing someone? Since when?”

“Since a few weeks ago,” he admitted, avoiding her gaze as if the words physically pained him. “It’s complicated…”

“Complicated?” she echoed, feeling the sting of tears welling in her eyes. “Complicated how? You didn’t even tell me!”

“I didn’t think it would be serious,” he replied, frustration morphing his features. “I was just trying to figure things out. Honestly, it’s not that simple, Maya.”

“But why didn’t you try? I thought we had something!” Desperation clawed at her throat.

“I thought we did too! Maybe we do… I don’t know,” he said, desperation mingling with confusion. “But I can’t just drop everything because of some feelings. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

With that, he turned abruptly, rushing toward the library entrance, leaving Maya standing there, feeling hollow and heartbroken.

Over the next few weeks, the weight of unspoken words and tangled feelings sat heavily between them. They passed each other in the halls, Derek’s eyes glinting with a mixture of regret and guilt, an invisible chasm widening with every awkward moment.

Maya found solace in her friends, but nothing could fill the void Derek had left in her heart. Late at night, she penned letters she never sent, pouring out her feelings, her confusion, and her longing. Each letter ended with the same line: “I don’t understand.”

The fifth letter was different. She poured every ounce of emotion—sadness, anger, frustration—until she felt empty but liberated. She spilled her heart onto the paper like an artist who had finally let go of their last brushstroke. Instead of sending it, she folded it carefully and tucked it into her journal, a testament to a love that felt unrequited and unfair.

As the days turned into weeks, things shifted at school. Maya saw Derek in the hallways, but his gaze often lingered on his new girlfriend, Lucy. They shared laughter and whispered secrets that felt like daggers in Maya’s heart.

One rainy afternoon, drawn by hurt and curiosity, she found herself in the park where she used to daydream about him. The sky was a mirror of her emotions—overcast and heavy with unspoken words.

“Maya?”

She turned at the sound of his voice, her breath catching in her throat. Derek approached her cautiously, his expression earnest. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” she asked, trying to maintain the wall around her heart.

“About us. About everything,” he said, stepping closer. “I’ve been thinking, and I don’t want you to feel this way. I never meant to make things complicated.”

“Complicated? You mean when you chose to date someone else instead of… well, us?” Her annoyance threaded through her sadness.

“Maya, please,” he begged, his voice softening. “I care about you, more than I realized. In all this mess, I kept returning to you in my mind. I don’t want to lose you.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?” She felt her insides twist. “You could have talked to me, but you didn’t.”

“I was scared, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone—least of all you,” he admitted, hopelessness glinting in his eyes. “I thought I could make it work with Lucy, but it’s just not the same. It feels forced. With you, it’s...” His voice trailed off, searching for the right words.

Maya’s heart raced, balancing on the fine line between hope and hurt. “What do you really want, Derek?”

“To be honest,” he said, stepping closer. “I want to be with you. I don’t want to keep pretending that Lucy is what I want. I realize that now.”

The rain fell softly around them, and for a moment, the world faded, leaving only Derek’s earnest gaze filled with longing.

But doubt, like a stubborn shadow, crept in. “You can’t just decide that after everything. I don’t understand how I can trust you now.”

He reached for her hand, his touch sending a jolt of warmth through her. “I’m asking you to give me another chance—to start over. I know I messed up, but I’m willing to fight for us.”

Maya pulled her hand away, her heart torn. “And what if you don’t come back again once the spark fades? What if I just end up heartbroken again?”

“I can’t promise it will be perfect,” he admitted, his voice earnest, “but I want to try. Just let me show you.”

As the rain poured harder, washing away her tears, Maya faced a choice. In her heart, hope flickered, battling against the winds of doubt. She searched Derek’s eyes, seeking a glimmer of truth amidst the uncertainty.

After what felt like an eternity, she whispered, “Okay, I’ll give you a chance. But I need time. I need to know I can trust you.”

Derek nodded slowly, relief flooding his features, and in that moment, Maya felt an old warmth return, an ember she'd thought extinguished. But in the back of her mind lingered the words she could never shake off, always tucked away like the letters she’d written: “I don’t understand.”

And perhaps love was as complicated as that.