Unfamiliar

The room is unfamiliar.  I don’t know how I got here. Suddenly very bright lights, I am on a cold hard surface.

“What can you tell me about yourself?” the man bending over me asked.  He is dressed in dark green scrubs and looks to be around retirement age

I am unable to move my arms. . . . or legs. . .or neck.  Ahhhh, Oh now I am floating.  Is that me lying there on that steel table getting a Y cut into my chest?

“What do you have for me Doc?” a short, stocky but not fat man about 50, wearing a nice but not too expensive suit, entered the room.

“I’ve hardly gotten started, the only thing I know now is, she shouldn’t be dead.”

Dead,  well I guess I must be dead, otherwise I couldn’t be over here watching my body being dissected.

“I need to weigh the internal organs, take samples and run tests. I will analyze the contents of her stomach and run some basic tox screens. There are no outward injuries.  There's no trauma to any part of her body. My assistant puts her time of death around 4:30 this morning based on liver temperature and lividity at the scene. Where is the scene?”  

“A jogger found her in the park around 6:30 this morning. She was underneath a bush and his dog went to investigate. Do you have her clothing?”

“Everything is bagged over there on the table. Her fingerprint card is next to it.”   I float over to the detective, watch him put on gloves and open the bags containing my clothes. He looks through them quickly, then looks at each item carefully, my shoes, my shirt, my skirt, my underwear.  Why is he frowning? He turns my shoes over, looks at the bottoms.  

“Did you swab the soles of these shoes doc?  I’m not finding anything on these clothes, no stains, nothing, just deodorant residue, however this is a man's shirt.”

“Well, very observant detective”, doesn't hear me. I continue, “when you're a large woman, built like a linebacker, women's clothes don't really fit.” 

 He turns to the doc. “Where are the crime scene photos?“

 “The pictures are still in the camera, you're welcome to use that laptop over there to look at them.  

The detective picks up the camera, turns it over and around to find the memory card, pops it out, then picks it up off the floor.  A woman in scrubs comes around the corner  “Here you go, Detective Parker, come over here away from the body and have a cup of coffee.” 

 The detective takes the cup, walks over to the other side of the room, the young woman puts the memory card into the computer.  The detective looks at pictures of me, scrolls through, then enlarges them one by one, looks at them again, then turns to the doc. “Well if someone else put these clothes on her they did a good job, all buttoned correctly, nothing appears twisted, nothing is torn. Why is she dead? And what was she doing under the bush away from the path?”

“I may have an answer to part of that, there is stomach contents in her esophagus and mouth. I will check her airways and lungs for signs of edema ” 

The detective looks at the pictures again and sips his coffee, “I don’t see any vomit in any of these pictures, and she is on her back not her stomach.” He sets down his cup of coffee and picks up my fingerprint card. “I’ll go run these and talk to the officer first on the scene.” I follow him to the door but am overwhelmed by the need for coffee.  I float over to the abandoned cup, and hover, unable to sip but able to smell.  I stare at the picture on the screen. It is enlarged so that all that is showing is part of my left arm and the grassy area under a lilac bush.  A lilac bush! I must have really been sick. I am severely allergic to lilacs. Wait, how do I know that? What else can I remember?  Everything goes black, ok maybe I won’t try so hard, wait the doors just clicked shut, I think they just turned off the lights and left.  I want to leave, to search for answers but I am suddenly overwhelmed terror.  What is there to be afraid of? I am already dead, I just want to find answers. I can't do that if I am lost. I guess I will have to leave with someone next time. 

Waiting, waiting, waiting, I twirl around and around.  I hesitate not wanting to bump into anything. I just float through anything that is in my way.  The solid things are different temperatures. I float through my body.  It feels strange being in my body, but not in my body.  The whole thing is really weird. I thought that when I died, I would go straight to God and nothing else would matter anymore.  Maybe the doc was right and I'm not supposed to be dead. God doesn't make mistakes; however he doesn't stop people from screwing up, I’m stuck here, I might as well try to help someone. How can I be useful if I am too terrified to leave this room?  The lights come back on the doc and his nurse walks back through the door, the nurse is digging in her purse. 

“Do you have any gum in your desk? I'm out.”

“The last time I chewed gum during an autopsy, I compromised evidence when it fell onto a spleen.”

 The nurse laughed. “Wear a mask”

Doc laughed, “they weren’t that popular when I was in med school.  I may have a piece in the car.”

 Car, car, car are there car keys in my stuff? I go over to the table where the evidence bags containing my things are piled. I shutter and walk/float into the stack and look at each layer. No keys. I watch the doctor and nurse prepare numbered slides, drop the slides one by one in a small box, then write in a notebook. I go over to read over his shoulder. The doctor shutters, reaches over and turns on an ancient looking radio. Classical music fills the room.

“Hey Marie, help me prioritize these tests.” 

Yay the nurse has a name. What’s mine?

“Okay, but why can't we run them all?”

“The only way we can do that is if we find something that suggests murder.”

“Is there anything to suggest murder?”

“Hey Doc.” Detective Parker walks in. ”I got a match for the fingerprints. She is 39-year-old Sarah Quinn. She is here on a 6-week temp contract.” 

Marie walks over to the detective.  “What kind of contract? Do you have any gum? 

The detective pulls a silver cigarette case from his suit coat pocket and flips it open revealing sticks of gum in several flavors.  “She is or was a nurse, here on a travel contract.  She was supposed to start work in the OR at the county hospital at 6:00 this morning.”

So I am a nurse, my name is Sarah. I was walking to work in street clothes because operating room scrubs are provided by the hospital. Now we just have to figure out what happened to me. Marie,  walks over to my body and starts poking around. 

“Hey Doc. I think I may have figured out why she was vomiting.”  The doctor and Detective Parker walk over.

“It appears that she may have been pregnant. With your permission, I would like to cut her uterus open to be sure.” 

 “Just don't lose your gum.” Doc chuckles. 

“I am wearing a mask”. 

The sound of an old country song interrupts the banter.  The detective pulls his phone from his pocket.

“Parker” he says, “Yes, all right” He returns his phone to his pocket. “Well I better get back to the station, a mother just marched her teenaged son in with a phone case that contains Sara Quinn’s driver's license and a hotel key card.  Says he found it this morning on his way to early baseball practice.”

That ringtone was much better than the opera screaming out of this radio, I put my hand on no, through the radio,  there is a spark, the radio makes a crackling sound, blessed quietness.   

“Now, I will show you how to get music on your computer.” Maria laughs, "The variety is much better.” 

Wow, The whole room becomes very bright, the room fades to the background.

“Sarah, are you ready to cross?” 

“What?”

“Step into Eternity.”

“What?   I'm trying to figure out why I'm dead.”

“You can stay here and figure that out, or you can come across and be with your grandparents and unborn children. The choice is yours.” 

“Would I be able to help anybody if I stay?”

“That is uncertain.” A form stepped out of the bright light. It appeared to be a large man wearing silvery, shiny clothes.  “You need to make up your mind. The way is open now.”