Every Morning

I woke up this morning. This is already a good start. I quickly switch my alarm off before my person is disturbed. She will be waking shortly but my goal is not to wake her. I unplug my phone and use its glow to guide me through the darkness of our room. I gingerly get to the door and move it gently. My goal is not creek the hinges. I hope to be as quiet as possible. I know she only has twenty five more minutes left and I want them to be peaceful.

Once I get outside the room I take care of the cravings our fur babies have develop through out the night. They are always so happy to receive their breakfast. This one little thing I can do to help my person's day seem a little less crowded. Every responsibility I can free her from brings her closer to a smooth sailing and happy day. That is the kind of day I try to create for her every day.

As a straighten up in the downstairs bathroom, I can hear her make her way to the upstairs bathroom. I think to myself I hope she has slept well as I start to adjust the water for my shower. I know now I have 10 to 15 minutes to shower before she starts hers. I want to be out by then. I do not want her to have temperature issues because we are both in at the same time.

Once I get out, I go back upstairs. She is still in the bathroom and that is a sign that so far things are going well. I smile at my small victory, sometimes I pet the cats in celebration. I turn on the bedroom lights and pick out my clothes. I was never a fashion type of guy. I have a very plain way about myself. But for her, I try. I know I am not the fashion style type guy but I can be creative. I do have an eye for colors. I try and use it. It has become a reflection of creativity. One I have not explored until recently. Now on occasion I enjoy. In that moment. In my mind when I am finding something to wear. I thank her for my new expression. I thank her for this small particle of joy that I would have never found without her influence. She doesn't hear it. I usually don't remember by the time I see her. It is a small thing one that when spoken seems insignificant. But it is something that I treasure. It is a small gift. Gifts should be recognized. In that way they are honored.

I gather my computer and any other tools I might need for work. I go listen by the bathroom door. I do this just for a moment to make sure nothing is amiss. I will not see her until late afternoon but that does not mean I am not concerned about her well being. I know she struggles more than I with anxiety. I know it can hit at any time. I do my best to remove possible triggers as I go about my day. My wish is that it helps her day. It is not always successful but it is always worth the effort.

In free moments at work I think about what needs to be done to help clear her day. I know she is working towards her glass of wine and relaxation in front of the TV. My job is to get her there without any resistance. I need to clear the path of possible unforeseen obstacles. I need to predict if she wants to cook or if she has had enough. I need to read if she wants to talk or if it is time for self reflection. In my quest I must be weary of becoming the obstacle.

I know the words are not spoken enough and too much. I know the words can lose there potency. The words have been so misused and absent when needed. They can be very hard to be spoken. They can be very hard to accept. So I chose action. I chose to burden myself with proof. I intend every day to prove it. Especially the days I don't want to.

She is very much her own person. She is beautiful and unique. She is stubborn and she is dedicated. She is demanding and she is decisive. She is always lead by her heart. Which makes me want to speak to it. The heart has no ears. It knows no words. It feels. What I want is to always be a safe place to feel. Every day I need to work to build that place.

I am very much my own person as well. Together we are another entity that is bigger than both of us. When we are together I am motivated to be my best self. I am motivated to be that for her and our son. I need to be the example. I strive to be the best me. The best me must be a force for the greater good. That is what my family deserves. That is what I strive to give.

This is my role. This is a story of life. This is the story of inspirations. This is a story of family. This my tale. A story I write everyday. A story that has no heroes and no villains. A story of a life that is worth more than any material. This is how I say important things. Things that the words can't describe. The things that the words have become polluted. This is my way of saying the hard things that need to be said and accepted everyday. These things need to be said with words but it also needs to be filled with meaning. The meaning can only be supplied with our actions. I can say she is my muse or I can write it.