Introvert!

‘Tick Tock Tick Tock…,’ the clock whispers, slowly counting down; tender sweet melodies of the pendulum disrupting the grave silence that has enveloped space. Breeze swaying the frays of majestic cottons adorning the walls, light wind rustling the papers carefully arranged on the table, as ancient frail looking fan diligently cools the room, blowing air. You passively sit, hands akimbo, reflecting on how the day sped by as though it never began, “It is already noon?” you ponder. Putting away your towel, you soak in the solitude, the atmosphere you have become accustomed to, calmly enjoying this feeling as your freshly wet hair dries up. A quick glance across the dimly lit room, a thought slips into your stressed mind, a smug smile and contemptuous smirk, you reach for the table, a quick search, ruffling of papers and few objects displaced, you find your diary, “Best Pal,” a wide grin. 

  Screeching sounds pierce the quietness of the night, dragging the heavy metallic chair through the tiled floor. Seated, eased, relaxed and collected, a deep sigh emanates involuntarily from an exhausted body, inhaling a large quantity of air; you begin to imprint ephemeral memories before the obscurity of the night bluffs away any form of pleasant awareness cognizant in you.

  Dear diary,

Today is day 215, locked up in my world with you. The world is what we make of it, not the buzzing life, the happy crowd cheering heartily in the streets, the extremely irritating boss I have to contend with everyday, nor the attention seeking inquisitive neighbors, desperately prying into my very life with their outlandish and quite hilarious attires, “Clowns.” You obviously wish to know the misery I endured at work, right? Well I was stuck in the elevator for a few minutes, the long wait felt like centuries, only for my ass to be saved by the tech guys. The height of my misfortune came when I mistakenly shut the company’s power grid, “huh! Am sure it tops my list of achievements right? Beat that” Well, I was heading for the manager's massively intimidating office the very next minute; I will intentionally skip the details to quench your obvious treacherous glee.

     I gently sat at the market square, far away from the noise of the gathered youthful crowd – excluded, as I enjoyed the aura emanating from the atmosphere, “the Rock Band.” The Rock Band blew us away, amazed at their musical proficiency – the vibes, the energy, the skill, they twirled the strings through their fingers with impressive dexterity, as the amazed crowd clamored; top notch. Exactly 5:03 pm, I felt the trill to mingle with the crowd, to display some classic dance moves and wow the boisterous crowd as well, but we both know it’s a mere wish; a vain toil, ha-ha. I will definitely have to enroll with a dance class, we can’t continue denying ourselves this art of expression; unrepentant, I rocked the dance floor, merrily swaying with rapid rhythmic steps on my mind with scintillating unrivaled swag. As the crowd sluggishly dispersed at dusk and the music waned down, my eyes scanned the horizon, I admired the enchanting beauty of the heavens as the sun slowly disappeared, my wandering eyes paused, my heart ached, mouth agape, “FRIGHT!” no not fright, bewildered! I saw her again, the beautiful DAMSEL, this time around there was eye contact, she smiled and waved. I heard her whisper, “can I buy you a drink?”time seemed to freeze, the shock excruciating; lost and uncollected, I dashed for the woods, goose bumps and shiver took over my estranged body, sweat from a thousand ocean wet my clothes; soaked, I fled.

     In retrospect I think it was just my feeble imagination, my exhausted mind playing a fast one on me. She could not have, right? I’m not her class “You’re living in denial – Idiot,” she could never be attracted to me, right? “No!” But the butterflies, the feelings, the adrenaline rush, the connection, it all felt real. If only I had mustered enough courage and faced her, and started a conversation, instead I let my stupid emotions take charge, “Stupid, jeez.” Well I accepted my choice and its consequences as fate deemed fit, patted my back and made way for the local bar. Drowning my woe; the red wine swirled in the mug, a large chunk of perfectly grilled meat aw…

‘Zeee Zeee Zeee…,’ the buzzing vibration of your smart phone jerks you back to reality, “The insane speed of time these days,” eyes spilled and wanton regret, you drop your pen and make way for bed. Dressing the duvet, calmly tucked in, a wishful prayer said, you doze off with a smirk across your face as you reminisce the events of the day, “Bloody alarm.”

‘Tick Tock Tick Tock…’ 

….

  Faint chirps of birds foraging the earth agitates a calm mind, high pitched sounds of flocking birds riffles through your auricles; gentle rays of early morning sun shines through the windows, brightens the dark and falls graciously on the thick padded quilt, warming the chilly temperature, “2 degree Celsius, phew!!! I’ve survived more.” Drowsy eyes and slightly numb, you sit, yawning and stretching your muscles in a bid to recover your agility, “Morning again! I hate week days,” god! Weak and heavy steps you decide to make a cup of hot coffee to check the wicked cold and wake your mind. Impassive to the ticking time, moving so fast; the urgency and rush that awaits your envisaged long, unpleasant and stressful road to work; you lazily freshen up. Ready for the day’s unfolding, a long gaze on the mirror as you admire your flawless reflection – an aesthetically built physique adorned with black loafers, well tailored black business suit, a matching off-white tie crowned with a thick curly brown hair, “Perfection.” Door knob turned, door unlatched, a witty smile and a smug face, you stare into a new day, basking in the realization your best pal awaits your eminent return, “Dear diary.”