The Valko Family Dinner

On the fifteenth of every July, the Valkos gather from glamorous ruins and wretched sewers alike to hold a pleasant family dinner. The familial gathering was less than enjoyable, yet the food was exceptional, and no one could deny that Grandmother Valko’s mystery stew was the perfect way to prepare all the unpleasant parts of the human anatomy. If there was anything the Valko family could agree upon, it was that on that July night, they feasted on delectable meals unmatched by the finest chefs in Europe, or the mediocre ones located around their family home in central Florida.

           That was all the background knowledge Francesca was provided when she approached the family home, a usually gothic mansion surrounded by typical suburban architecture. How in the world that was overlooked by the homeowner’s association, she could not guess? Unless, perhaps, the family had eaten the association, or at least threatened them to.

Or, somehow the simple-minded neighbors failed to further investigate a home infested with nocturnal, blood feasting ghouls, as if they were no more unusual than the typical neighborhood oddball. 

This year there were twelve in total, as the thirteenth unfortunately met his end tied up with the wrong crowd. They left a seat open for him at the dinner table, his mother solemnly placing the ornate jewelry box filled with his ashes on the seat beside her. Around the table the Valkos settled in, all remarking at how wonderful the food smelled and batting away the hands of the younger ones who tried to reach for scraps before dinner had commenced.

The majority did not address her, merely waving hello when she entered with Ferdinand then engaging in conversations amongst themselves. The children were far more interested than the adults. There were two girls and two boys, and while the boys asked random questions like if sharks really attack humans at the beach, the girls marveled over her emerald, green dress, and curly hair.

The only member who would be any semblance of a problem was Ferdinand’s older brother, who Francesca was cautiously warned to steer clear from. Even as she sat in the living area prior to supper playing with the children, she felt his piercing eyes engrave into the back of her skull.

“Geovanni is a traditionalist,” Ferdinand explained to her moments before they were seated at the dining room table. “He doesn’t fare well with outsiders, especially if they are…”

“Different” Francesca answered, and placed a quick kiss on her fiancé’s cheek. It would take a lot more than an unsupportive future brother-in-law to ruin her evening.

At the head of the table sat Francesca, and directly across sat her fiancé Ferdinand, who despite being obviously unsatisfied by the seating arrangements made no indication of challenging it. The household servants quickly delivered piping hot plates of food as soon as everyone was seated and scrambled to pour homemade bottles of wine into ornate glasses. Francesca reached for the cup and caught Ferdinand slowly shaking his head at the end of the table. Right, vampires. That was certainly not wine in her glass. 

“I would like to thank you all for joining us” Her fiancé began and rose from his seat while nervously running his bony hands across his burgundy suit. Ferdinand carefully lifted his glass and nudged its rim towards Francesca with a small smile. “The Valko family has shared this dinner for centuries. It honors our past and promises great futures.”

“Not to Nathaniel” One of the male cousins mumbled, and the table’s eyes all fell on the empty seat. The woman who Francesca could assume was Nathanial’s mother let out a sob, and after an awkward pause, Ferdinand continued.

“Yes, well, for those present here tonight, I could only foresee great fortune, including for our newest guest. Any words to add, Francesca?”

Now it was her turn to receive the full attention of the Valko family, who appeared to be scrutinizing her every move. Francesca cleared her throat as she scrambled for something to say. “I am so happy,” she began, rising slowly from her seat to match Ferdinand, “that I have been invited to take part in this wonderful tradition, despite my ignorance of its origin. You all have been so-”

“Ignorance?” Grandmother Valko cried, cutting off her impromptu speech to glare at her standing grandson. “What does she mean by this?”

“Does she not know?” Nathaniel’s mother shrieked.

“Did you explain nothing to her?” Roared Geovanni, who pointed an accusing finger towards his brother. Though regretful that she had managed to mess up so quickly, Francesca was relieved that the surprise and aggression was directed to Ferdinand, who graciously smiled and took a sip of his wine. His brows furrowed momentarily, as he swished the wine around in his mouth as a momentary stall to come up with a plan to mend the situation.

Finally, he swallowed, and turned his gaze towards his brother whilst responding “Oh, don’t throw such a fit. I was hoping to explain it in my toast before I was so rudely interrupted.” He waited until the family settled and began pacing around his seat, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck as he pondered where to start on the family’s infamous history.

“Well,” he began, placing his wine glass down and looking towards Francesca with a wicked smile, flashing his ravenous teeth and thick fangs that pushed apart thin lips. “From what I best recall, this tradition began with a war.

Long ago, in an era of witchcraft and ghouls, humans fought valiantly against their monstrous counterparts, who were unable to control their violent tendencies. These were not the monsters you envision today, as witches traded their youth and health for the devil’s magic, and vampires were more beasts than humans. The eldest Valko was a famed monster hunter, hired by royalty to eliminate a small caravan of vampires which hid inside a cabin in the mountains. He commanded an army to their home, instructing his soldiers to fight without mercy, and leave behind no survivors.

