Technomancer 27: Loretta

The cicadas chirped, filling the evening air with their steady hum beneath the reddening sky. The long grass parted around Masa, brushing against her legs and belly as they made their way towards the shack where Loretta’s tent had once lain. The child within her moved, unsettled by her mix of excitement and nerves at seeing the woman she thought of as a mother once more.

Behind her, her real mother’s footsteps sounded upon the mud along with hers. Those working in the fields paused their work to glance toward them. A few of the closer ones stayed their gaze, their eyes drifting to her stomach. She tried not to let them startle her and focused on her goal. Besides, it was none of their business.

The scent of cilantro and comino filled the air. Masa broke into a run, resting her hand beneath her belly for support. She had to see Loretta. Tears escaped her eyes and drifted down her cheeks as she climbed the steps and burst through the door.

Loretta turned and dropped her knife. “Masa?” she gasped. Her hair had greyed further, and a few more wrinkles lined the corners of her dark eyes. She closed the distance between them and embraced Masa, pulling back to look at her belly. “Where have you been? And look at you! You’re with child.” She touched it and ran her hand along it and smiled with wonder. Pausing, she frowned, placing her hand against her chin. Her brow furrowed. “Wait. Did Arion do this to you?"

“No. It's Leron’s from the nights we spent together in Nuevo Laredo. We went to find him, and he was in San Antonio. Don't worry, he is safe. This is my mother,” Masa said. The walls were a mixture of sheets of reclaimed wood, patched with iron, with mud wedged in the gaps to keep the room sealed. The wooden floor boards had also been reclaimed from multiple buildings. Some were plain, while others contained a mix of flaking paint colours, long since faded.

Her mother snorted, pushing past her. She took a seat at the table in the centre of the room, folded her arms and scowled at Loretta. "Hi," she said with a tone of ice.

“Nice to meet you,” Loretta said with a nod before turning her gaze back to Masa. “But where are Leron and Arion?” she asked, gripping her arms. The look of worry on her face and her concern made her a mother to them all.

“Arion stayed with a girl he met in San Antonio. Her name is Cassie - you would like her." She thought of Leron and considered how much to tell Loretta. She had never felt hesitation when telling Loretta anything before. Why now? Was it because she didn't want to ruin Loretta's idealised version of Leron? She shook it off and told herself it was only because she wanted the secrets to stay between the two of them. "Leron was taken by the Texas military and forced to become a soldier. I found him and we were able to spend time together and get married, but he had to return to the base.” Masa sighed, unsure of where to go next. It was all a complicated mess of people and emotions. “There is so much to tell you.”

Loretta let her hand fall and embraced her. "I'm so happy for you both." She touched Masa's cheek and smiled. "This was all I had hoped for. Can't he just escape?"

"No, he can't, and I've come back to...Well, it's a long story."

“Then we will talk over dinner.” Loretta's child began to cry from the other room, and she disappeared into it and returned with the baby, who had doubled in size since she had last seen him.

Feeling unfamiliar emotions rise within her, Masa approached him and let him grab hold of her fingers. He smiled at her, and her heart began to race. She smiled back, feeling his soft fingers between hers.

"See? You do have it within you after all."

Masa's mother scoffed and grumbled something beneath her breath. Masa ignored her. She longed to hold her own child and knew she would soon. Rubbing her hand over her belly, she felt peace flow through her.

Loretta laughed and seated herself at a nearby table. She released the button on the shoulder of her dress and began to feed the child. “Have you seen anyone about your pregnancy?” Loretta asked.

“No.”

“We will see to that as well, then. Sit.” Loretta gestured to the chair on the other side of the wooden table.

Masa was more than glad to sit down in the chair and have the weight off her feet. She pulled her foot up and tried to take her shoes off, but it was difficult. She frowned at her foot, realising all at once that she was going to need help moving forward. It would not be much longer, and she would not even be able to tie her shoes.

"Masa!" screamed Sara from the entryway. The little girl that Arion and her had found alone in the streets of Laredo ran to her, wrapping her arms around her and resting her head on her belly. She giggled and took hold of her hand. "I'm so glad you're back. We have to go play!"

"Sara, would you set the table? Masa has had a long journey, and she needs to rest."

"Awww..." Sara said. The disappointment on her face disappeared, and she began setting the table.

Dinner came in the form of tacos with birria. While Masa wolfed them down, she told Loretta all that had happened since she had disappeared. Loretta responded with a mix of excitement, curiosity and well-founded advice. She told of the happenings within the camp and how things had changed since many of the children from when the bombs exploded were born. She spoke of Felipe and how much he had helped her, and Masa began to wonder if the two were developing feelings for one another.

"So, if Leron is in San Antonio, why did you return?" Loretta asked. "You could have stayed to be close to him."

Masa frowned, fearing bringing up her reason for returning. The waters of fear rose within her. They took hold of her, preventing her from speaking.

