Goodbye

Paige stood in the hallway hugging herself, staring out the window at a large red leaf stiffly stirring in the crisp breeze. She had been watching that same leaf for several days now. The sole survivor of an unusually frigid Autumn. Each day she arrived to work, expecting it to have blown away. It stayed on, though, stubbornly clinging to the otherwise bare branch. Paige had begun to identify with that leaf. Perseverance despite a hostile environment. Unnoticeable amongst the crowd but stark now in its loneness.

It was only 12:22 PM but it could pass for late evening. A dark overcast November day. Post lunch it typically quieted down, but currently it somehow seemed oppressively slow. There had been the usual flurry of morning activity; breakfast, physical therapy, bath, delivery men parading in and out. Paige paced the hallway, overwhelmed at the abrupt dearth of immediate responsibility. The pumpkin spice candle Majole llit had their entire sectionreekng of sickly sweet cinnamon. It made her eyes water. Tumbleweed lay passed out at the desk, one of her dirty-blonde curls dangling down, wisped softly with each breath from her parted lips. She was hungover from the previous nights Happy Hour at her local tavern, she had admitted to them. Why do people imbibe, Paige had mused. It was poison. “Tsk-tsk” Majole commented, nodding in Tumbkeweed’s direction. “If Glenda comes down and sees that, she’s in for it.” “I know. But give her a break. She’s not feeling well, and things are slow.” Motion to her left caught Paige’s eye and she turned. Through the floor length windows bordering the far side of the dining hall she spotted a thin salt-and -pepper haired man coming up the walkway. Paige quickly swung herself around the corner and ducked into the tiny employee bathroom. Pulling the door nearly closed, she pushed her face up to the crack.

Majole looked up from her chatting, a look of pleasure spreading over her pudgy face. “Helio Dr. Strickland” she exclaimed. Dr. Strickland stepped into view, pulling off his scarf. “Hi there. I’m on a quick break and thought I’d come by and see mom.” “Aw,” Majole cooed adoringly. He tossed his scarf over his shoulder and looked about him. “She must be in her room,” he noted, before loping off down the hall to suite 113. “It smells good in here,” he called back over his shoulder. Paige waited until she was sure he was gone before exiting the bathroom. Her skin prickled, her chest tight. “What’s with you?” Majole asked, eyeing her critically. “Nothing. I’m fine,” Paige snapped, “but can we blow out that damn candle, already?It’s giving me a freakin headache.” “Dr. Strickland likes it,” Majole indignantly responded, but she labored up from her stool and blew it out. “Thank you,” Paige muttered. “Why are you in such a foul mood?” Majole demanded, hands on her meaty hips. Paige ignored he and turned away.

She had tried to be better. Sometimes a pat of her actually longed to be better. But certain people just begged to be disrespected.

A call light pierced the quiet, startling Tumbleweed awake. She she wiped drool from her mouth and blinked at the screen in front of her, in confusion. “Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Majole chided.

“Who is it?” Paige hesitantly asked. “Room 108. It’s mine. I will get it.”

“No, I’ll get it,” Paige said quickly. “Wake up, grab yourself some coffee, gal.”

Paige hurried off down the hall, grateful for the distraction. “Help dear,” Mrs. Andrews said sweetly, “Can you please bring me my remote?” Paige lingered in the room with Mrs. Andrews for a few minutes, fluffing her pillows and pouring her some water. As she was hurrying back to the nurses station she turned the corner and ran smack into Dr. Strickland. He grabbed her arm and took a step back. “Paige! There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Uh, yes, hi.”

“I came by to see mom, but she is fast asleep, like an angel,” Dr. Strickland smiled. “Hey, listen, I’ve got to run but I remembered what you had told me last time, about your knee bothering you. Well…” he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a small package. “Here you go.” Paige reluctantly accepted the package. “What is it?”

“We had some sale demos at the hospital for new product. They left us plenty of samples. I snagged that for you. It’s a top-of-the-line knee brace with gel inserts. Supposed to be pretty good.” He sang the last word and flashed her a big smile. Paige tried to hand it back to him, shaking her head. “No, don’t waste it on me. Give it to someone who deserves it.” Dr, Strickland put his hands up, refusing to accept it back. “Uh-uh, keep it. I saved it just for you. Listen sweetie, I gotta run. Enjoy it.” He squeezed her arm and slipped a note into her hand. Paige watched him lope down the hallway, calling out a polite goodbye to the other ladies. Page opened the note and rad it, then crumpled it into the pocket of her scrubs. She slowly made her way back to the station. Tumbleweed was standing there sipping coffee, eyeing her curiously. “Does he have a crush on you or what?” Majole said, sourly. Page tossed the package onto the nurses station. “Want a knee brace, Tumbleweed?” “Tumbleweed grabbed at the package, eagerly. “You don’t want it?” She asked, a note of disbelief in her voice. “WOW, this is quality. I could use this, thanks!”

“I told him that my wrist was hurting once, and he never gave me anything,” Majole whined.

“I’m skinny and pretty, Majole,” Page responded dryly. “I know that you are middle-aged, you can’t do anything about that. But you COULD choose to eat less ice-cream. Oh, and be less annoying. No-one likes an irritating, fat pig.”

A stunned silence ensued. Tumbleweed, who had been actively struggling to slip her long leg into the brace, stopped and looked up at her, mouth agape. Even Betty, a resident who had just wheeled herself up to the nurses station, regarded Paige with a look of horror.

“I’m nineteen-years old. He’s a 55 year old married man. He’s a scumbag. Get over him. Real talk.”

Paige grabbed her purse and headed for the door to the garden. Before exiting, she turned to address the room. “I’m taking my ten. Please, not another word on the matter when I return or I may kill someone.” She smiled at the speechless Majole before pushing the door open with her back, slipping out into the coldness of the garden. She could hear Majole just inside, loudly complaining. Paige lit a cigarette and stood there taking short, furious puffs. Just hours ago Paige had stolen over 10,000 dollars worth of cash and jewelry from Jane Strickland’s safe. She wondered how long it would go undetected. She had struggled with the temptation to do so for over a month, praying, begging, pleading with God to destroy the terrible monster of thievery inside of her, but He had ignored her plea.

Fuck it, then. Elderly Jane Strickland certainly had no use for the valuables and Dr. Strickland didn’t deserve them. He continually proved that. Page turned to look for that familiar leaf. She and that stupid leaf really were alike. Despite its persistent cling to its world, its life source, it was already dead and nothing could save it. She was already dead inside, despite still waking this earth, and nothing could save her either. Paige walked over to the maple and ripped the leaf from the branch, tossing it into the wind. It sailed off, then took an abrupt nose-dive into a pile of fellow leaf corpses, once again part of the crowd. “There, I did you a favor,” she whispered. Taking one last drag Paige stubbed out her cigarette and tuned to return back inside. Just before she reached the door, she stopped and tilted her head, squinting, as if that would somehow help her hear better in the wind.

If anyone had been watching that cute, quaint, Victorian style nursing home, , they would have seen a small, slight figure moving away from it. A lone, lost being in the forbidding elements, proceeding steadily forth, until it disappeared from sight, forever.