Simple Stupid

Quote from the novel Freeman by Leonard Pitts, Jr.

“People are just people, behaving according to how they've been taught, but that is no excuse for ignorant behavior. A [person] must not be defined solely by the things they have been taught. They must also be defined by their willingness and capacity to learn new and better things."

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Simple Stupid

“Life used to be simple. You were a boy – or you were a girl. You were white or you were colored. Everyone knew their place and knew the rules. It was simple then. Now we have every stupid letter of the alphabet LBQZ—soon there’ll be so many varieties they’ll run out of letters and have to start using numbers.” He paused, shook the paper to straighten it mumbling, “What is this world coming to?” and began reading again shaking his head and tsk-tsk-tsking at every word.

Was he just talking to me? Sally had just struggled to push her proper allowed small size carry-on, into a space that was even smaller. Something's wrong with this plan! She put her seatbelt on and leaned back with a heavy sigh, just as the man had begun talking. The woman on his right was looking out the window with headphones on.

I guess he was just talking to himself. She pulled the flight magazine out of the pocket in front of her and turned to the crossword. Yay it's blank! 

“Do you like those things there?”

She turned her head and looked at him. “Are you talking to me?”

“My mother used to do those all the time. I could never get into them, though I helped her with half of the clues, especially the science and history related ones. You like science and history?”

“Well, sorry, not really. I'm more on the literature side of things.”

“Literature,” he blew out air and swatted the word away like a nasty fly. “Yeah, I imagine story books can be fun and romantic and all that, but there's no truth in them you know what I mean? There's only truth in science and history and that's what I like —the truth.

“Okay,” she said slowly in the tone of a question. Can I go back to my crossword puzzle now? Happily, she realized she didn't have a pen and escaped to her purse on the floor between her legs. Fumble, fumble, fumble. Take your time, Please god, have him reading or even better yet, closing his eyes by the time I sit up.

“Take here, for example,” he was waiting for her to sit back up. He was pointing to the newspaper. “See this guy, Ted Carpenter? He’s such a moron. He doesn't know the facts. He doesn't understand how turned around this country has become—goddamn liberals, I tell you—what they want is Communism.”

Sally inhaled to speak or she gasped in horror, but it didn’t matter because he went right on with his monologue. “People who study the facts know better. Now see here? Ray Olsen. He's the only one on this oPINion (he said it sarcastically) page who knows what he's talking about!”

Sally squelched a cry out and turned it into a cough. I need to get away from this guy! But they had already announced that it was a full flight. She didn't want to be rude, despite wanting to chop his head off so she simply said, “Well, to each their own.” Cop out! But she was not in the debate mode. She was in the relax, have a little wine, listen to some music mode, and forget about everything for a while. 

She returned to the crossword. One across, three letters. Clue: ‘a nuisance’ She laughed out loud and wrote in the spaces M-A-N, even though she couldn't erase.

“I don't know about this ‘everyone to their own’. That's the problem.” The man said to the air in front of him. “Everyone's out there doing what they goddamn please and now there's chaos everywhere.”

Maybe if I freeze and don't say a word he'll get the point and Shut Up! No luck. He continued. “So I guess you're one of them liberals, huh? I can tell by your shoes. I bet you eat tofu and are all woke, like this guy, Ted Carpenter,” he pointed to the paper. “Always advocating to give free stuff to the lazy people, blah blah blah. Nobody wants to work any more! That’s the problem!”

Sally was past the point of no return and she had to make a decision. Tell him she needed to sleep or,…she made her decision.

“I don't like Ted Carpenter,” she said. “I LOVE Ted Carpenter!” She was in it now! She could hear him exerting frustrated air, and his body was getting tense and twisty. Careful don't make him explode! 

“Geez!” he said and turned his head right as if looking for an ally, but the other woman was under her blanket asleep or safely faking. I should've done that, but but no more hiding and no more sweet excuses to let the absurd carry on!

She continued. “And I despise the opinions of Ray Olsen, perhaps as much or even more than you despise Ted Carpenter’s. So what do we do with our disagreement? We can fight about it, or we can both lecture each other to deaf ears. I’d be happy to talk about their differences if you’d be willing.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Like I said, there’s facts and there’s stupidity. There’s nothing anyone can say to make me agree with the liberal bullshit that’s being pushed around everywhere.”

“Okay,” she said, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Great! I finally stifled him! She resumed her puzzle but then had an idea.

“You know,” she said. “My ex-husband was a fact man. A lawyer. Every time we had a fight, he’d treat me as if I were a member of the jury. ‘Let us look at the facts,’ he would say. The only thing though, is they were his facts, his truths, about what happened and they were not the same as mine. You see what I’m saying?”

“Well, yes, sort of, maybe. Listen,” he went on, “I think I came off a little strong there. You sat down right as I was reading this god damn—uh, well you know—I didn’t mean to take it out on you. You seem like a very nice lady.”

“Well, thank you. I think you’re a nice man as well. And news can be troubling some times.”

“Huh! You don’t have to tell me! “He agreed. 

“Well, at least we have that in common.”

“I’m Steve Lambert,” he said, offering his hand. She shifted the pen into her left hand and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Sally. Sally Adams.”

“Nice to meet you Sally. You live in Boston?”

“Near Boston. I was in Wisconsin for a teachers’ conference. One teacher from each school in each district was allowed to go and I was chosen. It was quite an honor. But now, I am responsible for typing up all the notes I was also responsible for taking, and then, I have to do a power point presentation for the rest of the staff.” 

“Wow, you must be smart, huh?”

