A Reason to Like the Holidays

This, Horen thinks as he glares at his email, this is why I hate the holidays.

He doesn’t even really celebrate them.  At most he does a festive lunch with friends which may or may not include a kris kringle depending on how well everyone’s doing money-wise.  Last year, he mixed it up by having a small ‘early Christmas’ with Jeremy before Jer left for his annual family get-together and that was the most festive Horen’s been in… well, ever actually.

This year Jer decided they should spend Christmas together, and together they’d decided to spend it with Jer’s family.  It wasn’t a difficult decision to make but Horen would be lying if he said it wasn’t nerve-wracking. He’s only met Jer’s mum and sister so far, and he’s still not convinced Jer’s sister likes him.  To go from that to meeting all of Jer’s family ever is more than a little terrifying.  

What if he messes up?  What if they hate him? What if Jer realizes how incredibly awkward and unsure he was when it comes to ‘family’ in general and decides actually, no Horen isn’t the person he wants to spend the rest of forever with?

Lucy says he’s overreacting, but Horen thinks they’re all incredibly valid worries and things to spend all day worrying about.

So he has a game plan for making sure Jer’s family likes him.  Step number one on that gameplan is making sure he gets Jer the perfect gift.  Obviously, he’d want to do that anyway but, this year, it comes with the bonus of all of Jer’s family seeing how well Horen knows him and how perfect Horen is for him.  That way they’ll have to like him.

This entire plan hinges on Horen having the perfect gift.  And he did!  He found these adorable little crotched crows that Jer would just love.  They’re his favourite animal and in such adorable prepositions.  As soon as Horen saw them he knew they’d be perfect, that on Christmas day Jer would open them and just start bailing.  Which, now that he thinks of it, probably isn’t the goal you’re meant to have when giving your partner presents but Jer’s just really emotional okay!  It’ll be happy tears!

The only problem was the price.

See Horen’s often finds himself living paycheck to paycheck, and he found the little crows right in the middle of the pay-week when he really, really didn’t have the money to spend.  He thought he’d be an adult and bookmark the page, waiting until payday to buy them.

That was a mistake.

Jer and he leave tomorrow.  He needs his gift here and wrapped before they leave tomorrow.  The crows aren’t going to be here for at least another month.

According to the email he’s just gotten, the artist is backed up with orders and they can’t keep up.  Which means there’ll be a decent delay on shipping the product, and then the shipping itself will take at least a week.  There is literally no possible way these crows are going to come in time.  

“This can not be happening.”  Horen groans, burying his head in his hands.  It’s not the artist’s fault, because how is a single person meant to keep up with their product being surprisingly popular.  Horan should have just bought them when he found them, who needs lunch anyway.

Groaning again, Horen wonders if the strength of his regrets and worries can make him travel back in time.  He can not show up to Christmas without a present for Jer.  Sure, Jer would get it. Jer would probably grin and say ‘great! Christmas will last longer!’ but Jer’s family will definitely judge him.  They’ll see Horen doesn’t have a gift and think he’s a horrible boyfriend who definitely doesn’t deserve Jer. Horen cannot let that happen.

But how is he going to get a perfect gift so late?  Anything he finds online will take too long to ship.  Which means…

“I have to do it.”  Horen sighs. “I have to go to the shops.”

Horen doesn’t like going shopping at a normal time of year.  He hates being around that many people and trying to make awkward small talk with the cashier and constantly worrying about if other people are judging him.  Just, the entire experience is horrible.

Shopping at Christmas?  Oh boy, that’s like normal shopping times a thousand.  There is a reason Horen does all his Christmas shopping online.

But if he wants to get Jer any type of gift, let alone the perfect gift, he has to face his worst fear - other people.

He also has to do it like, right now because Jer’s not going to be at work forever and Horen wants to be at least a little subtle about how late he had to get the gift.

