Brown Bottles

“It’s been two weeks Hugh, have you decided on burial or cremation?” She asked quietly, with tenderness, and I hated her for that.

“I dunno, but I really have to go mom.”

“You can’t avoid it, she was your wife Hugh, you have to let her rest in peace. I can help-”

“She is still my wife. Listen, I’ll decide later, I really have to go. I love you.”

“I love you too, listen you should come over later.” I hung up, and made an attempt to swipe the incessant tears that ran down.

Two weeks ago I didn’t mind a call from my mom, but two weeks ago I could make faces to Olivia and watch her giggle in her chair while my mom nagged my ear on the other end.

But a lot can change in two weeks, a lot can change in one hour. Like the hour it took to find her body. I didn’t know what to do when I found myself counting the stitches on the chair. I stared for hours until I realized she wasn’t there to bring me back to reality. But nothing felt like reality anymore, it was only meaningless things filling the air. It seemed like everyone couldn't stand the empty air, so they filled it with countless objects, words, and messy memories. I looked at everything in the house and couldn’t remember how it all got there. I looked at every inch of the house, and I stopped when I got to the kitchen. I stared at the trash, and realized why it looked so odd, there were no brown bottles.

After the call, I couldn’t bear to think of burials or cremations, every thought was plagued by that day. It haunts any memory, it’s on auto play, hammering each moment into my skull. As if I would forget it. 

I jumped in the car, and drove away, down 4th street until I could see the caramel sand. The heavy evening sky shone over the sand, the only occupants were a sunbathing couple, a lady, and two kids. Everything was peaceful. I stayed in the car, and looked over to the empty passenger seat. And everything replayed.

“It’s too dark Hugh.” She said. Olivia took the bottle out of my hand.

“And you're too drunk.” Even in the dark I could see her eyes roll. Olivia was the prettiest when she was mad. Their marriage was based on eye rolls.

“Come on! There’s no one.” I grabbed two more bottles and ran out onto the sand.

“Fine!” She met me on the sand. “Hugh I’m serious you can’t even stand! Maybe we should just go home.” 

“Olivia! Ooo-Live Eh ah!” I sang, chugged a bottle and stumbled towards the water. The alcohol blurred the black water, but I didn’t stop. Why would I? I flung my arms in the air, beckoning her to join me. Slowly she made her way over. She clasped my hands and the cold waves crashed into our legs. I twirled her, and she stifled a giggle. Another wave crashed into our legs.

Why would I let her get in the water?

Another wave came, stronger than the last. Once the ocean got a taste, it wanted to consume our bodies. She screamed and she gripped my hands as hard as she could. The grey sand started to inch away from us. Her face became blurry and our feet lifted. In and out of the hungry tide, she desperately called for me. We were being swept away.

“Hugh! Hu-” My body felt numb. I couldn’t fight against the water. It covered our heads, and a wave broke our hands. Her fingers moved chaotically as they slid away from mine.

“Olivia!” Her name burst from my chest, but was drowned out. The water filled my mouth, it wanted to suffocate us.

Then the lights flashed from the beach, headlights slicing through the blackness. I closed my eyes, I couldn't breathe anymore. Everything went dark.

“Hey! Can you hear me!” My eyes felt sore, and I threw up saltwater by the gallons.

“She’s in there-”

“Sir the paramedics are on their way.”

“She’s in there! Listen to me!” I grabbed handfuls of his windbreaker, frantically searching his for understanding.

“I brought her in..I shouldn’t have let her go-”

“Hey Skinner, I think I see someone.” I didn’t notice him until he spoke, he was looking at the black waters with a flashlight. Under his hat hid his uneasy expression.

He was looking at a dark mass floating in the water, the closer it got the more I felt like I was still drowning. 

“It’s a body.”

The ambulance sirens filled the quiet air, for an hour I was trying to breath air into her.

“I can fix this. I can fix this.” But her giggles were gone. The two patrol guards gently pried her from me. But the image of her cold skin, and her glossed eyes stayed with me.

Two weeks later, and I’m staring at the beach in the same spot, stretching my fingers waiting for her hand. Her frantic fingers left an itch in mine, her hand was the only medicine. I stood there staring at the vicious water, mocking me with each wave. The tides spit something at my shoe. It was a washed up brown bottle. I wanted to scream.

“Don’t go far into the water Alex!” The lady yelled, breaking my train of thought. I spun around and in the distance the kid stepped into the waves. The lady was drying her other child with a towel, getting ready to leave before it got dark. Nothing good happens at night.

Alex waddled closer into the starving water he was going in too far.

“Alex! Come on, time to get dried up.” She turned around all color leaving her face.

“Alex! Where are you!” Everyone’s eyes fell onto his little body being snatched up.

I looked out into the water before me and whispered to her.

“I can’t go back, Olivia. I can’t fix things. I’m sorry I can’t go back. I love you.” 

I ran and dove in.

***

”Man drowns saving child, right here in Nettle Beach. The man now identified as Hugh Mortimer, is reported to have swam after the child, he was able to pull the child out of the water, but couldn’t escape the currents.This is the second death reported within two weeks. Family has been notified, back to you in the studio.” The news station reported the story within a minute, leaving the details out. But Mrs. Mortimer knew the details didn’t make a difference, Hugh and Olivia would rest in peace together. She switched the TV off, and with tears splashing on the remote she realized she would be attending two funerals.