CW: Contains themes of mental health crises, manic episodes, and suicide.

Vale…Farewell to the years of academic success. He had a remarkable pathway through secondary school and was anticipated to excel at university too. No-one could have guessed what was to happen when he turned eighteen. How would anyone imagine that bright star lose its brilliance.

Vale is a Latin word meaning farewell, often used in an obituary, but Steven did not die, he just fell over, fell off the wonderful trajectory he had been riding on in his teenage years. And ironically his Latin exam marked the end of that pathway, and tipped him onto a lesser, unpredictable path.

He had finished all his other exams- English, Mathematics, History, Science, French, and less popular subjects like Latin and Ancient Greek came last in the Higher School Certificate. Steven had always excelled in exams, and won all the prizes, and was awarded Dux of the School.

The Latin exam was two hours long, and Steven started it with confidence. He did the Latin to English translation, then the English to Latin one. He wrote a Latin poem, critiqued a Latin essay, and wrote a history of the Punic wars between Rome and Carthage. He was writing fast, and thinking even faster. He finished the whole exam in less than half the time, and swiveled round on his seat to see that everyone in the room was still hard at work. He laughed a silent hollow laugh and went back to the beginning of his paper. He translated his English back into Latin and his Latin back into English, to prove he was correct, and he went over his poem and history essay. He was agitated, sweating, and finding it difficult not to chortle loudly and encourage all the other students to join him in singing ‘Gaudeamus igitur.’

He knew he had to keep quiet in the exam room, but he began waving his hands to conduct the choir. One of his hands, grabbed the other one, and he waved them about under the desk, just mouthing the rest of the words;

‘Gaudeamus igitur

Iuvenes dum sumus.

Post Iucumdam iuventutem

Post molestam senectutam

Nos habebit humus.‘

He found it so difficult to keep still, and the words flew through his brain, until he forced himself to tidy his papers, and skipped forward to hand it to the exam monitor and he ran out of the room, with three quarters of an hour to go.

Out in the playground there were only a few students, and Steven waved to them, and ran over to them. ‘Have you finished Steven?’ said one of the boys, and was astonished when Steven swung his arm around him and hugged him.

‘It was so easy!’ said Steven, and did a cartwheel on his way to the bus stop.

The boys laughed and went back to their lunches.

The students doing the Latin exam finished and wondered where Steven had gone. He was so uptight, they said, and one added ‘I bet he had to run to the toilet.’

‘I hope he’s okay.’ Said another. ‘I’ll ring him tonight and see how he found the exam. Maybe he is upset.’

Later that evening, Steven had not reached home, and his parents were worried.

By ten o’clock, they had phoned all his friends and couldn’t find him. They were worried. Maybe the Latin exam had been too difficult, and he was ashamed to come home if he thought he might have failed. His father recalled that Steven had seemed depressed after the mock exams earlier in the year. ‘But it was only for a few days,’ he said to himself.

At two in the morning, Steven’s father got a call from the hospital.

‘Steven has been found half naked, dancing about in the Botanic Gardens. Do you think he could have taken some methamphetamines?’ the nurse asked his father.

He was so pleased to hear Steven was ok, and couldn’t imagine his straight-A student could ever have taken drugs. His parents drove down to the Emergency Department and found Steven sedated, wrapped in a hospital blanket.

Steven was admitted to the Psychiatric ward when his urine test showed no trace of methamphetamines. The Psychiatrist took a history from his parents. There had never been any psychotic or manic behaviour, and Steven had never suffered depression. His father forgot to mention the melancholy episode a few months earlier. Nor was there any family history of note.

Steven was started on Lithium, and after a week, he seemed to have recovered. The last thing he could remember was the Latin song, urging the young students to rejoice before old age dampened their youthful joy. His father sat and talked with Steven, and they chatted about his father’s days at university and how much his father had enjoyed it. He drew the Psychiatrist aside, and asked him if Steven would be well enough to go to university in February.

‘It’s a bit difficult to predict what will happen. He’s had a manic episode and sometimes it’s followed by depression, so we’ll have to keep an eye on him. He can be discharged but will be followed up at home by a Psychiatric Nurse.

Steven did well. He continued taking the Lithium and also was started on an antipsychotic injection once a month. He had planned to do some part-time work at MacDonalds and this was postponed until he seemed to be getting bored and restless. It was December and Christmas was approaching. Steven and his friends met for hamburgers one afternoon, and they all seemed relaxed when Steven joked about his experience, and they all hoped they had done well enough to go to university.

A fortnight later the results came out. Steven had come top of the state in Latin. Steven was ecstatic. His parents hoped he would remain well, and they approved of their plan for Steven and Ben and Joel to go camping near CurlCurl.

The end of this story is tragic. Steven did not live to suffer the decline of old age. Ben and Joel found Steven hanging from a tree when they woke up on the first morning of their camping trip.

Vale, Steven, Vale