A Bad Day Gone Well

“You sure you’re okay doing this?”

You look at me, seeming irritated that I’m asking yet again how you feel about coming to my place after work.

“Sean, you spent all this time convincing me that you wanted me over, that you needed this. And what, now you’re getting cold feet?”

You look at me with your arms crossed and a mock pouty face that I’ve known for so long.

“No I’m not getting cold feet!” I hope you can’t see the heat rising in my cheeks. “It’s just….this seems silly. Like kinda cliché, doesn’t it? I’ve known you for so long and I feel comfortable with you….but still I just feel weird.”

“Sean, this is about your girlfriend, right?” You stop whatever you were about to say, a mischievous grin breaking across your face as your train of thought shifts gears. “Well, possibly soon-to-be-not-girlfriend I hope.”

My jaw drops and I can feel my mouth moving like a fish grasping for water that isn’t there. It freaks me out to hear you say that even though the thought has been running through my mind nonstop for months now. Can’t believe this is finally going to happen!

You roll your eyes at me and laugh. The realization sets in and for you it’s no big deal, but for me it’s life changing! I’ve never done this before and you’ve already been through it. I can feel my heartbeat quicken as I think of why you and I are here together on my doorstep, the things we are about to do that could affect my long term relationship with Saundra. I’m so excited and so terrified at the same time.

We stare at each other for a few moments on my front porch, grinning like two idiots over the situation. Suddenly your smile drops to serious again.

“Hey, don’t waste my time. I have a husband and family who are probably already wondering why I’m not home. Are we doing this or not? ‘Cause if not, I’m leaving now.” You turn on your heal as if to show how serious you are about leaving.

“No please!” I throw my hand out to stop you.

You look down at my hand on your arm and then back up to me with one eyebrow raised.

I clear my throat and try a calmer approach. “I mean, please stay. I want you here. I need this.”

“That’s my Sean!” You playfully slap my face as you walk past me and into my home.

. . .

Saundra is off work early today and even decides to skip her usual afternoon workout and phone time with her sister. Today she is headed to her boyfriend’s apartment well before the usual time.

She takes as many turns as she can think to take on her way to Sean’s place. She doesn’t want to reach her destination before she’s ready…which could be never.

Sean had been acting weird lately. Moments now feel different, sometimes better than normal. Like how he would stare at her, lost in mental bliss. Then just as quickly it could flip, like reality found him, startling him and dragging him to a scary place. Sometimes he would even look sick and damn near run from her.

It’s been an amazing four years, but now Saundra feared the worst: it was over, that he was ending it.

Saundra gripped the steering wheel. She would be sure to beat him to it. She was going to break up with him.

He was lucky to have her, they both knew she was way out of his league.

She was beautiful and popular and talented. She could date any guy she chose, and she always had. Sean was the stereotype of a dork. He was a bit on the scrawny side, unkept hair that always looked a day away from needing a good wash, and his clothes were so simple. His look reflected the fact that he put all his thought and energy into his geeky passions in the world of engineering.

Saundra sighed at that last thought. Isn’t that the reason she loves him so much? That he cares for something real? And on top of that, he cared to have her involved in his passion. He dared to ask her on opinions with his projects, even ask her to help troubleshoot when he felt stuck. He didn’t get hung up on stereotyping her as all beauty and no brains.

She loved him because he was different and that he gave her a chance as a person. Previous guys she had dated assumed she had nothing to say, that she was just some hot girl they could ramble to without expecting her to keep up. They would flex every subject they could think of to look impressive. The irritating part was she tended to know more than they did, she just didn’t have the heart to embarrass them.

Who was she kidding? Sean was out of her league. She was the lucky one to have him.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, Saundra realized she was already parked a few homes down from Sean’s place.

She took a deep breath and smiled as she changed her decision. They would talk, not breakup. This relationship meant too much to Saundra, she couldn’t imagine being without him.

