The Burden of Guilt

A horrendous stench overwhelmed Lance as he grudgingly wedged himself in through the broken side door into the dilapidated, abandoned factory. Here will be where it happens. He’d relentlessly worked for almost a year to pull this off.

He wondered if hell smelled as atrocious.

The repulsive stink assaulting his senses was even stronger in their offices. As he walked through that area, he remembered it rained hard a few months prior. All that water must have allowed for the birth of something to come forth inside this pit. The putrid waft of its abject decay told of its demise.

Murky and musty were two more words that came to mind as he entered what had once been the warehouse. The fetid odor of rot persisted and could almost be felt.

This will be a good place to meet the devil.

He had been here earlier in the week. He needed plenty of open space. What he found online about this place made him think what it had might be enough. He came to look and it seemed to be what was required. Not being near any locals was good too. He didn’t want to have to deal with spectators.

Lance lit the propane lantern he brought out of his backpack. He had thought about candles, which were mentioned a lot in the lore about this. But he didn’t find anything about them that made them seem special. Their purpose was light.

That led to a thought. He looked all over some more, but couldn’t find anything to establish or debunk his infant theory. He surmised the devil existed before wax. Since, on that given day, Lance was now living in the 23rd century, so if the candle’s only purpose was light, the devil should have no issues with a propane lantern. He thought. He hoped.

He knew what he wanted. Once he got it, his soul would be gone. From everything he read, he kept possession while still alive, but at death, it wouldn’t be his anymore. It would be gone forever in the possession of the devil. He was eager to make the trade.

Nancy was dead. His wife was what he treasured most on earth. She was dead because of him. It was all his fault. The weight of that truth was enormous. This was the wrong he needed to make right. Regardless of cost. Eternal damnation was something he was ardent to pay to get Nancy back.

His soul left him when she died. If he could get her back for however long, eternity in hell without it would be the same.

How to meet with the devil to sell your soul wasn’t something you could just google. He needed to dig deep for data, for knowledge, in places not easy to find. Probably on purpose.

It took nearly a year of looking. He wouldn't back out now. Not that it would absolve him of his sin. He needed to bring Nancy back. He needed to right that wrong.

Blood would be needed for the markings to be inscribed on the ground. He tried to extract enough of his own blood but that would always make him weak. And given how much he would need, he thought it would take another year of extracting to get enough.

He read about, here and there, everywhere he could, that had info on this process. He wanted to see if the blood had to be his own. He did find that at times, in this text or that, for certain purposes, that would have been necessary. But this blood was just to call Satan forth. Nothing too special, it didn’t need to be his own.

He didn’t see anything that specified it needed to be human blood, so he got the blood from a blood bank for animals. Those places don’t have tight security, the one at the local college campus, as it turned out, was very easy to get into.

He marked out the two triangles. It was almost funny that he needed to mark out two triangles , because that would give what he drew six points, just like the Hebrew Star of David. It was funny only to him, but still, pretty funny.

Once the symbol had been drawn, he placed the earth from the graves of the three righteous in the right spots, then the earth from the graves of three hell bounds in their spots.

It was somewhat surprising that he didn’t need to say or do anything else. No incantations, no sacrificing virgins, nothing. He tried to find if there was anything else, but couldn’t find anything. It just said Satan would be called forth. He would appear.

Nothing about how long it might take. It’d been about ten minutes since the markings were drawn and the earth from graves placed, but still no devil.

He went over the steps he needed. He'd done them all. He reached into his backpack for his notebook. That was when he saw what he had forgotten. The bull’s head. It was still waiting to be placed.

It was easy to procure that bull’s head at the same place he got the blood. Those school labs have pretty weak security. Placing the spikes, while not pleasant, was not hard.

Once the head was placed, he stood up. He glanced at his watch to see how long it took.

“The time is twelve minutes past midnight.”

Lance’s skiing crawled. He jumped up and turned around to look at the speaker of the voice.

“I saw you checking your watch. I was just telling you the time. Trying to save you the effort. I know I’m not supposed to be nice. I don’t always live up to my fame.”

Lance was startled to see someone, or something before him. Was this the devil? “Are you he?”

“Am I who?” He started to laugh.

“Are you the devil?” Lance didn’t know what else to say.

“Oh, then yes. I am. Pleased to meet you.” He extends his arm out in a friendly manner for them to shake hands. “You can call me Lucifer.”

Lance slowly shook his head at the devil but didn’t shake hands.

“Some are eager to shake my hand. Others afraid.” The devil’s comment seemed to bother Lance, who started to turn away. The devil drew his attention as he waved his finger suggesting he didn’t agree. “Fear is understandable. I am something to be afraid of.”

Lance shook his head again. “I’m not scared.”

Lucifer started to snicker. “Who are you trying to impress? You’re terrified. You're driven by guilt.” He reached into his smartly tailored jacket and pulled out a cigarette holder and put one in it. “Many aren’t eager to meet me.” He lit up.

“I want Nancy back.”

“Your wife.” Lucifer sucked in a deep drag as he strutted past Lance before turning back casually. “I’ve been expecting your request. You put in a lot of effort to meet me. What will you cost?”

Lance was looking down. He spoke quietly. “She shouldn’t have died.”

