The Philosopher's Wishes

Life is a tragedy don’t you think? One minute, you’re thinking that you’re finally free from your devastating prison and next moment you realize that you’ve been caught in another trap. And now you can’t even decide whether freedom is truly possible or it’s just a myth people tell themselves to keep going forward. Life is just a series of closing doors don’t you think?

My story began, like all stories do, by entering the world. No, I’m not talking about my birth, that’s a different kind of story. I entered this world from my prison. I stepped into a world of freedom from a place of limitedness. I passed into the light from the darkness.

‘Finally, my hour has come, I’m free.’ I remember I exclaimed in a thundering voice with a slight laughter. But I couldn’t enjoy this feeling for too long. As my vision got adjusted to the light I saw a small person laying on the floor his eyes filled with total astonishment and terror. Maybe my laughter was a bit too much after all, I must have scared that little one. But as I inspected his skinny figure I felt a connection, a bond and with consternation I realized it. Oh Gods! I thought. Is this puny man supposed to be my master? And I really thought I broke free on my own this time. Well, what could I do? The rules were the same as always. Three wishes then both of us can go on our separate ways.

‘Behold human.’ I began in a deep voice, so he would know with whom he was dealing with, ‘I am Suraki, the spirit of this…’ I looked around for the object of my imprisonment, ‘of this tea kettle.’ How embarrassing. ‘I am bound to fulfill three wishes of anyone, who frees me. Be wary though, all wishes have consequences, but anything shall be possible… So what do you want?’ I might have dropped the almighty, ethereal being style by the end. That little man seemed too scared.

‘Y-y you’re a djinn?’

‘Some call me that, yes.’ He was still gasping for air, so I realized I had to break the ice. ‘And who are you little one, if I may acquire?’

‘I-I I am Adam Lamyn. I’ve just purchased this kettle, but I never thought…’ He stopped trembling a little. I figured I should appear more approachable, so I went down to his level and took my human form.

‘Oh, it’s so strange to walk again, but at least we are the same now. Listen, I am a powerful spirit, but you can call me a djinn. I’m bound to you until you make your three wishes. So let’s make it snappy? What do you want? Wealth, girls, power, anything you can wish for shall be yours.’

‘Okay, okay.’ He finally stood up steadily and looked up to me. ‘What do you mean we are the same? You are still twice my size?’

‘This is my human form, okay?’ I took a form of a regular human male with a height of 200 cm and a weight of 120 kg. ‘This has always been my human form.’

‘This is all so sudden. I never would have believed that djinns exist. I don’t know what to say.’

‘Tell you what. Let’s have a tea, let’s relax and get to know each other then we make the wishes come true. How about that?’

‘Yes, I’d like that.’

I snapped my fingers and a two porcelain cups appeared with the finest black tea a mortal can dream of, and also some milk and sugar just to satisfy the English roots of my little master.

Still a bit reluctantly, but my little friend sat down and I took the seat opposite to him. He took a sip from the tea and gave me a nod of appreciation. ‘Really nice.’

‘The finest tea for you my dear boy. So who are you, Adam? What do you do in this fine world?’

‘Well, I’m just a regular guy. I’m 24 years old. I’ve graduated from university majoring in philosophy and now I’m working at a fast food restaurant.’

‘A philosopher, you say? Marvelous. The last time I was around those philosophers in Greece were considered a huge deal. Trying to figure out life and its secrets – oh, good times. Have you guys made any advancement in those areas?’

‘Not really, people still don’t know anything. Everyone has different answers to the big questions.’

‘Typical human thing. Never settling for anything.’ I shook my head with an understanding smile but I also saw an opening. ‘But you know… I could give you the knowledge to figure out the answers to those big questions.’ I looked straight into those sad, puppy eyes and raised my mighty voice. ‘I can give you the infinite knowledge of life. A knowledge man can only dream of. A knowledge so powerful, that equipped with it you will be able to solve any problem in the world. A knowledge with which you can become the leader of a new utopia that you carve out of this rotten world. By knowing the secrets of all, everyone would bow down before your intellect.’ At this point I was standing before my little master, and more silently I said: ‘you only have to wish.’

My little philosopher shrank before my might, and I could see the mad desire for power in his eyes. I was certain about his answer so I prepared to snap my fingers and give him the knowledge…

‘I pass.’

