The church bells echoed through Belmont Massachusetts welcoming the whole town to join us on this special day. Goosebumps cover my body and my palms begin to sweat.
“I can’t do this.” I say out loud. “No, I can do this. Stay positive, I am about to spend the rest of my life with someone who adores me.”
Take a deep breath, Annie, I tell myself putting on my wedding veil and earrings. I can hear my heart pounding through the music outside the church doors. I stare at myself in the mirror, fixing my long-sleeved champagne silky dress and pressing my hands against my hips. Is this really happening? I close my eyes pinch myself, and realize this moment is what I’ve dreamt of my whole life.
My mother’s cold hands pressed against my back as she gave me a tight squeeze. With little drops of tears streaming down my naked spine, I didn’t rush this nor pull away. At that moment, I knew my mother felt she could let me go. She can allow someone else to love and protect me, and by doing so I will be safe. I am safe.
“I know you miss your father.” her voice cracks a little “Just remember if he were here, he’d be so proud of you Annie. You’re beautiful, you’re so loved, and you are blessed. He will be with you when you walk down the aisle. His holy spirit walks with us every day.”
This is it. I’m ready. My mother signaled the pianist with her goofy crooked thumbs up.
I gave my mother a kiss on her cheek. "Open the doors, please.” The church became silent almost like a funeral home besides the mourning part.
The instrumental version of “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri fills the silence that triples through the church’s nave. Family and friends stood watching me as I slowly walked down the aisle with my mother by my side, and as I made eye contact with a man who was once a stranger, then a friend, and now a lover, all of my anxiety slowly evaporated. We reached the altar and my mother held my hands tightly.
“Who gives this bride away?” asked the priest.
“The bride's mother, I do.”
“Thank you, mom. I will always need you.”
Suddenly, I became full. My stomach fills me with butterflies when we touch hands at the altar, almost like the first kiss. His eyes gloss as his soft wet lips kisses my hands and whisper softly “I love you.”
“Thank you all for coming here today, you may be seated.” The priest announced. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Today, Annie Davis and Cole Crotts proclaim their love to the world with these words.”
“Annie, you are beautiful in every way. Before I met you, I had no idea I was capable of loving someone this much. My life consisted of travel and freedom, and at some point, in my life maybe living on a sailboat. I thought I had everything I needed to make myself happy, but I also had nothing else to compare it to either. I was alone most of the time. Then you walked into my life and everything changed.
You taught me how to love and appreciate what I have. Without you my world is empty. It has no meaning. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you do that ridiculous 80’s dance on our third date at the karaoke bar. I promise to tell you when you’re wrong, but stick by you even when you are wrong. And, if you say yes in a few minutes I promise to spend the rest of our lives cherishing you, and filling your life with adventure.”
“Cole, before I met you my world revolved around one thing. Me. And it was comfortable that way, but when I met you, you saw through the barriers. You saw the real me. Unfortunately, you saw me at the lowest point in my life caring for my dying grandmother. She told me I picked a good one, and she was right. You are gentle and kind, you’ve challenged me in all ways to better myself, and that is one out of the many reasons why I love you.
Cole, you see the world and the beauty it has to offer. The way your face lights up when we travel to a new place and the crazy adrenaline you get when we set sail to our next destination always reminds me that you don’t take this world for granted. You’re the reason I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. You’ve seen every version of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The moments I felt doubtful about myself or our relationship, you’ve always pulled me back into the certainty that what we have built in the last seven years is real. God knew the right moment to bring you into my life. I prayed for you during the endless nights of loneliness, I prayed to be loved by someone who was going to hold me and wipe my tears away during times of pain, and sorrow. I prayed for you and God answered my prayers.”
I shed tears starring in the eyes of my future, he is everything I hope to be one day. Cole wipes away my tears with his fingers and continues to hold my hands as his smile widens.
“Forever and ever, my love.”
“God bless your vows for a lifetime after marriage.” said the priest. “Do you Cole take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness, and in health till death do us part?”
“I do.”
“Do you Annie take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness, and in health till death do us part?”
I lean in for a steady kiss without hesitation. “I DO.”
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