Love To Die For

As I read the name, a hint of panic rises in the deep empty chasm where my heart should be. But I make sure to keep my face expressionless. You can't show emotion in front of Victor Donatelli. You could get killed for it.

“So, are you up to it?” he asks with his normal cold voice, staring at me with that sharp gaze.

“Of course I am. I always am,” I reply calmly, but also firmly. I return the look.

“Good. Cause, you do know the consequences if you aren’t.” He taps his fingers right next to the knife laying on his desk.

Keeping my eyes on his fingers, I clench my fists in my lap, a rare nervous habit of mine. He can't see it though, because my hands are hidden below his line of sight.

“You may go,” he says after a minute.

I stand up, not so fast that I seem eager to leave, but not too slow as to trigger his impatience.

Once I reach the door, he speaks again and I pause, my hand on the doorframe as I glance back over my shoulder.

“And remember. If you do not get the job done, I will kill him myself. And then I'll add you,” he says, his tone as dangerous as though he had come straight from hell. Perhaps he did.

“I’ve never failed you before. Why would I start now?” I raise an eyebrow but keep my voice steady.

“Well, I know you have…familiarities with this man. Don’t let that get in the way, Abigail.” He uses my name to emphasize the hold he has over me. He has the upper hand here. Both he and I know it.

I give a slight nod and walk out of the room.

~~~

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves before knocking on the door.

Parker opens the door and a look of surprise crosses his face before a warm smile covers it.

I look at him with my unreadable expression, but my eyes soften slightly as I see the innocent look on his face. He has no idea what is going to happen. It’s honestly heartbreaking.

“What are you doing here, Abbs?” he asks kindly, stepping aside for me to come in.

I don't walk inside. If I do, that will only make this harder.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk. It's beautiful outside,” I say, trying to act casual.

He notices my reluctance to enter the house and frowns slightly.

“You okay, Abbs? You seem a little off today,” says Parker. He seems to realize something is wrong, but he doesn’t push me for answers. A sign of a true friend.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to talk to you,” I say. I beckon for him to follow me and I start walking, knowing that he will follow. His curiosity and kindness does not allow him otherwise.

He hesitates for a second before shutting the door and trailing after me.

We walk down the street in silence before he finally decides to speak up.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asks, smiling again. Why does he have to smile like that? It warms my heart. I can’t let that falter my actions, though. I need to do this.

“I just needed some comfort,” I answer.

How do I tell him without actually telling him?

“You know my job, correct?” I ask, looking at him through the corner of my eye.

“Yes. I don’t approve of it, but I know of it,” he says with a slightly disappointing tone, but masks it with a slight smile.

“Well, I have a new assignment and I just need to plan for it. That’s all.” I don’t dare look at him. I can’t let him know. Not yet.

He doesn’t respond to my statement. We turn a corner and continue down this street.

We walk in silence for a few minutes.

As we pass an empty alleyway, I see this as my chance. I might as well take it.

I grab his arm and pull him into the alleyway, shoving him towards the dead end.

“Woah! Abigail!” he places his hands in front of him to catch himself on the wall. He turns to face me. “What’re you…?” He freezes when he sees the gun in my hand, aimed at his chest.

He slowly raises his hands, confusion and fear flashing across his face.

“Who?” is all he asks, his voice soft as though anything could trigger me.

“Victor Donatelli. My boss,” I answer, my tone cold and distant.

“Oh, him…” He sighs softly and casts his gaze downwards.

We stand there in silence for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” I finally whisper, cocking the gun. The sudden, loud sound surprises him. My heart breaks as I see him flinch.

“You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to hurt me,” he says quietly. His tone sounds slightly panicked, but he tries to stay calm. “I can see it in your eyes.”

He’s right. He’s so right. I don’t want to do this. But, it’s my job. I have to. I can’t go against Victor.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” I say firmly, but my eyes can’t conceal the hint of desperation in my heart.

“At…at least let me tell you something,” he says quietly.

“Fine, go ahead,” I reply reluctantly, my fingers hovering over the trigger. He has a right to talk, especially since he is taking this so well.

“I…I like you, Abbs. Really like you. And I have for a while. I was just scared to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he whispers.

I freeze and my breath hitches. He did not just say that. Not right now, not when I have to do this. Because the truth is…

I like him too.

My eyes flicker back and forth between his face and the gun, contemplating what to do. Do I pull the trigger and get the job done? Do I let him go and deal with the consequences from Victor?

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, giving him a chance to run.

But, I don’t hear anything. I open my eyes again and he’s still standing there, not daring to make a move.

I slowly lower the gun slightly and I hear him let out a small sigh of relief.

“Are you not going through with it?” Parker asks cautiously, looking straight into my eyes.

“No,” I mumble, the quietest I have ever been.

“Oh, Abigail!” He rushes forward and pulls me into a hug.

I immediately tense up, not expecting to be hugged. I think he feels my muscles stiffen and he slowly backs off.

“Bzzzz.” My phone buzzes and I quickly pull it out to check. When I see the message on the screen, my heart drops.

“What is it?” he asks curiously.

“Victor sent me a text. He…wants me to come to his office,” I say quietly, putting my phone away.

“You can't go. Who knows what he'll do?” he shakes his head slightly, grabbing my hand.

“I have to. I can't disobey him. I'll be back as soon as I can. Get to your house, lock the doors, don't let anyone in until I tell you.” I pull my hand away and start walking.

He watches me leave, a tear falling from his face, before he turns the other way and heads home.

