An Unusual Source of a Story of a Goodbye

Tears fell as hands disconnect.

“I’m leaving,” she said. “We can’t be together anymore. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye. Goodbye? But… I don’t want you to leave. I need you to stay.”

These are words I wanted to say but I cannot. It hurts deep inside that I am being left behind. Before I can ask why, she uttered, “We have to move on. We need to grow up. I can’t keep you forever.”

“Please don’t say that,” I thought.

“They say I’m crazy for still keeping you all these years,” she continued. “Maybe, they’re right. I mean, I am married now. My husband doesn’t like how close we are. Although, my kids don’t mind.”

“Yeah. I know. Even when we were young, your family seems to like the thought of getting rid of me,” I responded but only in my mind.

“Except Mom, of course. She continues to let me talk and play with you. She doesn’t mind you being a boy too. She knows you relieve me from stress. It’s sad that she had to leave us early,” she maintained. This time, she becomes emotional. I am starting to think she can’t handle this. I may still have a chance.

“I know. I like your Mom too.”

She continues her monologue, “You were there when we had to bury her. You were there to comfort me. The pain would’ve been unbearable if it wasn’t for you. You were closer to me than my brothers and sisters.”

“You have endured enough. We don’t have to go through this, you know.”

“As sweet as it may have been, I still have to let you go.” She sobbingly insisted.

“No.”

“I have to.” She whispered, “Goodbye.”

I became awestricken as she stands up gesturing that she wants to leave the room.

“It’s okay,” says another voice in the room. “You know you have to end this. Are you ready to let him go?”

They’re acting like I’m not here.

“Yes,” she said.

“Okay. Let’s get some fresh air. He’ll just wait here. He’ll stay in the room.”

They left me. She left me. I don’t believe it. I thought we’d be with each other forever. All those times I defended her. I was the only one who protected her, not her brothers nor her sisters. It was me.

My life revolved around her. Things will be hard. She’s giving me up, but I don’t think I can do anything about it anymore. The only thing that will happen to me would be forgotten forever. Her only friend when she was young.

I remember that time when we went to middle school. She was quiet. While her friends start conversing with each other, she was counting the number of birds she sees flying by. She was not bullied but she was neglected because she wouldn’t speak even when talked to. So, we practiced at home. I played the role of that girl who kept on prodding her to talk. The next day they talked, and that girl became her best friend until college.

In high school, they were together most of the time and it seems like I am the third wheel. It didn’t matter to me though. I just want to see her happy and she was. I am also happy because at the end of the day, I am the last person she talks to. Her secrets, yeah, including her high school crush, the creepy janitor, the handsome teacher, and her first experience being courted by a football player. I know it all.

Heck, I even know that the football player tried to woo her best friend too right after she said yes to the guy. That’s one reason why the best friend only lasted until college, but they’re in good terms now. I helped her with that too. Oh, the confidence I gave her during those times.

Even the details of the dates, I know them all. I even helped her choose by placing my votes. How about that guy who tried to kiss her on the first date? Denied. I approved that guy who drove a BMW, but it turns out he was lying all throughout the date, including the BMW. Eventually, he got rejected. She was totally fine. I only wish the best for her, but I know it can’t be me. If only I could, I would.

But was it wrong to let her have other friends? Was it a mistake when I helped her have the confidence to talk to the guys she liked during college? Was I in the wrong when I let her practice with me for a job interview? How about that time I allowed her to go on dates with that guy, who is now her husband, while I stay at home? I gave him free pass, and this is what I get from him? Dislike? Hate? Am I starting to regret these choices?

No. I should not have any regrets. Instead, I should be proud of her. I should be proud of what I have accomplished. She became successful with her career until she became a mom, a role she really wants because she was inspired by her own. She met new people. Thinking about it, she was shy, awkward, and a wallflower at parties. Then, slowly, she can talk mostly to anyone.

I liked that time she relayed to me about how nervous she was when she presented her solution to a group of people. I don’t remember who they were, but I know this, she got out of her shell. My timid, little friend is growing up. Now, she’s facing me with courage. She’s brave. I don’t think she needs me anymore. For you, my dear friend, I will take this as another step for you to achieve something greater and better. I hope, in your memories, I won’t be replaced. I love you.

The door opens. That person she went out of the room with is back.

“Alright. Another job done with another one gone,” the therapist says as I slowly fade away into nothingness.

With tears in my eyes but happiness in my heart, I cried, “Goodbye, my ‘real’ friend.”