‘WHAT?’ I was snapped. Who could refuse such a thing? Was there something wrong in his head?

‘I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I believe that the secret of life is just enjoying its randomness and chaotic nature. Knowing all its secrets would ruin that. And why would I want to know everything? That would be an overwhelming burden. One that no man should carry. Sorry to disappoint.’

‘I get your point, philosopher. Huh, a less thoughtful person would have made the wish and then might have regretted it. It’s good to be thoughtful about these things.’ I couldn’t believe he refused my offer, but I had no choice but to wait.

‘I appreciate your patience, djinn. Tell me in the meantime where do djinns come from?’

‘We are from the ethereal world. You wouldn’t understand it. It’s complicated, but once you make your wishes I can go back there and tend to my business as usual.’

‘And how did you get inside this tea kettle?’

‘There are all kinds of traps in the ethereal world. Kettles, lamps, vases, bottles. It’s a dangerous world out there. One can get trapped for thousands of years. That’s probably the reason why you don’t see many djinns flying around… or extreme stuff happening.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that… But what about the time I freed you?’

‘When you freed me I became bound to you until you make your wishes. That’s how the system works.’

‘Can’t you just leave?’

‘No. Uh, how can I explain it? It’s like the law of gravity. Gravity just exists. Same with this. That’s how magic works.’ I watched as he chewed on my words, and before he could ask anything stupid I said: ‘but the important thing is that you have three wishes. Three completely normal, all-powerful wishes. Use them wisely.’

‘Oh Mr. Djinn, I can’t wish for anything right now. It’s just all so sudden: you appearing in the middle of my kitchen giving me this amazing opportunity. I ought to use it wisely. But I didn’t even think djinns existed before I met you, and I still have a feeling that this is just a very vivid dream.’

‘It’s a dream come true.’

‘Right. I will be thinking about this, but right now I really have to go to work.’ He looked at his little watch. ‘Shit! I’m already late.’

I watched him as he went from room to room getting ready, but for what? When he could have anything? Why even bother with the daily nonsense? I have to admit I didn’t understand my little philosopher.

‘I’m off to work. But I will see you in the evening, djinn.’

The evening came and gone. I asked my little master if he had any wishes, but he just shook his head saying he needed more time “to wish for something truly meaningful”. Another day passed like this and the weekend began without the hope of freedom.

On Saturday morning, however, the philosopher surprised me. Since, I cannot sleep like mortal do, I just kept flying and walking around the apartment and explored the building as long as my bound would let me. When I returned to my master, he was waiting in the kitchen in his bathrobe with a coffee in his hand. He looked at me with a bright smile and scintillating eyes.

‘Good morning djinn! I have been pondering about your offer and I made up my mind about my wishes.’

‘Joyous morning! Well done philosopher! I’m eagerly awaiting your commands.’ Finally – I thought – this guy will wish for something stupid and I can get the hell out of here.

‘So I was thinking that wishes shouldn’t be for myself, they shall serve a greater purpose. They shall help the whole of humanity.’

‘I get your point. Good thinking, boy.’

‘So I was thinking that since one of the biggest issues on this earth is pollution I shall do something against it.’

‘A noble cause that is. What is your wish?’

‘That’s the tricky point. Pollution is caused by everyone, but mostly by factories and big firms, which pollute the air and the water, so I was thinking about diminishing them….’

I saw the face of the philosopher turn as white as chalk. There was a rising uncertainty in his eyes, so I asked: ‘is everything alright, boy?’

‘No, I just realized that destroying the big factories and firms would result in millions losing their jobs.’

‘I mean you could also just forbid the production of their current products.’

‘But that would also be wrong. It would ruin the economy of the world.’ He took his head into his hands. ‘This is wrong. I have to think through what I wish for, because otherwise I could ruin the world instead of helping it.’

‘Adam, listen!’ I shook him up a bit. ‘Don’t overthink it. If you’re afraid just wish for something for yourself. Never ending love? How’s that sound for example? I haven’t seen any girl in your life so far.’

‘Oh yeah, I had a girlfriend, but we broke up 2 months ago.’ He answered blankly with a troubled expression on his face.

