The Porchlight

 The Porchlight

    Ok, a story about an urban legend is nothing new. We’ve all heard them.  We all know at least one.  Every town has them.  But sometimes they are more than just a tale passed down through the generations. Sometimes they are more than an urban legend.  This is just that.  And, not only that, This legend changed my life.

     Every Halloween in the working-class city of Pittsburgh there is a middle-class neighborhood of Brookline.  It’s filled with hardworking families, most of which were employed by the local steel mills or large downtown corporations that kept this steel town buzzing.  This holiday has always been fun for kids and adults alike in the tree-lined, leave-covered cobblestoned streets boasting of historic homes.  Jack-O-Lanterns glowing in the dark, spooky skeletons hanging from tree limbs, witches appearing in windows and from around corners and every single front porch light turned on inviting any and all trick or treaters. This was the ultimate celebration of Halloween anywhere.  But the Halloween of 1984 although spooky, cold, breezy, and so much candy the kids could hardly carry it, would become part of an urban legend that we were told throughout our childhood. In fact, it seemed to be transpiring into a horrible truth right before our eyes.

     Growing up we were always told stories about the Boogy Man and we shouldn’t go into the woods after dark. But the creepiest part was when they told us about an area at the end of our street that appeared to be woods, but had a clearing about a mile in, which lead up to what looked like an old mine shaft.  We were told to absolutely never go near those woods, the clearing, and especially the mine shaft.  Our parents would never tell us why, but would just tell us to stay away from there.  It was extremely dangerous.  Well, kids being kids and our trick-or-treat bags being full, we decided to meet at the end of our street at ten o’clock. My best friend Jan, her brother Johnny and my little brother Jax, who always tagged along.  We decided to see what all the urban legend talk was about.  We got to the entrance of the woods around ten.  The temperature had dropped and it was freezing.  The wind picked up and the leaves were blowing all around us.  It even appeared to be darker than usual for some reason.  We almost turned around to go back to my house, but Jax took off running.  I guess trying to prove that he wasn’t afraid.  As I called out to him what sounded like a giant owl hooted out in the darkness and we all screamed.  We caught our breath and kept chasing after Jax.  It seemed like we were running forever.  Nothing but darkness and dried fallen leaves crushing under our feet.  We only had one flashlight between us.  Hearts pounding and out of breath, we kept on yelling for Jax.  Just then I look up and saw him.  There he was and there was the entrance to the old coal mine shaft that our parents had warned us to stay away from for years.  And Jax was running right into it.  We stopped.  I pointed the flashlight, yelled his name, and begged him to stop.  Jax kept going.  Then the strangest thing happened.  The mine seemed to put off an amber glow and then go dark again.  We hesitated for a moment, then ran to grab Jax, putting our fear and all warnings and legends behind us.  As we stepped toward the old mine shaft and called to Jax we heard his voice softly say,” help me” 

     But when we tried to walk into the mine, the entire entrance was blocked with stones.  Stones that a moment ago were not there.  “How did this happen?”

     We looked at each other in disbelief, screaming, yelling, and crying for Jax.  Looking around we tried to pull at the stones and they wouldn’t budge.  It was as if they were cemented together.  I became hysterical.  We all did.  The wind was picking up.  Leaves blew all around us, and our only flashlight blinked on and off.  We kept calling out to Jax, but he did not answer. Screaming and crying we ran down the mile-long path and up the street to my house.  We busted through the door and ran to mom and dad who were sitting on the sofa eating popcorn and watching television.  “Jax is gone!” We screamed!

     They finally got us to calm down enough to explain what happened and the police were called.  We all spent the entire night at the mine shaft.  We told our story over and over.  We and our entire neighborhood searched for my eight-year-old brother Jax for weeks.  There were no signs of him, not even his big bag of Halloween candy.  Jax never would never let that bag go.  Wherever my brother went, he took that bag with the bats on it with him.  Especially after all the walking, we had done to earn our treats.  He wouldn’t have left that candy anywhere.

     After months of searching for Jax, and the mine being blocked with stones, the search was called off.  Jax was listed as a missing person in our town and our life was never the same.  It became something that we didn’t talk about.  Mom and dad just couldn’t handle it. Halloween was never celebrated at our home throughout the rest of my childhood again.  Our porchlight remained dark.  I understand but part of me felt responsible and I always wanted to flip that light on and place a Jack O Lantern on the porch, just in case Jax was trying to find his way home.  But I never dared…

     Years went by, high school graduation, no Jax, college graduation, no Jax, there was always an empty place in my heart, and in mom and dads.  When upon coming home after graduating from college, they sat me down and said that they were leaving.  They had bought an R.V. and wanted to just travel free and were giving me our family home.  I was stunned,  I didn’t know what to say.  I felt as though staying here was too painful for them and maybe they felt as though in some way they would be out in the world free., searching for Jax and I would be here at home just in case… Jax came home...  

     The next morning mom and dad packed and pulled out of the driveway in their R.V. waving as they drove down our street I was desperately missing them already.  What was I going to do here alone in this three-story house all by myself?  I decided to run to the store to pick up some groceries, and some wine.  That’s when it hit me, Halloween is right around the corner. Pumpkins were everywhere, and the stores were full of costumes, Halloween candy, and everything fall. Yikes!  I grabbed my wine, and some microwave meals and went to get in line, when I just was overcome with this feeling.  I got out of line, went, and picked out the biggest pumpkin that I could find, tons of candy, and just about every Halloween decoration that the store had.  I got back in line, checked out, and excitedly made my way back home. 

