Her Burden To Carry

“No, God, please!” Leilani screamed. The glorious vocal chords God himself had created for her thrumming beneath her cries. “Please, I didn’t mean it! Please! God?!”

But God didn’t listen to her cries, and cast her down to Earth in a towering rage.

~~~

Leilani stirred on the plush ground and pulled a pearly feathered wing over her face. The sun in her eyes was forceful, though, gleaming through the dainty feathers as she tried to sleep. She yawned softly and rose from where she lay on the ground under a peaceful willow tree. Her long, sleek hair matched the golden robe hanging from her petite body. It draped around her like a blanket, with a long girdle tied at her waist. A breeze caressed the vine-like limbs of the tree, causing them to blow outwards, as if reaching for her. 

Tucking her hair behind her shoulder, she stood and extended her limbs, while her sleeves and belt drifted on the wind just as the weeping willow’s limbs had. Lowering her arms, Leilani gazed up at the beautiful sky. The blue vastness mingling with the white clouds was surely still a sight to behold. 

Even from below. 

She couldn’t imagine a life without all the beauty God had brought to this world. She’d been here for a mere three months, but the things she’d seen. Oh, the things she’d seen had made her sure that the pain, the suffering, the fear, would all be unbearable if God ever decided to let this world burn.

But it hadn’t come to that yet, and she hoped it never would. Now, she was on a search for the thing that had brought forth her earthly excursion. The thing that had become a part of her. The thing that God himself had gifted to her. A heavenly treasure only she knew how to use. A harp. A small, fragile, golden harp. She had become part of God’s holy choir shortly after earning it and had contributed to the pride he’d shown of his beautiful band of angels. 

They had been performing one of his favorite harmonies when she’d somehow dropped it, and it had fallen to Earth. God had been furious with her, demanding she find the treasure, and had cast her down to Earth to search and roam until she retrieved it. She had begged and pleaded with God not to send her to Earth out of fear and devastation, but to no avail.

She’d been searching for what felt like decades and had no leads as to its location. Too afraid to go near the humankind, based on what she’d seen from a distance, Leilani had stayed away from their civilizations full of sin. She need not return to Heaven tainted with the scent of their sin.

She scoured every inch she trekked, with not the slightest trace of the harp, until a few days ago. When she’d stumbled upon a crumpled slip of paper trampled in the mud, containing a message of reward for the retrieval of a certain golden treasure; a small harp. Someone had spotted it and thought it to be a meticulous gift for a wealthy queen. And it had last been seen with a traveling salesman. So she’d followed the path, eyes peeled for anything or anyone. And after days of traveling, she’d stumbled upon a single-man caravan in his horse and buggy, making camp for the night. She presumed it could be the salesman from the poster or at the least someone who knew him.

She watched him settling down and thought the idea to be a good one, so she followed suit. Taking shelter up a hill under the aged weeping willow for the night, she’d made herself comfortable. 

Now, as she peered down the hill, Leilani could see the man packing his things in preparation for the day’s trip to the next town. He’d changed out of his raggedy handmade clothes into cleaner ones of brighter color, and it seemed he’d combed his hair. Terrified yet hopeful, she made haste as she bounced down the hill, careful of her precious wings.

”Pardon me!” She announced nervously as she approached with caution, loud enough for him to hear her soft velvety voice. She tucked her hair behind her ears bashfully.

The man hadn’t seemed to hear her, though, and instead proceeded to pack his things and pat his chocolate colored mare. “Now Penny, we’ve got a long day ahead of us, so we’re gonna need to hit the road now.”

Leilani stepped into the man’s field of vision, hands shaking, before speaking again. “Hello. My name is Leilani. I think you have something I desperately need. It belongs to- well, it belongs to me and I require it to get home.”

Yet again, the man seemed to ignore her.

She held her pale, shaky hands up and stared at them, then cautiously waved a thin hand in front of the man’s face. To her surprise, there was still no reaction. He couldn’t seem to see her. But she didn’t understand why.

Perhaps it was God ensuring her safety. She bowed her head in prayer for a moment, thanking him for his thoughtfulness, before drawing her attention back to the buggy. Somewhat saddened at the newfound challenge, she wondered if maybe she could peek inside and see if the harp had been placed amongst his things. Surely, that wasn’t wrong. God had ordered her to retrieve it, but to what extent, she wasn’t sure. 

Leilani strode to the back of the buggy and drew back the flimsy, tattered white cloth hanging in the opening of the carriage. She peeked inside, but could not see the harp or sense it, either. Frowning, she stalked back up the hill, kicking a pebble or two with her clean bare feet in grievance. She had believed she’d been put on the right path, but was mistaken. 

