Contest #140 winner 🏆

151 comments

Fiction

Can you hear me?


I remember being reborn a thousand times.


In the between-times, and at the very start and end of a life, the memories are strong. I remember the warmth of the sun on my crumpled wings as they unfold for one brilliant bright day of flight. I relive the elation of the chase and the sinking of my teeth into the throat of my prey- what a joy it is to satisfy physical hunger. I recall the agony of being prey, because of course, all things must balance out in the end. My heart has pumped cold blood through sinuous coils and thumped its warm-blooded rhythm from ocean depths.


Like you, I am the sum of a million experiences.


It’s true that the messy, bloody rebirth into the world as a human stuns me every time. The shock of union as soul re-joins body. The violent expulsion through the birth canal. The startling sensation of air on skin, after an age of ethereal floating. The instinctive gasp, that first mortal wail. And so it begins again, and I’m here at the start of a new life.


You and I are not here together by chance. Karma pulls souls with the persistence of a river to the place they belong. For those not yet enriched enough by suffering- well, fate always finds a way to make things fair. I’ve lived my share of troubled lives, and I’ve mostly learned how to transcend them by serving my purpose with patience and compassion. Karma is as undeniable as gravity, and we must exist in harmony with it. This is how the warp and weft of the universe is woven.


When it was time to begin again, I was drawn to my mother over all others. What pattern has been set out for us I can’t yet say. As she grew the miraculous mass of stardust and water that became my body, I surrounded her with my energy until she shone. Then I sunk, as sure as an anchor dropping, into the tiny infant form that will now grow and carry me through this life. I’m only a few days old and I’m waiting to be both teacher and learner. I’m eager to meet the other embodied souls whose lives are entwined with mine.


I sleep a lot. I dream of the coloured currents of bliss in the supernatural soup from which we come. I wake and the ancient sensation of hunger drives my little body into a rage. I'm not yet skilled in exercising the intricate pathways of my brain, and I squirm and grunt with frustration. My body feels cumbersome. These early days are both familiar and vexing, as I remember the restrictions and the pleasures of flesh. My new senses thrill at the smell and sound of my mother as she comforts me, and my immature eyes learn to focus on her face. I wonder at the journey she is taking and the role I will play.


Soon, all the memories from before will fade and I’ll be fully immersed in the point of time and space my body occupies. I’ll only know the world around me through my mortal senses. I’ll forget how sunlight felt on my wings, and will long only for the warmth of my mother’s body. The desire to satisfy hunger will only bring memories of milk, not blood. It will take time to relearn the workings of the natural world. I’ll have a simple, finite sense of self. I’ll no longer know where body becomes soul, and where soul becomes eternity.


Echoes of past lives will emerge, as they always do. Brutal urges to survive at the expense of others, perhaps. Humanity can be as ugly as it is sublime. We’ve all expressed violence and selfishness, especially in early lives. I’ll have no notion of where these forces come from, but I’ll be measured by how I channel them. I wonder if the wisdom I’ve gained will persist strongly enough in my subconsciousness to prevail.


But for now, having just arrived, still settling into this soft seedcase of flesh, I remember everything. I am wiser that my parents could ever comprehend, yet helpless to communicate a word of it to them.


My parents have placed me in your arms, excited to introduce us. They are anxious to check that that the crook of your fragile elbow is supporting my head. Your embrace is stiff and awkward, but it accommodates my weight.


He’s such an easy baby, my mother tells you.


We’re naming him after you, Dad, my father says. Who do you think he takes after?


You peer into my face, pull a doubtful expression. Well, I don’t know, you begin.


We gaze at each other, mutually intrigued, and my parents are struck by how we appear simultaneously serious and serene. They marvel at the beauty of the very old cradling the very young. We are alike, you and I. We have in common the love of my parents, and we hold a symmetry by being at the two opposing ends of life; bookends with a library of experience between us. You lift a sinewed hand and stroke the curve of my cheek.


I see how you are coming to the end of your journey. Your body has become a husk, ready to release you back to the universe. You’re starting to remember the unseen ocean of energy that surrounds us. I can sense your longing to return to it, your desire to be free again. The years went by so quickly, you think, as you almost remember eternity and understand that your brief time is no more than the blink of an eye.


But you’re still so strongly tethered to this life. The jangling currents of pain in your aged nerves serve as kite strings, constantly bringing you back to your body. The unfulfilled wishes and wants of the years weigh heavily in you. You are afraid, because you can’t yet see anything beyond. It makes you bewildered and resistant. You’re stuck.


This will be my first purpose then. To help you remember what happens next, to reassure you that you can let go as soon as you’re ready. I’m here now, and I’ll comfort my mother and father when you’re gone.


Can you hear me?


I don’t know who he takes after, you say. But I see an old soul behind those eyes.

April 03, 2022 14:47

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151 comments

Dora Acosta
18:44 Apr 15, 2022

Your prose in this piece is lyrical and captivating. I loved the line, "Humanity can be as ugly as it is sublime." Well done, and congrats on your win!

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04:26 Apr 16, 2022

Thank you very much for your thoughts Dora, much appreciated.

