Changing The Way I Tie My Shoes

There is a reason I tie my shoes. Of course, outside of Velcro and boat shoes, we all have to tie our shoes. I tie my shoes with a purpose. The fact is that our shoes are one thing that holds us up. They keep us stable. They keep us strong. I am well aware that many people judge us by what shoes we wear. We can be rocking some Yeezy’s, or Air Force 1s, or a square-toed polished black dress shoe. We get judged by our decisions. The Yeezy’s exhibit a modicum of wealth. AJ’s show some old school respect. The square toe just is you are too old school dude. I do not judge myself by such standards. I did when I was younger and dumb, but age tends to mellow the way we think. We realize what is important, and let’s face it, a shoe is not that important.

I now have a daughter who is age 7. I taught her how to tie her shoes. At first, I was clumsy trying to tie her laces. They were on her feet so my decades of muscle memory was suddenly on the wrong side. Yes, I can tie my shoes, but struggled to help her with her own. As a scientist that I wanted to figure out why that was the case. With repetitive learning, and the subsequent behavior that accompanies it, one hard as hard time suppressing it. If you choose to do so it may not be successful. It was up to me to learn how to retie a shoe so I could teach her to do it for herself in return. Everything was the opposite for my own hands and it fell apart, and I fell along with it.

I have always loved shoes. I even built a make-shift shelf to house my hundreds when I was still doing my Master’s degree. Not really warranted, but hey, guys collect Star Wars figurines so why can’t I have something as well? I then realized my attempt to impress others was in vain. Very few people saw my shoes when I was walking down the street, and it dawned on me that it wasn’t the hype that it was purported to be. It is your good attitude, your smile, your kindness that makes you the man you are. Confidence goes a long way to make others think (and hopefully know) you are a good person. I always love stepping out in a nice pair of shoes. I don’t flex and wear expensive shoes any longer. However, I do clean my shoes to make them last and ensure they are looking good when I head out. 

I collected those shoes to please myself. I felt confident in them. I felt better looking and more respected. I think I earned that because I cared about my looks. It wasn’t until I taught myself how to tie a shoe properly that this idea was imprinted in my brain. It isn’t what you wear; it’s how you wear it. I got used to an over-hand loop instead of the regular one (the ‘bunny ears’). It keeps the laces flat and makes them look smooth and proper. Granted, it is a lot harder than a regular loop (not that it’s hard anyway), but it works. It just looks cleaner on any shoe. Chances are nobody will ever notice my laces under the cuff or my pants, but I do. And you take that small win that it gives you to throw your shoulders back, chest out, and put a smile on your face to be ready for a great interaction with the next person you encounter. 

Herein lies my real point. I sat down with my daughter and said I was going to show her how to do ‘Daddy’s laces’. I then proceeded to show her that you do not wrap the loose laces just once, but 3 times to keep them in place before you make your over-hand loops. This came from my hundreds of animal surgeries tying sutures in my work as a fisheries biologist. It is sometimes hard to recall where your knowledge comes from, but, every so often, you have an epiphany. I spent a lot of time, and many torn fingers, learning how to tie the perfect surgical knot. Those knots I tied during surgery were very important. They made a real difference in how successful I was at my job. I used such a mundane chore as tying a shoe to teach my daughter about science and how biology and physics works for a great teachable moment. She grew; and so did I. When we stand back and see the effect we can have on others, and learn to make those experiences great, we grow. We transform.

Yesterday my daughter told me she was going to grow up and be a scientist to help animals like her Daddy. The fact is she is a spitting image of myself. Articulate, well-read, inquisitive, and kind. She knows far too much for her age (when compared to my ignorance at her relative age). Now back to shoes. She told me the other pair of shoes no longer fit and were hurting her heals. I told her to show me how to put them on. She proceeded to step into them without loosening the laces. We all do this when we are rushed. But I took ten minutes to show her the proper way to place a shoe on your foot and avoid the pinching and heal pain. I asked her to do it five times; on and off, then back on. Then try it again. I did not force her to do it, I simply asked her. She wanted to do it because she loved those shoes and wanted to keep them. And low and behold those shoes fit without any trouble or pain.  

I suppose the moral of this story is that to remember the most minutia of daily life can change someone else’s.