“That doesn’t matter.” The devil started to chuckle again. “She’s dead. Answer my question.”

Lance crossed his arms before looking at Lucifer. “I didn’t know the rate was negotiable.”

The devil lets out a loud and boisterous laugh. “It isn’t, but some like to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending. I know why I’m here.”

Lucifer put one fist to his hip as he started walking around Lance, looking at him inquisitively. “You are quite the mess my friend. I can’t tell if your crossed arms are a self hug seeking comfort or if you’re just trying to mask insecurity.” He finished his loop around Lance then started pointing at him with one hand while he took another drag with the other. “Of course, if you start touching your neck repeatedly then your anxiety has given birth to more fear.”

Lance looked up more determined now. “In exchange for my soul, I want Nancy back.”

The devil nodded his head then crossed his arms. He seemed to be staring at the ground, but without turning, he looked up at Lance.

“For how long shall this be?”

“What?”

“For how long do you want her back?”

“There’s a time limit? We had forever before.”

Lucifer started to snicker again. “You know you didn’t.” He waved an arm about as if to present the shitty ambiance of the room. “Why else would you bring me here?” He walked over to Lance, quieter and more serious. “But, when you get her back from me, you will be with her, for however long you say. Your presence with her will be your existence. That’s all you’ll know. When that time comes to an end, she’ll be gone and you’ll be in hell.”

“No. I don’t want that.”

“Please. I’m having trouble understanding your anguish. You get Nancy back and I get your soul. What else did you think would happen?”

“I just wanted her back. We’d go on living our lives like we would. Just living. I just wouldn’t let her death be my fault. For the rest of our lives, I’d just make sure she was ok.”

“Oh!” The devil started laughing loudly. “I get it now. You don’t want her back. You just want to get rid of your guilt.” He laughed some more and started eagerly nodding his head. “I can do that.”

Lance was shaking his head with more force now. “No! I want her back. You can have my soul after I die, I just want her back.”

The devil shrugged. “Ok then. I repeat the question you still haven’t answered. How long?”

“That is just so much more to think about. If I say 50 more years, can you do that?”

“How long doesn’t matter. I just need you to specify a time.”

“Why?”

“That’s how long you have before your soul is gone. That’s a rule even I have to follow. Someone that gives up their soul needs to know what they gave it up for. So sayeth the rules.” Lucifer acted as if annoyed to be telling this again. “So I ask once more. How long?”

“I just thought it would be the rest of our lives, however long that was.”

“I can make it so you don’t know how long you’ll be together.”

“So it isn’t real then?”

“It will be to you.”

“That’s when you get my soul, right, when I die. While I live, I get to keep it?”

“Yes. But you already knew that. You already said that.”

“I can be like that. Some things I just want confirmed.”

“Anything else?”

Lance nodded as walked away for a few steps before he turned back. “This is how I want you to do it. Bring me back to the day before she died.”

“No.”

“But that’s what I want.”

“You said you wanted Nancy back.”

“But this how!”

“That isn’t how this works.”

“But this is what I want.”

“You said you wanted Nancy back.”

“I do, but this is how.” Lance started fervently shaking his head then stopped and got sorrowful. “This is why.” He was almost in tears. ”Me not driving her to LA is what got her to take that flight that crashed. If I had driven, she'd still be here. It can’t be my fault she’s dead! I want to drive her so she doesn’t fly. That’s what I want.”

“When you get her back from me she doesn’t have to fly. Same thing. How long do you want?”

“No! I don’t want you to bring her back from the dead. Put me back in time, to the day before she got on that plane. I don’t want her to die at all.”

The devil started smiling as he slightly shook his head. “That isn’t how this works. Tell me how long and you’ll get her back. You can tell yourself whatever you want. I don’t care.” He walked up to Lance and put a hand on his shoulder. “Just tell me how long you want and she’ll be back in your arms. Isn’t that what you dreamt about last night?”

“I dream about that every night.”

“I know.”

“I need for her to not have died. Send me back in time.”

The devil raised his eyebrows as he met Lance’s eyes. “Even if I could, that isn’t what you want. You just want to be free of guilt.” He then took out another cigarette and put it in the holder then lit it.

“What do you mean you can’t? Just send me back.”

“I don’t know what episode of Twilight Zone you saw, but I can’t control time.”

“Then you aren’t any good to me. I just want to go back.”

The devil started to nod his head as he laughed. “Wow, you are some piece of work. It wasn’t easy for you to find out how to reach me. Usually, when someone goes to that effort, they know what I can do and then ask for that.” He crossed his arms as he continued to laugh. “All that trouble for nothing. You thought I could control time.”

“I just wanted her back.” Lance was again almost in tears.

“Stop lying to yourself. You wanted to sell your soul for guilt. That’s all. It wasn’t for love.” He reached into his suit’s inner pocket then handed Lance a business card. “I’m not trying to suggest that you didn’t love her. But we both know your love for her isn’t why you wanted to sell your soul.”

Lance shook his head as he looked at the card he was given. “What’s this for?”

“When someone takes the effort to find me, it usually isn’t for just that one time. We’ll meet again. You know how to find me.”

Lance rips up the card. “This was for love.” He then turned to reach for his backpack. After he grabbed it and slung it over one shoulder. He looked back up but saw no one else in the room.