"She came to speak with the council," her mother cut in, looking increasingly annoyed.

Loretta frowned. "What about?"

"Are you going to tell her or will I?" her mother demanded.

Masa stared at her and swallowed. The nerves within her rose, threatening to engulf her. They washed over her like a wave, and she felt like she was drowning. Her breathing quickened, and all the practice her mother had helped her with left her.

"She..." continued her mother.

Masa grew angry, and the tides of fear within her broke. She glared at her mother. "No. I'll do it." Tightening her hand, she fought back at the fear she felt at Loretta's questioning eyes. She wasn't even in front of the council. If she couldn't tell Loretta, how would she stand before them? "I returned because Leron told me you are in danger. He...managed to come across some information that said that Don Eros is in Laredo, hunting the Monterrey Group. We have to evacuate."

"No, we will fight. This is our home." Loretta said, undisturbed by the news.

"But if we don't leave, many will die," Masa argued, standing to her feet. She grimaced as her muscles ached. "We can go out west. There is a prepper group out there, and they have water and more. We would be far from the war. Yes, you would have to rebuild, but we would be far away from any trouble."

Loretta laughed. "You speak of a utopia. Even if we were to leave, no place is perfect. You were the one always encouraging us to fight for our homes."

"It will be worse when trouble comes. I want a safe place to raise my child," Masa said.

Loretta stood, and the nurse turned mother, transformed and became one of the politicians on the council. "I once said the same of this place," she said, her tone backed by a will of steel. She wandered past the table, brushing her hand along the top of her chair. "And yet, it also has its troubles." She pressed on the back of the chair, and it shook upon its crooked leg. "If we run, there is nothing to stop Don Eros from following us out West, and we will bring danger to the people of this utopia of yours. This is our battle, not theirs. Watch the children, and I will alert Felipe of the danger. Do you still wish to speak before the council?"

Masa frowned, considering the offer. Loretta had already made up her mind and would not leave. The emotions threatened to take hold of her once more. Her argument had failed when faced with the immovable object of the woman who had taken her in. Masa had hoped her friend would back her. The devastation she had expected from facing Loretta and failing had not been as bad as expected. She calmed her emotions in the way her mother had taught her. And, a new thought occurred to her. She grinned, playing with her braid. Losing her argument did not mean she had lost.

Loretta was right about fighting Don Eros. But she was also wrong about where to pick that fight. Masa knew from her time in the raid units that out here, amidst the farms north of Laredo, they had no defences. She had seen no walls when they had entered on the dirt road. Felipe would know that too. A prepper community would have defences and weapons to spare. They had always prepared for the government to fail. "If we stay to fight, you risk our people being killed. If we leave, we have the chance to disappear and lose no one. If Don Eros does find us, we survive a greater chance with increased numbers."

"Hmm...I doubt that. Well?"

"Gather the council."

"Very well." Loretta nodded and left the shack.

"You did well," her mother said, standing and gathering the plates. She took them to a bucket of water and began to wash them. "I must admit that I do like her," she said. "I don't think there is a person in the world who could dislike her."

Loretta's baby began to cry from its basket on the floor. Masa picked him up and cradled him, singing Estrelita while she rocked him.

"I used to sing that to you when you were little."

Masa smiled and stopped, brushing the top of the child's hair and rubbing her finger across his forehead. "I know. She continued to rock him and eventually, he yawned and fell asleep. She stood beside Sara, who was playing on the floor with a handmade doll. "Come with me, it's bedtime."

"But, I don't want to," Sara argued.

Masa's mother came over and knelt before Sara. "I'm Janine. If you go to bed, I will tell you a story, mmm?"

Sara looked up at Masa and then at her mother. Taking her hand, she nodded warily.

"You rest," her mother said to her. "It's been a long day, and you must be tired."

"I am, thank you."

Her mother led Sara to the other room and disappeared inside. Masa folded her arms and listened from the doorway as the older woman spoke of fairies and dragons into the warm darkness. Memories of her childhood bubbled up, and she recalled all the times her mother had put her to bed. They were warm memories. A time when her cold and distant mother became filled with life and came alive. She began to drift off and moved back into the main room of the house. Sitting at the table, she yawned and rested her head on her hands.

A blanket covered her shoulders, and her mother sat beside her, rubbing her back. She smiled, enjoying the release of her muscles and the warmth of the blanket across her shoulders. "I remember when you used to tell me stories," Masa said. She groaned and stretched, sitting up and facing her mother. "You are a different person when you do it."

Her mother frowned. "No, it's not that."

"Then why?"

"When I tell stories, I become who I once was. Before my world was destroyed."

"By the bombs?"

Her mother laughed. "No. By your father."

Masa frowned at the statement and was about to respond when Loretta returned, looking deeply troubled.

"The council will meet with you tomorrow morning," she said. "I will show you where you can sleep."