‘See? I could make her fall in love with you again and forever.’

‘But what’s the point in that? If she were to accept everything I do, it would turn into a one sided relationship. It would be like being with a robot, who nods at everything I do. No, that’s not right.’

‘Okay-okay. How about wealth?’

‘What would I do with riches? I don’t care for opulence. Money only corrupts people.’

‘How about might to rule the world?’

‘I know nothing about leadership. I better leave that in the hands of the more capable. I’m sorry djinn. It seems that my ideas don’t work. I have to think harder and better.’ A worrisome look shielded his face, but I couldn’t care for that then. All I could focus was that lousy kid couldn’t make up his mind. Just a few more days. – I thought, but oh how wrong I was.

Over the next couple of days, I followed the philosopher wherever he went. Of course invisibly. He was the only one, who could hear or see me there. He looked distressed. As he himself had told me: it’s such a great burden to actually make a wish, which would benefit the world and turn it onto the right path. He felt responsible for the world in this way. He wanted to save it. Of course, he was party right: a bad wish could ruin everything, but I still couldn’t grasp why he couldn’t just ask something nice for himself. Why not be selfish? Why try to save the world? It’s all doomed anyway.

A few weeks went by and one morning I caught him talking aloud. ‘What would happen if I were to simply wish for world peace?’

‘A mighty noble wish that would be.’ I encouraged the kid.

‘Yeah, but what would actually happen?’

‘Well… people would live in absolute peace for once.’

‘Some say that the conflict is the driving force behind actual change, so without conflict wouldn’t it be impossible to bring about change? Let’s say there’s a dictatorship. Without conflict that couldn’t be overthrown.’

‘Well…’ I had no idea what he was talking about.

‘And what about the individual level? People would stop hating each other. Some cultures are based around their opposing views with other cultures’. Without that, the world would become blank.’

He looked at with a flustered face: his eyes were weary and I sensed a bit of sleep-deprivation in them. He went on with his day in his usual manner, but I could sense that the whole thing bothered him to his core.

A month went by. Nothing happened. I caught the philosopher uttering words to himself. At one occasion he was arguing with himself: ‘Maybe I could go back in time and prevent a disaster from happening. What if I were to stop Hitler from reaching power? Oh, but what would that do? I might cause another catastrophe in the present times. No one knows how altering the past could affect the future. I can’t make such a decision without making sure it would work. I gotta think, I gotta think….’

If only he could think – I thought to myself. He was playing with my nerves. I was finally free from my prison only to be stuck with such an idiot.

Another month went by. The philosopher lost his job and spent most of his time searching on the internet. He made a post asking what people would wish for if they were in such a position. Of course, answers from all over the world came in: all telling different scenarios. He got into intense discussions with the people of the internet, and became more and more unsure. I noticed how he was parleying with himself more and more often. I told him several times that he could not see where everything leads, and he should just choose something that benefits a small group, but he lashed out to me that I just want to beguile him.

Our relationship deteriorated. He became more and more secretive. Our friendly discussions about me and my powers turned into a silent war between us. So I tried to stay out of his way. He was my master after all, so I couldn’t hurt him in any way. The situation would solve itself eventually.

And here we are now. It’s been 6 months since he freed me from that kettle, and for 6 months I lived in a Sisyphean manner: always expecting my well-deserved freedom, but never truly reaching it. The philosopher seems to have aged years since he met me. He doesn’t usually leave the house anymore, only to go to the shop or to the library. He spends his days reading, checking the internet and writing long passages about possible scenarios and impugning them immediately. He ordered me to stay out of his sight, so we don’t talk anymore. But I still see him, and his eyes as they lit up with a mad shiver only to turn down into nothingness. But he’s not the only one affected by his overthinking patterns…

I began writing this memoir just to kill time and cope with the imprisonment. A prison, where freedom is so near, is worse than that kettle I was trapped in. It feels lonely here. I watch people come and go, but I can’t interact with them. I wonder if my friends in the ethereal world are still around. I want to meet them, but I can’t leave. I wonder if there’s even anything to await. Nothing seems to change in this loop of existence. The days seem longer in this world than in the one before and I’m just getting tired of it all. I’m always hopeful that tomorrow will be better, but deep down I know that my wish won’t be granted.