Letting it Go

You’ve failed and you’ve lost your credentials. It’s over. There are other churches where you can get your credentials. Let it go. Start again somewhere else. Maybe give up being a member of the church. Yes, I know you’ve invested tons of time and money in it, but you fucked up, so let it go.

Just let it go and start over somewhere else with someone else. Think of it like a burnt steak or a pickle. You can’t unburn a steak. You can’t unpickle it back to a cucumber. But you can buy another cucumber or a new steak. That’s what you have to do.

You could do that, but it’d be a “catch-22”. They’ve already punished you because they’re angry with you. If you do this and call them again. Think. What happened the last time you called the EEOC? You won, they had to pay you $10,000.00 and they went out of business. If you sue the church, you win, they pay you $10,000.00, they go out of business, there’ll be no more church to get your credentials from, so you still won’t get your credentials. If you lose, you not only won’t get your credentials, but they probably won’t even let you back into the church. You’re damned if you win, you’re damned if you lose. But, if you wait four years, there’ll be new officers, new trustees, new everybodies. Then, you can use the Eighth Declaration and get all your credentials. Keep studying. Remember, “Slow and steady wins the race”.

Why do you care? You know how many people wish they could sit on their ass and watch TV? You know how many people wish they could get free housing, no bills, don’t have collectors calling you? That’d right, you don’t and because of that, you don’t need a marriage counselor, a divorce lawyer, you don’t have to save up for anyone’s college. You know how many of the people you wish you were like, wish they had what you had? All of them, including me.

Hear me loud and clear: You fucked up, you lost your credential, you got to start at a new church that believes similar to what this church believe and start over. Calling EEOC or the DOJ won’t help anything.

Yes, you could appeal, but then you’d have to travel to Buffalo. How do you think you’re going to get a plane ticket to Buffalo? How are you going to get a rental car, a motel? How much do you think all of that’ll cost? You don’t have access to your own money and your legal guardian won’t give you the go ahead. You know that, right? What? You gonna hitch a ride on a car anc an airplane? Think realistically. Think logistically. Just think. When you die, who’s going to give a shit if there are different letters before your name or after? But why do you?

You don’t have to pay it forward. Just enjoy a lazy life and let it go.

You tried talking to them. They said, “No”. You tried all the persuasive stuff. Don’t sue them. Make amends but don’t have expectations.

I know. It’s because you’re a hoarder, packrat, or call it what you will. You still have the pills in your medicine cabinet when you were pregnant with me and I’m 57. Listens; it’s over.

You need to throw stuff out, reaccess your goals . . . Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want. Shoot yourself in the foot, but don’t come crying to me when it blows up in your face. No, not if it blows up, when it blows up. You studied natural law, so you understand natural law. Law of cause and effect. If you do this, the cause, you know what will happen (the effect). You’ll get in trouble. Sorry, you’ll get in more trouble. Let it go. Remember, you even wrote a sermon on that? You need to practice what you preach. Yes, they should let go of the harm you’ve done them, but they won’t. Think of it like the SAT’s, GRE’s, etc. If you try to get the better or them, they won’t care. So quit and start over somewhere else.

Maybe take a vacation or convince your legal guardian to take you on a vacation with them. Yes, I know they’re controlling, but . . . You’re right, it wouldn’t be a vacation, but think outside the box. What’s something you enjoy other than church? Yes, we both know you can’t get married and SSDI isn’t enough to raise kids, but do you have a favorite sports team? You hate sports. Maybe join a choir, do art work? Build community that way. Join a local garden club? What did you tell your guidance counselor you wanted be when you grew up when you were young? Bullshit. No kid says he wants to be an ordained minister. The truth. What did you say?

A rabbit? You still want to be a rabbit? Figures. Look, you can’t be a rabbit, you’re not going into professional sports at your age, remember the elephant thing? No, not the GOP elephant, the how do you eat an elephant? That’s right and the bullshit they tell you on planes? Be, Do, Have, TNH, all that stuff. If you know it, maybe you could do public speaking? No, not giving sermons, unless you can rewrite them to not include churches.

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Why you’re here? I don’t know, go to the library and read self-help books, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, sell porn on the black market to teenagers. Pick something, anything, but not everything. Or else you’ll wind up like me with friends like you. I know you’re my mom.

Remember the Beatles? “Let it Be?” Or Chicago’s “Look Away”? Quitting isn’t quitting, it’s quitting this so you can succeed again. That’s success. Think about AA, “Surrender to win”. You can’t win unless you lose. Lose the battle, win the war.

Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I don’t give a fuck anymore and neither should you.