“Well, I like to think I’m a good teacher. I actually consider myself more of a facilitator. I present students with information they need to learn and facilitate them in how to do the research. I don’t teach facts, per se, but how to find the facts and assess and use critical thinking skills.”

“Boy that all sounds all New Age to me. When I was in school, the teacher taught and we listened and we did what we were told. “

“My students do what they’re told, but rather than me telling them frogs are green, I teach them how to find out what color they are. That’s just a simple example, but I’m sure you get the point. “

“Yeah maybe.” There was a pause and then he asked, “Do you do morning prayer in your school?” 

“Well, every morning we say the Pledge of Allegiance, and then we have a minute of silence in which each student can pray or not pray in their own way. And then we begin our day. “

“What kind of school you teach in? What are the kids like?” 

“They’re adorable. I teach second grade and they are just so ambitious and curious at that age.”

“No, I mean, are there mostly white kids, colored?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know if that makes much of a difference, but I’d say a mixture of both. We also have Indian children, Latino children, some Asian. They’re all equally wonderful.”

“Yeah, sure, I bet. But I bet they’re not all equally smart. I bet the Asian kids must be the smartest.”

This was getting to be too much for Sally. She wanted to be nice and non-judgmental and ‘do her part’ in “world peace” ‘think globally, act locally’ by keeping the dialogue going, but his attitude was so disturbing. 

“How about you?” She tried to switch the conversation direction. “Do you live in Boston? 

“I live in Lynn, hear of it? I own an Ace Hardware there.” 

“Yes, I know Lynn. I pass through it to and from the airport.”

Another silent pause, as the cabin continued to hum. The drink service was just starting and she could just taste that white wine coming her way! 

They chatted some more and he was actually a nice man, but with a totally opposite way of thinking than her. How could anyone like Ray Olsen?! It was sad, because he was a popular news columnist, despite his homophobic views and often stating that the Holocaust was a hoax. He made excuses for President Peters’ despicable policies that lead Steve and others like him into believing Peters is a hero for stopping programs that prevent ‘the rich from people having to pay for poor lazy people.”

The wine came just in the nick of time Hallelujah! Steve had a scotch and soda and the woman at the window still didn’t budge. 

The person in front of Steve pushed her seat back and it made Steve’s drink spill a bit on his tray table. “Oh for Christ’s sake!’ He growled, wiping it up with his napkin. “Probably a liberal,” he said jokingly to Sally. 

Sally shook her head in disbelief. “Now, why would you say something like that? How can a statement like that be helpful to the world?”

“Oh, calm down there, Miss Sally. I was just joking. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Well maybe you didn’t mean anything by it, but I didn’t like it. There’s so much name calling in politics these days. I just heard a Senator from Louisiana say that the “tofu” people are just going to have to toughen up.”

Steve chuckled. “That’s a good one.”

“No, it’s not. Name calling should not be acceptable by adults, let alone politicians who are supposed to be for the people!”

“See? That’s the thing with you liberals, too god damn sensitive.”

“Now you’re making me mad Steve.” Steve laughed at her again and she took a large gulp of her wine. Then she said, “Steve, can I ask you something?”

“I’m married,” he said, smirking. 

Ugh! Gross! “Ha, ha. No, really. Earlier you said something about LBGTQ people.”

“Yeah, what of it? What? Now you’re going to tell me you find that offensive too? That you have friends that are gay, and they’re nice, right?”

“Well, all my friends are nice, and yes, one of them is gay. But so what? That’s my question, Steve. WHY, does it bother you?”

“Because it’s not natural, that’s why. You ever see two guys kissing? It’s disgusting!”

“But why? They’re not hurting you. Do you have children?”

“Yeah. Two sons. And I can tell you right now that if one of them ever came home and told me they like dudes, they’d be cut off forever!”

“That’s sad,” Sally said, shaking her head. 

“Damn right it’s sad! Like I said, this world is out of control.”

I tried. Sally finished her wine and turned to Steve. “Well, it’s been nice talking with you Steve, but I think I’d like to sleep out the last leg of the flight. “

“Sure, no worries. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

Sally smiled and thanked him. 

At the luggage carousel, they met up again. Steve was next to a woman his age who was smiling and straightening his collar. 

“Oh Cindy, there she is, the nice lady—the liberal I chatted with on the plane.”

“Oh Steve,” Cindy said. “Please don’t talk that way in public!”

“She doesn’t mind. She said so on the plane, didn’t you Sally?”

“Well, no, I, …” and just at that moment they were interrupted by a tall man in a flashy pink drag outfit waving and shouting “Yoo Hoo! Mom! Sally!”

“Oh Ben!” Sally shouted with glee and grabbed him in a huge hug as he approached. Steve and Cindy stood watching with their mouths hanging open.

“Ben, I want to introduce you to my seat mate from the plane and his wife. He’s a right winger,” she said to Ben, winking at Steve. “Steve, this is my son, Ben. He’s top of his class at MIT, in Nuclear Science and Engineering. And he’s gay! Can you imagine? All those brains behind such a pretty face!”

“Nice to meet you Steve.” Ben reached out his hand but Steve ignored the shake and barely nodded. “Nice to meet you,” he mumbled. “Well, we have to go. Let’s go! Hurry up Cindy!’ And quickly they were off. 

“I guess I scared him,”Ben said. 

“Yes,” Sally said. “He said he wants to go back to the days when life was ‘simple’. Sally made quote fingers at the word simple.”

“Simple stupid,” Ben replied and the two of them laughed hysterically, rolling the two suitcases, arm and arm toward the carport.