     That first night of being alone in the house was strange.  I ended up falling asleep on the sofa with m glass of wine and a half-eaten meatloaf dinner.  I awoke freezing with all the windows open, and the wind blowing the wind chimes fiercely back and forth on the front porch.  I jumped up and grabbed mom’s granny square afghan and quickly closed all of the windows.  I needed a good strong cup of coffee, so I headed to the kitchen. But, no coffee.  I decided to throw on my jeans and sweater and run to town for a coffee. Walking through the brisk air and falling leaves was exhilarating and yet left me feeling melancholy.  I kept shuffling through the wet leaves and daydreaming about so many things. In no time at all, I arrived at A Cup a Jo’s coffee house. Well, that’s when Halloween hit me smack dab in the face.  Pumpkin everything.  I head up to the counter and the barista  said, “Happy Halloween, how about a pumpkin  spice latte with a pumpkin muffin?”

     I just opted for a large latte, no pumpkin spice, bought a pound of ground coffee, and quietly exited A Cup a Jo’s.

     It had started drizzling on the way back home so my usual shuffling through all of the fallen leaves had to be sped up a bit.  I got back home and was freezing and wet.  I put a pot of coffee on and decided to run a bath and plan the rest of this day.  After all, it was Halloween…  

     Mid-afternoon,  the wind blowing, cloudy, and leaves blowing through the air.  I sat on the front porch swing for a bit looking out over the neighborhood.  Pumpkins, and Halloween decorations everywhere, scarecrows, witches, ghosts, spiders, and webs, all this amongst the blowing leaves.  It finally hit me.  It was time.  I gathered up all of the bags of decorations I had picked up, searched for the tape and tacks, and after a little over an hour created a perfectly spooky Halloween setting.  I had my huge bowl of mixed candy for the trick or treaters. Everything was just right except, I had to carve the pumpkin.  I worked on that best that I could, just two triangle eyes, a nose, and a jagged mouth.  I found a candle in the hall closet, placed my jack-o-lantern proudly on the front stoop.

     It had been six years since Halloween happened in our home, but I was doing it.  Oh… One last thing the porch light had to be flipped on.  As I walked over to the light switch a flash of Jax’s face entered my mind.  It was always his job to flip the light on,  I flipped it on, grabbed a chocolate bar from the giant plastic pumpkin bowl, and made my way to the living room.  I was planning on a night of popcorn, ice cream, wine, and a spooky movie maybe…

     I was about halfway through the first Halloween movie, something about a haunted house, of course, when I heard a tapping on the front door,  I muted the television.  Tap, tap, tap, there it was again.  I faintly heard trick or treat.  I jumped up spilling my popcorn, opened the door, and there stood one trick or treater with some sort of strange mask and burlap sack sort of looking costume.  “Trick or treat,” he said.

     “Oh, you’re my first one”

     He didn’t say a word.  He held out his bag that seemed full, and I gave him a handful of candy.  He didn’t say thanks or anything.  I told him happy Halloween, smiled and made my way back to my goofy movie and my next glass of wine.  After a few minutes, tap, tap, tap on the door. I then hear a faint trick or treat.  I walked over and grabbed my candy bowl and I opened the door.  One trick or treater.  The same boy.  Strange vintage-looking plastic mask and a burlap sack that covered him from his head to his knees, and dirty old sneakers.  He repeated, “Trick or Treat.”

     He opened his bag of candy and I put some more in.  He just stood there.  It was strange.  I felt a chill come over me.  I told him happy Halloween again and closed the door.  This time locking it.  I head back to the sofa, and before I even sit down, the lights flicker, the television shuts off, and my candle blows out. “What the heck was going on?”

     Tap, tap, tap. I hear the soft tapping on the door.  I just stood in the front hall, in the dark with chills, wondering what was going on.  Tap, tap, tap, trick or treat.  There was that same voice, just a little louder and seemingly impatient.  I found my way to the door and there he was.  The same trick or treater. “Trick or treat”

     He held out his bag and this time when I went to put candy in it, I looked closely and was stunned...I had seen this bag before.  The masked boy stepped toward me and said, “Happy Halloween sissy, thank you for flipping the light on.”                                                                 He came toward me and dropped the old and tattered bag of candy and I instantly knew that was my brother’s black bats trick-or-treating bag from that terrible night that I had last seen him.  My heart was pounding.  Someone must have been pranking me.  I felt terrified.  I tried to run back into the house, when he grabbed my wrist and began to remove his mask, he dropped it onto the wet cement porch.  Our eyes met and my heart felt as though it stopped.  He softly said to me, “sissy, it’s me, Jax…”

     I can’t speak, can’t move.  This is impossible! This can’t be my brother.  He disappeared six years ago. This boy is around Jax’s age when he disappeared.  I thought to myself.  I must be dreaming.  Just then he reached out his hand and pointed to the porch light and softly said,” I was so lost, so far away from home, but sissy you finally flipped the porch light on.  I found my way home.”

Cynthia Joyner