With that in mind, Horen throws on his favourite hoodie, his nicest pair of jeans, and grabs his wallet and keys.  He checks the front door twice before walking down to the closest bus stop… only to realize he has a ten-minute wait because he didn’t bother to check the time table before he left the house.

“Could today get any worse?”  Horen sighs. 

Twelve-minutes later the bus finally shows up and Horen learns that yes, today can get worse.  It can get worse in that the bus is packed and Horen gets to spend the entire trip bumping into strangers every time the bus pulls to a harsh stop.  Shutting his eyes as he steps off, Horen reminds himself that this is for Jer and making sure Jer’s family likes him, and then he drags himself into the shops.

Walking through the shopping centre, trying to move with the crowd and not get in anyone’s way, Horen isn’t entirely sure where he’s going.  The first wave of shops is all clothing based so he ignores those. He can barely get an outfit together for himself, let alone someone else.  Besides, doesn’t everyone say shirts are a really lame present? He can’t get Jer something lame.  

Further in, he spots one of those gift-centric stores.  Horen doubts he’ll find what he wants in there, but it’s the first not-clothing or fast food shop he’s seen so he decides to give it a shot.  Walking around, pointedly ignoring the adult-section because no, Horen finds a few things Jer would like.  There are some cute cups and ones with phrases like ‘coffee’s just not my cup of tea’.  Some of the plates are really nice too, and the tea towels manage to make Horen laugh with their complaints about doing the dishes or cooking in general.  

Despite the small success, Horen accepts defeat about half an hour later.  He’s not going to find Jer’s present here. Sure, Jer would like a lot of this stuff but the present has to be perfect and a silly mug is not perfect.  Shuffling through people to get out of the store, pointedly not meeting the eyes of the cashier as he does so, Horen continues on.

The next shop he stops for is full of fancy candles and soaps.  This time he only wastes about fifteen minutes before admitting he’s just smelt twenty different candles and he can barely tell the difference.  The orange one is probably orange, and he’s semi-confident the green on is mint, but that’s the best he’s got. Vivianne, Jer’s best friend, would probably be a much better judge but if he has to message someone to figure out Jer’s present he might as well just tell Jer to dump him now.  What kind of boyfriend can’t figure out a present on his own? Besides, Vivianne will definitely judge him for getting a present this late.

Clearly wandering around isn’t working out for him, so Horen goes in search of a guide.  He’s pretty sure there’s a gaming shop somewhere in here and Jer definitely likes games.  

What feels like hours later, and is definitely three different guides later, Horen finally finds the place.  He quickly realizes Jer already owns about half the store and this is going to be way harder than he thought.  Narrow it now, he tells himself, what’s something Jer would definitely love. 

The answer is plushies.  Which is great because the store has an entire wall of plushies.  After staring at the wall for long enough the cashier is definitely judging him, realizing he has way more photos of their apartment and room than he thought he did, and looking back on the last few weeks of text messages where Jer was not-so-subtly sending him a wishlist, Horen finally picks one.  It’s just bigger than his chest and wide enough it’s annoying to carry with one hand.  Exactly the size Jer loves. Plus, the character is one of Jer’s favourite from the recent fighting game.  

It’s perfect. 

Or at least that’s what Horen tells himself as he pays for the toy, acutely aware of how late it’s getting and the fact stores will start closing soon.  Jer will love it, he adds as he makes his way to the way too long gift wrapping line. 

His confidence lasts until he’s made it a third of the way through the line.  

Jer will love it, but it’s not perfect.  It feels a little… cheap. Not price-wise, definitely not price-wise.  But it feels obvious. Oh, it’s Jer’s favourite game character in plushie form.  Who could have guessed he’d want that? Everyone, that’s who. Horen should be able to do better than that.  Like the little crows.  Who’d know crows are Jer’s favourite animals?  And know he loves homemade things best? A super attentive boyfriend who cares about him a lot.  Which Horen is, and does, and yes he wants Jer’s family to notice that but, more importantly, he wants Jer to know that.

Jer isn’t going to know that if Horen hands him some plushie just anyone could have gotten him.