Plopping down lazily against the willow tree, she palmed her young, delicate face in her hands, lost in thought. Her hair slowly fell forward, tickling her knees and concealing her grieving face.

God should be ashamed of her. For what she’d done. She’d felt as though she’d been guided here, but she had simply stumbled sloppily through this world, expecting to happen across her key home by chance. She’d been thoughtless. The harp could be anywhere and she’d stuck to the eerie shadows and shrubs out of fear. This could have been God’s way of testing her. Or punishing her. The harp could very well not even be here at all.

Suddenly, a noise shuffled from behind her and she startled. Only to realize that even if it was a human, she wasn’t in any danger because they couldn’t see her. She turned to peer behind the tree and was greeted by the face of an older gentleman.

Wrinkles creased his brow and cheeks, and sharp white stubble grew along his chin and jawline. Below the stubble, he had clothes that were worn well beyond their worth. They had holes and stains and smelled of stale food. Bearing no shoes, his feet were severely calloused; presumably from the miles he’d probably traveled for a single meal. Leilani felt pity for the man. She glanced into his bright hazel eyes, searching for anything other than grief or sorrow, and found nothing more than his fair share of it. But that didn’t stop him from smiling at her.

This time, she did startle. Had he actually smiled at her? Had he seen her? Quickly, she ducked behind the tree, afraid her eyes hadn’t deceived her. 

But the old man had. And even spoke to her. “Oh my, aren’t you just one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever laid eyes on?” 

She trembled in silence, afraid to speak. But she willed herself to look back, her long locks covering a fraction of her face.

He stared at her hair, and at the brilliant robe draped around her body, before meeting her eyes again. ”It’s alright. I’m a follower, so I can see you, while some cannot.”

Leilani peered around the tree once more. “I-I don’t understand.”

The old man smiled yet again. “Only true followers of God will ever be able to see an angel.”

A sense of safety washed over her in a rush. She pondered for a moment if God had sent this man to help her. “I’m sorry to be so curt, sir, but I’m searching for something important. I need to get… home. But I can’t without what I was sent here to retrieve.”

The man chuckled quietly with a nod of his head. “I understand. It wouldn’t happen to be a little golden harp, would it?”

Her eyes lit up with anticipation and her cheeks flushed with shame, a stark contrast to the vibrant robe she wore. She bowed her head. “Yes, it would. It slipped from my grasp and plummeted to Earth. Rather shamefully, God cast me down to Earth to find it. It’s the key to my return.”

The old man nodded as if he understood her. “I see. I’ve been searching for something I lost long ago, too. But you’re just in luck, I suppose.” The old man said before leaning back behind the wide base of the tree, out of sight.

Confused, Leilani peered after the man. 

He stirred around once again. And with a grunt, he reached a wobbly arm out from behind the tree with a small golden harp in hand. “I snuck into the traveler’s cart on my way through just a short while ago and found it.” He said, rather shamefully. “But I was so tired, I needed to rest. So I trudged up this hill and sat down for a nap just before you got here.”

With a flick of her wings, Leilani jumped from the ground in excitement and began to twirl around. Her hair flared out in a halo, wrapping around her body in sync with the holy robe that also fanned out around her. She lifted her wings to the sky and reached her hands out to carefully take the precious treasure. Mentally, she vowed to never drop it again and took it from the man. Hugging it to her chest, she danced out from beneath the flowing limbs of the willow, and smiled at her heavenly home above the clouds. 

Before bouncing into the sky, she turned to face the man who’d redeemed her. She peered into the only visible eye she could see from behind the tree. “Thank you. You don’t understand what this means to me. I’m extremely grateful. If you ever need anything, all you need to do is send me a prayer. My name is Leilani. I will hear your prayer and do what I can, I promise you. God smiles on you today.” The old man simply nodded at her gratefully. She smiled at him, straightened her robe, and lifted off into the sky with a leap, regretful she hadn’t gleaned his name. 

With her robe glistening like a golden star in the sky and her hair catching in the wind, she flew as fast as her divine wings could carry her. Before she reached the clouds, she glanced back down to Earth. The willow tree and its branches flowing in the wind made it appear as though it were waving farewell.

But just as she reached the clouds, she caught a glimpse of something under the weeping willow where the old man had sat. It had appeared to be an aged, pearly feathered wing.

She shook off the sight as mere imagination and turned her attention toward her final destination. Heaven, her home.