~~~

I take a deep breath, my heart racing as my footsteps echo through the empty corridor.

I pause at the door, fear grasping at all parts of my body. I close my eyes and recollect my emotions, returning to the expressionless person I was before.

I slowly turn the doorknob and push the door open.

Victor is sitting on his chair with his feet crossed up on his desk. His hands are clasped together in his lap and he's leaned back so that his face is pointed upward.

“You failed,” he says in a low sing-song voice, that sends chills down my spine.

I stay silent, just staring at him from the doorway.

That is until the door slams shut behind me and I let out a small yelp of surprise.

I think one of his men shut it behind me. Now, I'm trapped. There's no way I'll make it past any guards.

“You forgot that I have eyes everywhere. I know your every move.” He takes a deep breath, his teeth clenching together as he stands up and looks at me.

“You didn't kill him. You went against me. You know what happens to people who do that,” he says, his voice like daggers in my skin.

My eyes widen when I see Victor grab the knife on his desk.

I back up slowly, my back hitting the wall behind me.

This is the most terrifying moment of my life. I'm going to die. Victor is going to kill me right now.

Unless, I fight back.

He slowly approaches me, his brow furrowed with anger.

I can’t let him do this. Not after everything today.

Without hesitation, I pull out my gun and shoot.

The shot is so loud that it's a miracle the guards did not bust down the door. But they probably think he shot me, anyway.

He lets out a small cry as he falls to the ground, clutching his chest.

He looks at me, vulnerability flashing across his face, a rare sight coming from him.

“I knew you were the right person for the job,” he gasps out, his voice hoarse.

Realization springs through my eyes and my jaw drops.

“You set this up. You knew I couldn't kill him, which gave you a chance to call me here. You knew that when you pulled the knife, I would pull the gun. You wanted me to shoot you,” I exclaim, my voice full of surprise and shock. I lower the gun, staring at him as the blood flows from his wound.

He grins slightly and gives a weak chuckle before gasping for breath.

“Perhaps, I did,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth as he lets out a soft grunt. He must be in pain. He deserves it.

“Why?” I ask quietly.

“I didn't choose this life. I was forced into it. I didn’t want to take over the family business, my father wanted me to. Once a person gets caught up in this whole web, they can’t get out. This would be the only way.” He sounds so sad. So different from the Victor I know. But…did I ever really know him then?

“Will you do me a favor?” he whispers, his voice getting weaker by the second.

“Of…of course,” I say softly, feeling a twinge of sympathy flow through my blood.

“Tell my wife I love her.” He closes his eyes. I can tell he is still conscious, but barely. His breathing is shallow.

“I will. I promise.” I don’t know what else to say. “I wish you luck in the afterlife,” I whisper.

“Oh, don’t play it down. We both know I’m going to rot in hell,” he replies with another weak chuckle.

I let out my own sad chuckle.

“You were always my favorite worker Abigail. Don’t forget this,” he whispers, his words coming out as a breath.

“I won't,” I whisper back before I hear silence.

I kneel down beside him and press my fingers to his pulse point.

Nothing.

What…just…happened? But, I don’t have time to dwell on this

I stand up and pace back and forth for a moment.

How do I get past the guards?

I've got it.

I crouch behind the desk by the door.

“Help! Someone!” I shout.

The guard rushes in the door and quickly runs to Victor.

I take the chance and run out of the room, not stopping until I make it outside.

~~~

Parker opens the door and I quickly place a hand on each of his cheeks, looking right at him.

He pauses before smiling softly. “You're okay,” he states quietly.

“I would never leave you,” I whisper before pressing my lips to his. My first kiss. Ever. This is amazing.

Since then, I moved in with Parker and he and I are officially a thing now. I quit my job and am now a writer, telling the story of how I changed from an unemotional robot to a heart-filled person.

I'm always haunted when I look back at that day. What if I had pulled the trigger? What if I had shot him? What if I had destroyed what I love?

But I didn't. That's all that matters. I risked everything.

It's crazy what people will do for love.