“I’ll wrap it on the bus,” Horen says, stepping out of line and heading back the way he came.  There was a jewellery and engraving stall he spotted when he was searching for the gaming store.  He thinks he saw a few animal-themed pieces out of the corner of his eye, he just has to hope he was right.  And that the place is still open.

Thankfully, it is.  The girl behind the counter is talking to another customer when he gets there so he’s free to look over the charms without being asked questions he doesn’t want to answer and she probably doesn’t want to ask.  

The store does have animals charms, slim and shiny silver ones that Horen is pretty sure Vivianne would say look nice and she’s the only person he knows with a sense of style. 

“Please, please, please, please, please,” Horen chants as he looks over the animals until- 

“Hi sir, can I help you?”  The girl behind the stall asks.

“Is that a crow?”  Horen asks, pointing to the charm that he’s pretty certain is a crow, but it’s always best to check.

“Uh, yes it is.”  She confirms.  

“Perfect.”  Horen grins.  “Can I get that one and the cat and can you engrave this date on it?”  He asks, pulling up a date he has saved on his phone as an annual event.  

“Sure, when do you want them done?”  The girl says, pulling the two charms from the case.  

“How quickly can you do it?”  Horen replies. If he has to come back in the morning he will, but he hopes he doesn’t have to.  The girl hesitates a moment, looking to the clock before sighing.

“I can do it for you now.”  She answers.

“Thank you so much,” Horen says.  “You are a lifesaver. The present I ordered is going to be a month late and this will be perfect.”  He adds. It might be oversharing but hey, he’s had a stressful day and he can’t exactly tell Jer about all this. 

“I try.”  The girl laughs a little and steps away to engrave the charms.  Soon enough she’s done and ringing Horen up. Last-minute, Horen adds a gift bag that’s big enough for the plushie.  It’s not the same as wrapping it but there’s no way he can line up for wrapping and get home at a reasonable time.  Still, he doesn’t like that it’s so easy to see his gift.  Hmm….

“Hey, can I use some of that brown paper?  And borrow a pen?” He asks once he’s finished paying.

“Sure.”  The girl agrees.  She even passes him some sticky tape for good measure.

“Thanks.”  Horen grins.  He takes one of the necklaces and places it around the plushies neck before putting it in the bag.  Then he writes on the paper and tapes it to completely cover the present.

“I like it.”  The girl laughs a little, reading the message. 

“So will he, hopefully.”  Horen grins, handing her back her things.  This time he actually checks the bus timetable and ends up sprinting halfway across the centre to catch it.

Sitting on the bus, trying to catch his breath, Horen looks over his present.  

The bag is simple enough, just one of those generic glitter-covered gift bags.  Everything inside is hidden away by the brown paper that reads ‘NO PEEKING JER, I MEAN IT!’.  The plushie is an easy win, but it’s the necklace that Horen is both excited and terrified about.  

The date probably shouldn’t be that important to anyone else.  It’s not the date they first meet, it’s not their first date. It’s their third date, one they took to the zoo.  Nothing particularly important happened that day but Horen remembers it being The Moment. The moment he decided that this could be forever.  

That’s why, last year, he insisted on going back to the zoo on the same day.  It’s why he picked that day to officially give Jer the spare key to his apartment.  They went to the same zoo this year too.

He’s put the cat charm on Jer’s plushie while he’s keeping the crow, like a little reminder of the other.  Geez, it feels so cheesy even in his head but it’s a nice kind of cheesy.

All in all, Horen’s happy with the present.  It might even be better than the original.

But next year he’s buying Jer’s present in March and not going near a shopping centre.  He hates the Christmas season.

Or maybe he only hates some of the season, he amends on Christmas morning.  Why was he so worried anyway? Everyone’s so nice and the present was a success.  If the way Jer’s sobbing about how much he loves it is any indicator, at least. Smiling, sipping at his coffee, Horen admits this is a pretty good reason to like the holidays.