Valko entered the home first as his men awaited outside, but while he expected disgusting creatures feasting on mounds of human flesh, he instead was met with a family, who was enjoying their supper around a dinner table. The eldest daughter, unmoved by his weapons and the armies outside, welcomed him to join their dinner. Remarked by the unusual gift of kindness, Valko ordered his men to return home, and abandoned his life as a hunter to befriend the family and convince others of their unseen graciousness.

Eventually, he eloped with the eldest daughter, and as a celebration of the unusual ties between man and monster, the family held a feast every year on the fifteenth of July, honoring the day the ignorance of a murderer was replaced by unconstrained compassion. From there, the Valko family only grew, and now we dine here tonight as neither man nor monster, but as a family.”

Ferdinand finished with a small nod of his head towards Francesca and awaited his family’s anticipated quips. She had never heard the story before and was certainly guilty of never asking. Though, her fiancé was notably shy of his family life, and she had never expected for him to speak of the past with such dedication and admiration. Or maybe, it was all an act, and once back in their flat he would collapse upon the couch and lament on how much he despises his relatives and their expectations.

“Nice save” She mouthed to him.

“You’re welcome,” He replied.

“Isn’t it just romantic?” One of the girls sighed and eagerly looked from Ferdinand towards Francesca. “Perhaps, there will be another elopement between man and monster in the future.” The other girl suppressed her shy laughter.

“Oh, well she’s not a-” Ferdinand began, but was interrupted by the loud drawl of his brother.

“Since when has our history been so romantic, lover boy?” Geovanni growled.

“What? That’s the same story we tell every year!” 

“Maybe the one you and Aunt Claire shared together over tea, but I know the real story of the Valkos, told from our great-grandfather himself” Giovanni’s eyes shifted towards Francesca as he cleared his throat in preparation for the tale. “Might I warn you, newcomer, it is not as precious as Ferdinand claims it to be

“The Valko bloodline began with vampire blood. Valko himself dined at the tables of Dracula and Nosferatu, and defeated the most heinous of witches, using their bones to build elaborate swords and beautiful jewelry. He was indeed one of the most feared vampires in Europe, as no man nor monster risked challenging his strength. When the Spaniards began exploring the coasts of Florida, Valko hitched a ride in a quest of becoming the first vampire of the new world.

He turned entire fleets into his servants, and ravaged anyone who came across his path, unknowing of the horrors which laid in the Florida sand. During the day he slept under the shade of palm trees and at night, he was the untimely grim reaper to defenseless sailors. Then, exactly a decade after his arrival, Valko and his servants overturned a giant vessel full of defenseless passengers bound for a new life in the new world. As a reward for their hard work, he prepared them a ginormous feast, and together they celebrated a new age of vampires!”

“So, what, Valko was a conquistador?” Ferdinand asked, uncaring if his brother had finished or not.

“What in the world is a conquistador?” Giovanni snarled.

“I’m sure our tradition predates Spanish colonization” One of the aunts mentioned, rubbing her eyes as if disappointed by where the conversation was heading. “Are you sure your great grandfather was not just speaking of his own daydreams? We did not arrive in Florida until a little over a century ago, just before you were born”

“And that’s when Valko came on the ships!”

“Giovanni, when do you think Spanish colonization occurred?” One of the cousins asked.

“And I was in the wrong for going to school” Ferdinand mumbled while wiping frustration from his eyes, much like his aunt did before.

“Enough!” Grandmother Valko exclaimed, and the table fell into silence. “You are both wrong. Everyone sits down, and you boys better behave yourselves before you never see the light of night again!” 

The Valko family sat in silence and waited for the grandmother to speak again. She sighed and stood from her seat, looking over to Francesca with a small smile. “My child, come with me, I will give you the true reason behind our tradition, if you truly wish to know.”

“I would love to,” Francesca answered, and stood from her seat when the elder approached and grabbed her hand. “Thank you.”

Grandmother Valko’s face hardened as she once again addressed the table. “If I come back, and there is a crumb of food upon any one of your plates, you will all be cleaning this household until the next fifteenth of July. Do you understand?” The family nodded quietly, and when Francesca looked to wave Ferdinand goodbye, she noticed him too engaged in a staring contest with his brother to bid her mind.

She allowed herself to be led away from the dining room and up a set of stairs, walking slowly as the senior held upon her arm. By appearance alone, you could never tell that she was elderly, forever halted in her early forties. There were few gray hairs to be found in her long black hair, and the only wrinkles which adorned her face could be blamed on a scowl which she held for centuries. Yet, something about her stature held an aura of a woman much more mature and powerful than the rest of the room, and she allowed the exhaustion of her years on Earth to degrade her walk into the slow, steady pace of an older woman.