But then Saundra saw Kat. Why was Kat here now? True Kat and Sean have been friends their whole lives, but what a weird time to be over. And why did they look so serious? What? Now they’re laughing? Did Kat seriously just slap Sean?? That seems a bit flirtatious….

Saundra suddenly felt sick. They went in the apartment together. This normally wouldn’t seem weird except for the jittery way Sean was moving.

No, they’re just friends, Saundra shook painful thoughts from her mind. She would wait for Kat to leave so she could speak privately with Sean.

Saundra took pride in her ability to be patient and right now she needed it more than anything, it was her strength. 15 minutes passed…30…an hour and 10 minutes….what is happening?! This is ridiculous! Even she can admit this is a stupid amount of time to wait.

Saundra suddenly feels heat so intense that even the nerves in her teeth are dancing. She starts to shake with fear and adrenaline.

Her phone makes her jump. Sean is calling. She picks up, relieved. Maybe she missed Kat leaving.

“Hey beautiful!” Sean sounds uneasy.

“Sean! Hey I—”

“Look, if you’re coming over, do you think you could hold off at least another fifteen minutes?” Sean cuts her off and rushes on. “I’m not quite ready for you to be here yet.”

Saundra feels a growl scrape it’s way up and out of her throat.

“No Sean! I will not hold off! I’m sick of holding off!!!” Saundra slams the phone to the floor of her car. She walks quickly up the sidewalk, her legs stiff from the long wait in the car.

Without pause, Saundra bangs repeatedly on the door. Yes, she would be the one to end this.

. . .

Sean hangs up the phone and turns to me. He looks freaked.

“What was that about?” I ask while continuing to set the table.

The apartment is looking good. Being that Sean doesn’t own much, it didn’t take long to tidy and clean. It was the dish that was eating up time. Yes sorry, pun intended.

Sure the candles and flowers were cheesy (or “cliché” as Sean said) but they were a nice touch. Just 15 minutes more and the food would be on the table with the wine.

I’m not the bragging type, but it’s a good thing Sean asked for my help in all this. He has little experience with dating and so absolutely no clue with romantic mood setting to a woman’s taste. Saundra is a special lady and deserves a proper marriage proposal. Thank goodness he asked for my help!

I’m so excited for my Sean. I know he’s been stressing over this and he felt I was the only one who would get this, which honestly is true. With his high anxiety, I know this will be the perfect way for him to be himself for Saundra. I know she’ll get it too. I like her. I’m feeling giddy getting to see the lead up. Being proposed to is crazy exciting! It throws you into the reality of how much you’re in love.

“I think she’s upset.” Sean answers me. As if on queue, the door starts rattling with blows. Sean and I only have a moment to look at each other before the door bursts open, an angry Saundra standing in it’s frame.

Saundra’s eyes fly in confused circles around the room before landing on me. Uh oh. I think I have an idea on the conclusion she’s come to.

“Kat!! What the hell! I know you two are buddies, but I never would imagine you would do this! I thought we were friends too! Sure I haven’t been around as long but—”

I hold my hand up to her.

“Saundra shut up! I love you but shut up! I’ve had a long day and I want to get home to my family. I was just here to help Sean out and now I’m leaving.”

I force a hug on her before I reach the door. I feel a jolt of anger run through her body at my touch.

“Saundra seriously. Calm down. Sean is more my brother than my real brother. I love him, but not like that. Gross.”

She looks extremely stunned and confused, but I can see her start to relax. Tears start to form in her eyes as she really takes in her surroundings again.

“Sean can’t cook. It smells good in here.”

I have to laugh at that.

“No he can’t cook,” I agree with her. “Help him get it out of the oven on time, will you? You two dorks have a fun night.”

I look back one more time at Sean. He mouths “thank you” just before I shut the door.

I don’t get halfway down the walk before I hear a squeal and a “Yes!” and a happy sob from Sean’s open window.