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18:41 Apr 15, 2022

Cogratulations! Well deserved. I knew you'd win ;)

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04:27 Apr 16, 2022

Gabriela, you should see the ridiculous grin on my face 😂

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04:48 Apr 16, 2022

Happy grin? 😬 Unbelieving grin? 😧 Silly grin? 🤪 I hope you’re happy because you deserve that win. Congratulations again! I knew you’d win, the moment I finished reading your story. That is why I said that your story was the best piece I’d read so far on this website. I’m so satisfied I was right about it. You should see my grin now 😝😛🤩

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Irene Ivy
17:03 Apr 15, 2022

Very thought provoking! Truly well done!

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04:27 Apr 16, 2022

Many thanks Irene!

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Alize Henry
17:00 Apr 15, 2022

Congrats on your win L. "Old Soul" is intriguing and entertaining. I enjoyed the story.

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04:28 Apr 16, 2022

Thanks Alize, I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.

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Elisa Bob
16:55 Apr 15, 2022

Beautiful and profound.

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04:28 Apr 16, 2022

Elisa, thanks so much.

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Charlene Simon
16:44 Apr 15, 2022

Congratulations on your win🤗🤗🤗❤️ It's a beautiful story.

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04:28 Apr 16, 2022

Thank you so much Charlene!

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Suma Jayachandar
16:38 Apr 15, 2022

The theme of this brilliant story is so rooted in my native culture, it gave me goosebumps reading it! Beautiful narrative throughout. Congratulations on your well deserved win!

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04:29 Apr 16, 2022

I’m honoured by your feedback. Thank you so much Suma.

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Zelda C. Thorne
16:23 Apr 15, 2022

Beautiful style of writing. I found it quite poetic and mystical. The link between baby and grandparent was very touching. Congrats on the win! 👏🎉

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04:30 Apr 16, 2022

Rachel, thanks so much for commenting, I appreciate it.

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16:22 Apr 15, 2022

Hello L. Maddison! This is a beautiful story and I really enjoyed it! Congrats on the win!!

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04:30 Apr 16, 2022

Hi Diego, so glad you enjoyed it and thanks for your feedback.

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Kelly Tarver
16:11 Apr 15, 2022

I am not going to dissect any part of this. It was poetic from start to finish. I could not stop the tears as I thought of the day I introduced my newborn grandson to my mother, now imagining both of their internal dialog at this beautiful meeting. Thank you for this!

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04:31 Apr 16, 2022

Hi Kelly, what a beautiful comment. My heartfelt thanks.

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Oh my gosh this won!!! I liked this a while ago and thought it was a great story but now I've come back to comment because you did such a great job! Congratulations, amazing work!

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04:31 Apr 16, 2022

Thank you so much Kate!

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Eric Falvey
21:45 Apr 13, 2022

This is brilliant on many different levels. Firstly I’m a huge fan of the personal/ introspective/ philosophical narrative. It’s vivid and deep, and extremely nuanced. I’ve read it 3 times over and every time I’ve found something new that just blows my mind. The little verbal portraits, the similes, it all blends together really really well. Job well done here.

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06:52 Apr 14, 2022

Hello Eric Thanks so much for your feedback, I really appreciate your thoughts on this.

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16:51 Apr 13, 2022

Wow. I am blown away. I can't even begin to describe how much I've enjoyed your piece. I had to stop and re-read almost every sentence, trying to wrap my brain around each idea and image. What a wondrous mind and imagination you must have. And of course, the talent to put those thoughts on paper in such a way. I wish I could single out a sentence I love the most, but there are too many of them. I am a Christian and don't believe in reincarnation, but your exceptionally beautiful piece makes me wonder... That old soul sure does make one po...

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18:20 Apr 13, 2022

Hey Gabriella A heartfelt thanks for your feedback. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading it! Thank you 😊

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18:35 Apr 13, 2022

You're most welcome, L. I don't know who you are, if you're a man or a woman - your bio is mysterious as well - but I'm going to call you "the Philosopher." :) Have a great, productive day. Wherever you are.

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Becca Ward
10:18 Apr 11, 2022

This is a beautiful exploration of life! In particular, I liked this sentence: "We have in common the love of my parents, and we hold a symmetry by being at the two opposing ends of life; bookends with a library of experience between us." Bookends! Yes. Life as a library. Yes! Lovely read.

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18:14 Apr 11, 2022

Hi Becca Thanks so much for reading and commenting, always so helpful to hear what stands out to others.

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J.C. Lovero
16:13 Apr 10, 2022

Hello L! I enjoyed how this story flowed, almost like a stream of consciousness as the narrator was reborn into yet another life. I’ve often believed I myself am and old soul, and I appreciated how you so poetically captured this in your story!

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18:13 Apr 10, 2022

Hello J.C. Old souls are a precious gift to have around! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

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Shannon Patch
14:59 Apr 16, 2022

Beautifully written! I was with my grandmother when she died, just a few months after I had given birth to my daughter. I have always been struck by the similarities of the two experiences - easing one person into this world, and another out of it. Can’t wait to read more from you!

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Mindy Baker
03:17 Apr 19, 2022

I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with my lover for 6 years and we were about to get married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask for a break and we both agreed, after 4 months I head that he was having an affair with my friend Emily and I was very upset and worried so a friend of mine advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Great Jumba the spell caster and I did although I never be...

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