“My, my, what a mouth those two boys have” grandmother Valko sighed.

“I assume brother rivalries are not excluded in vampire households.”

“No, unfortunately, they have been going on for nearly a century”

Francesca laughed, and once they reached the top of the stairs, the older woman let go of her to lead her down the hall. “You have yet to introduce yourself to me, you know. Though, maybe you were expecting I would go first. My name is Elena Valko, and I have been the head of this house for longer than you could possibly imagine.”

“Oh, you are completely right, I’m sorry. I’m Francesca”

“Francesca what?”

“Well, Francesca Valko, if everything goes well” She smiled, and the elder simply stared at her with great contemplation. Francesca grew nervous under her gaze, and was about to add an apology when Elena declared “Here is where you will find our history”

The door swung open and revealed a library, stocked with books from the floor to the ceiling, and it closed immediately after the two stepped in. Where wooden bookcases did not stand proudly, pieces of art covered the walls, depicting romance and war alike. Elena made her way to the closest bookcase to the right and pulled out a leather-bound book with one hand, and with the other signaled Francesca to take a seat in a velvet armchair which centered the room.

While Francesca sat down, Elena remained at her spot by the bookcase and continued investigating the book. “Ferdinand was correct in several ways. Our story began in a war, with a man trying to defend himself against the devil’s pawns.”

“Vampires?” Francesca asked. Elena turned and looked at her, her face losing all the warm welcome it had. “Yes, there were vampires. As my grandson noted, they were more beast than human. But it was not elopement which began generations of vampires. There was something else in the midst.”

“Oh” was all the younger responded as she squirmed in her seat, suddenly incapable of keeping still. Elena opened the book in hand to a specific page and tossed it towards Francesca, the book landing perfectly in her lap. She read the lines carefully, then looked up with a small frown. “This is a spell book”.

“Yes, witchcraft. It is one of the oldest in our collection. Has spells that the modern-day witch, whose powers have been depleted from their source, could not possibly imagine. Including those which-”

“Turned humans into vampires? Oh, Elena, you must understand I never-”

“Do not interrupt me girl!” Elena roared, grabbing Francesca by her wrist, and allowing her pointed nails to cut into the younger’s skin. “You will answer when spoken to. This is my household, do you understand?”

After a moment’s silence, Francesca nodded slowly, her pupils blown with a fear she had neither expected nor felt in a very long time.

“Why did you not inform us that you are a witch?” Elena demanded.

“I- I thought Ferdinand would.”

“Don’t shift the blame! It is you who has been dishonest with us. You abused my grandson’s naivety and good heart to snake yourself into my household.”

“That was never the intention, I swear” Francesca cried. “We only met at a park one evening, I did not approach him knowing what he was!” Elena let go of her wrist and Francesca hugged it to her torso, mumbling indecipherable words as the blood leaking down her arm retracted and broken skin replaced itself.

The vampire stared into her eyes, hovering above her seat, and no longer hiding her fangs behind matte lipstick. “Do you want to know why we have this dinner?”

Francesca considered her options, of whether she could elude the vampire’s grasp quick enough to escape. Or if she should scream and Ferdinand would hear her and come for her rescue. Yet that was dependent on defying his grandmother, which she feared was unlikely. Her magic was no good in combat, merely enough to heal and aid in her escape. What she needed was a distraction, and more time. She swallowed her fear and answered “Please, I would want nothing more.”

Elena slid a sharp tongue across her teeth. “Long ago, the monster hunter Valko led a group of men to hunt down a small caravan of vampires. When he barged through the door of their cabin, he discovered that he had been tricked, and was instead sent to a witch’s lair.

He tried to tell his men to flee, but it was all too late. The witch massacred his men and forced him to watch in terror. Then, as her final curse, she transformed him into the thing he sought to destroy, a vampire, and thus cursed his lineage to become an army of undead forced into hiding.

Valko spent years trying to find the witch who stripped him of his humanity. He made relations with other vampires and convinced them to embark on his quest, with the promise of a rare reward at the end. They searched for years, until one fateful night, on the fifteenth of July, Valko discovered the witch hiding inside a cave. He killed her with the aid of his fellow vampires and awarded them. Can you guess the reward?”

Francesca shook her head, slowly extending her hand and using a spell to open the library door. If she could just get to the stairwell, maybe someone would help…

“A feast, a feast on the sweetest rarest and most delectable blood existing on this damned planet.”

The witch paled, her eyes suddenly meeting Elena’s as the vampire began to shed her human presence, and her mouth grew wide to account for unbelievably long fangs and a tongue that managed to wrap itself into Francesca’s hair. She opened her mouth and screamed, but through the fight amongst brothers that just broke out downstairs, it was completely drowned out.

“Witch blood.” The vampire snarled and sunk her teeth deep into the flesh of the wailing witch’s neck.