In the small town of Skystead, Washington, the townspeople have still not recovered from the disappearance of local teen Anita Callahan, the daughter of mayor Carlos Callahan. Her disappearance is still a mystery after a whole year; the only thing known is that she was supposed to hang out with friends on the day of her death, but she never showed up.
She was set to meet teens Rosita Lamicella, Evan Espinosa, and Henry Cottonwood. They were set to meet at Park Rosewater. It is unknown what they were meeting up for, but what is known is that Anita disappeared before she got the chance to meet them. They were questioned, but the group had no information that would help determine what happened to Anita.
One chilly fall morning, Evan was told to rake up the leaves in his front yard. So he took a rake and went at it. He noticed that his rake hit something that sounded metallic. He gets closer and brushes the leaves away to see something that sends chills down his spine.
He calls Rosita and Henry, saying, "You guys need to come to my house... now!"
Soon they arrived, wondering why they were there.
Evan showed them what he found—a shiny red-handled knife that had blood on it.
Rosita’s eyes widened as she said, "Is that...?"
Henry finished, "Anita’s knife. How the hell did it end up on your front lawn? Let me see it."
Evan hands it to Henry.
Rosita grabs it, saying, "You guys stop! This could be evidence. Obviously someone dropped this knife pretty recently, so Anita could be alive."
Henry said, "What about the blood?"
Evan was about to say something, but the three each got a text message from an unknown person saying, "Your fingerprints were all I needed, thanks ;)"
The three panicked, and Rosita said, "We need to take this to the cops now."
Evan said, "Are you crazy? They’re going to think we killed her. Our fingerprints are all over it!"
Rosita says, "We didn’t do anything!"
Henry adds, "That’s not what the town thinks. Especially her dad, they’ve been looking for any reason to put the three of us away. We can't take that chance Rosie."
She asks, "So what do we do?"
Evan says, "We have to find out what happened to her that night, the night she disappeared."
Henry nodded and said, "Okay, but how do we do that?"
Rosita said, "We know she had a long list of ex-boyfriends; maybe one of them had something to do with it."
Henry says, "Maybe. Let’s go to the town square. The library could help us narrow down what she could have been doing. We can log in to her social media."
Evan says, "What about the knife? I’m not taking this to the town square!"
Rosita said, "Guys! Can we talk about that creepy little text we got?!? I swear you guys just glazed over it. That little wink thing has Anita's name all over it."
Henry said, "I didn’t mean to. I’m just... scared, okay. I don’t wanna go to jail... or die."
Evan said, "No one’s going to jail or dying, okay? Obviously someone is framing us for her disappearance. We don’t even know if that’s her blood."
Rosita grabbed the knife and said, "Let’s just go!"
The three got to the library, and Henry and Rosita were on the computer. Evan was behind them when a book fell from the shelf. The book has a sticky note on it saying, "Keep looking ;)"
Evan shook his head and said, "We’re screwed, aren’t we?"
Henry said, "Keep looking? For what? We don’t even know what we’re looking for."
Rosita says, "Guys, at this point, I think we should just take the risk of going to the cops. Why let some random person play with us? Y’know what I’m thinking, what if this is all Anita? What if she’s not dead? She probably would do this to us, that little weirdo."
Henry looks at her and says, "She wouldn’t do this, Rosie."
Evan added, "I don’t know, I’m kind of siding with Rosie on this one. Anita would probably be doing something like this."
A book falls, then another one, and another one.
A fire starts deep in the library’s rows of books. Rosita sees this, and she says, "You see? I’m done. We’re going to the police."
Evan stared at the fire before Henry grabbed him.
Evan said, "Someone’s watching us. I say we go to the police too."
They made their way to the police station, but the fire at the library had gotten worse. The fire got so big that many police officers were at the scene and not at the station. Right before they were going to walk in, they got a text. It’s a picture of them holding the knife.
It read, "Keep quiet till tonight. Meet at nine at Rosewood Park ;)"
The three then went to Henry’s house and waited until nine p.m.
The night brought harsh winds, but the three were determined to figure out who was messing with them.
When they get there, they see a person standing with a black hoodie on.
The person turned around; it was Carlos Callahan.
He had a shiny revolver in his hand.
He then revealed that his daughter is actually dead; he also revealed that he’s the one who killed her.
He said, "I did it because my own daughter was trying to get me out of the mayor’s race. She knew how much this meant to me, and now you guys will take the fall while I stay as the town’s mayor."
He then pointed the gun at the three.
Henry charged him, causing the gun to fall but go off. Rosita looked to see if she was shot; she was fine. She turned to see that Evan was fine too. Henry’s eyes widened as he realized the bullet hit Carlos. Cop sirens filled the windy night, and Carlos was taken to the hospital via ambulance.
The kids gave their statements and were free to go.
Later, the three were at Rosita’s house, reflecting on everything that happened.
They get a call saying Mr. Callahan has escaped from the hospital under mysterious circumstances.
The three pause at the sound of harsh knocking on the door.
The End... ;)
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3 comments
The Critique Circle suggested this story to me, and though I am quite new to the site and do not feel overly qualified to provide input, I will offer a few thoughts. You have the plot a story here that might be strengthened with a little ore character development. Definitely dialogue conveys a degree of character, but if the without a lot of variation in speech patterns, that isn't quite enough for the reader to differentiate them. It's a subjective point of course, as people like Hemingway often do keep their characters a little less develo...
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Hello! Thank you for this! I really was just trying to put something out for fun. I personally wanted this story to confuse people in a way that’s why it’s pretty fast paced, and a little scrambled up hence the story ending on weird little cliffhanger. I wanted to reference certain things that the reader never actually read to add some confusion. Like why are the characters so similar yet different in the way they talk and “why is it like I’ve missed something”. My writing isn’t the most conventional and I like that and I’m okay with that. B...
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I found being asked to critique other work a bit daunting as I don't see myself as having the cred to do so. I appreciate you taking the feedback in the spirit intended. I am finding the site useful to do encourage me to put stuff out and experiment a bit, so that's a goal I totally understand.
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