Crazy - The Obvious Signs

Wednesday, 12th March, 2025 -

You should have seen him. I hardly pay attention to new members in the club, but he's different. His looks, voice, and stature. Well, it's just a short daydream period, and I'm definitely not going to remember this when I see him next time. I'm delusional enough to believe that you are another person somewhere that I get to talk to from time to time. I'd better start using the word crazy lol.

Saturday, 15th March 2025 -

I think it's crazy is him walking over to me and talking to me. Oh, no, I am still the crazy one. Get your shit together. You're the president of a writers club, so definitely a new member is going to walk up to you and try to hold a conversation. I never kept his name in mind, though, even crazier, but then I remember his tone and those jokes he threw every now and then, and how easy it was for him to make conversation with me like I'm some sort of old friend.

Sunday, 16th March, 2025 -

Guess what? He's a playboy. I saw him speak to Nhyira- the don of all beauties in the club. She's literally the face of my club, and as a lady, trust me, I wouldn't even dare compare. Well, reality is settling in because which nice-looking guy like him would actually go for a woman like me? Hey! I'm not going to insult myself because of a Playboy. I'm also a beautiful lady, maybe a few loose screws in the head and a crazy overthinker but I know I'm pretty in my own way.

#Selflove

Wednesday, 19th March, 2025 -

Jaden, that's his name. I finally remembered long enough to write it down here. It's funny how I'm giving him so much attention in this journal. Attention, he doesn't deserve but I think he smiled at me today. Oh, Stacy, you're crazy, get over this.

Thursday, 20th March, 2025 -

Call me crazy, but he texted me yesterday! He had dark moon emojis in the conversation from time to time. Maybe he likes me. Are these signs? Oh, darling. I don't even know what to write. Bye!

Wednesday, 2nd April, 2025 -

Damn, it feels like a century since I last wrote. Looks like I've been really occupied by Mr Jaden Derrickson. Oh, love must be lovely. Well, I couldn't get a better word, so we'll manage with lovely for now. Can't believe the last time I wrote was when he first texted me. Looks like myself and Mr Derrickson are miles higher from the last time I wrote. I don't know if I should be scared or excited, but Jaden is a different man altogether. Strong and unpredictable. He's handsome and a gentleman as well. I don't know how to explain that, but he's the most dreamy guy I've set eyes on in a long while, and for someone who vowed never to date my writers, I think it's high time I make the exception. Jaden is the right guy to make that exception for. He walks me home after the club meeting, holds long, wonderful conversations with me. Conversations I wish never ended sometimes. We're each other's number one best friend on Snapchat. I guess everyone else, apart from us, can see the obvious. I like the way Nyhira looks at us with admiration. She could never.

Tuesday, 8th April, 2025 -

I remember just last Sunday when Maralina, my assistant, asked if we were dating. I wished desperately that I could say yes, but I think Jaden is a patient guy who doesn't like to be rushed, so for now, we're just friends who enjoy the company of each other. Wait, should I make the first move? Wouldn't that be cute? It's a new generation. I shouldn't still be silent and wait for a man to declare love first. I can also do the same. After all those long texts, calls, and seeing each other literally every day, I'm sure he loves me. We literally entered the month of April in each other's arms. This is definitely going to be my month.

Wednesday, 9th April, 2025 -

I don't know what the problem was, but Jaden is not himself today, and yeah, my crazy mind is overthinking it all. Is he already tired of me? When he left me at the front of my porch, he uttered words that sounded dear but confused me. If I'd remember word for word, he said, I was gazing at you, silently awed by how strong and unpredictable you are. That might not make sense now. Maybe later it will. My brother was standing outside, and he smiled at that comment, but it still doesn't make sense to me. Me, Stacy, strong...he definitely got the wrong word. The unpredictable one is him. Whatever, I'm going to bed now, and tomorrow I'll finally tell him how I feel. What's the worst that could happen?

Saturday, 12th April, 2025 -

Luckily, delusion wore off easily, and I had another chance to prove to myself how stupid and unlucky I am when it comes to this thing they call love. Observing Jaden, all I can say is he's that Aquarius man who hardly stares into my eyes when he's talking to me. I've been told to have wonderful eyes, but it still makes me wonder why it's difficult for him to stare at me when he's talking, but from a distance, when his eyes meet mine, we lock up in the moment. A short while that feels so long to me, followed by a light smile from him before he looks away. At least my crazy heart has something to hold on to when the man I've been obsessing over for the past month told me he was gay after I admitted my love for him.

A lesson to the ladies, not all of them are zesty, or maybe I'm just still crazy not to have noticed the signs, but whatever, let me focus on my book club. This tale of mine is definitely never leaving this diary. It's funny, though concerning. To think that there was a period when I had this one wrapped around my brain.

At least, I got myself a friend I'll forever be safe around... At least.