A Reflection of You

Smiles, handshakes, guffaws when appropriate, all the tricks we pick up over time to hide who are. We learn to manipulate the theme of our story to become the hero or heroine everyone expects, whether they exist or not.

We pick up our traits from observing what we believe works well for others. That person surrounded by followers, listening to his or her every word as if God speaks to only them, and they have not only all the answers we are looking for, but the reasons behind the answers.

People are basically the same. No one likes a bully, a braggart, a voyeuristic ensemble of words and actions. But we are capable of being engrossed in those antics should they be sprinkled with empathy, a splash of optimism, a daub of connection that places everyone in the same boat, although they may all be rowing in different directions.

It is the infallibility of our need to believe, trust in someone or something to a point, where no matter what the deviant aspects are, we are quick to overlook. We, unlike other animals tend to forgive and forget, rather than challenge their superiority as that entails a strength none of us believe we poses.

That strength however is not necessary to convey the identical meaning and purpose needed to employ others in our interests, whether you yourself believe them or not. It is all about presentation and showmanship that makes them inclusive, if you know the tricks. It is the principle that changes the thief to an entrepreneur, a murderer into a protector of social values. 

We forget the nature of the business, because we want to. The majority of people are unassuming, they wish only to be left alone, not bothered by mundane activity, not given the keys to the city or the five thousand dollars a week for life; well maybe some.  Most want to remain the face in the crowd that looks like every other face. Someone who you wouldn’t ask for the time of day because you would have assumed by their demeanor that they don’t have a watch, or any reason to own one. They are comfortable in being adrift in a calm sea of conformity.

I know how being taken advantage of because of the way you appear, or are expected to respond in situations, feels; I’ve had plenty of experience, as no doubt have you. You, after realizing you are either the hunter or the prey, have to choose. You have to become one or the other, even though neither appeals to you. It is a game, and there are only so many pieces, so many moves, and you can either win with the minimal abilities you believe you poses, or forage new ones. It doesn’t matter what you believe. What matters is that others believe you believe. It is, and has been the hook of conmen and snake oil purveyors over millennium. It is selling an illusion. There is no overhead because the customer provides for all materials and cost, basically by paying for something that exists, but only because they want it to.

To make a ninety-pound weekling into an Atlas type, takes only the means to convince someone you are not what they see, but what they want or need to see. You provide the impetus for their belief by gaining their trust, by becoming the everyman they know and will follow, because you are like them. You are honest, unassuming, dependable, trustworthy, and amiable. You show them who they want to see, and then become that person, if only superficially.

Some would call this deception, but in truth they deceive themselves. You only provide the ingredients from which they choose the who, what, and why, therefore you must be? 

There are no tricks involved, no deceptions, no slight of hand maneuvers to deceive, it is un-necessary, as people are only too willing to do that themselves. All you have to do is contain your insecurity, deploy your appropriately contrived vision of self, and let them do the rest.

Being someone who evolved from what many considered an ugly duckling into the perception of a swan, I can appreciate the feeling some have that they have been deceived, and therefore are not responsible for having been exploited. The portion of the con that is the most important to remember, is that the majority of people who allow themselves to be deceived, do so because they want to be. They find weighing the advantages and disadvantages of a given situation or person impossible because it requires them to pay attention to details. They are too busy for details. Most people have given up on the fact that they may know as much or more about something, than the person claiming to be an expert. If you don’t ask for certified credentials, then your interpretation of what is the truth or what appears to be reality has as much credibility as the one claiming sainthood.

Being the least of the least will get you nowhere except perhaps a passage or two in some bible referencing the anointed version of right and wrong. We live in a world where there are those who prey on those who doubt their own ability to decide for themselves, what is right, moral, or ethical. To be deceived without having provided the time and scrutiny to recognize the truth, can only be blamed on oneself.

A line from the movie “Usual Suspects,” I found to be enlightening because it is the antithesis of who we are, who we want to be, and who we have become. “The greatest deception the devil ever created, was convincing people he didn’t exist,”  paraphrasing, something to that effect. The lesson being that if you allow yourself to be influenced by perception you will be disappointed. And if you allow yourself to be deceived by your own perceptions, you will not only be disappointed, but will have only yourself to blame for your disappointment.

The devil exists because we need him to. God exists because we need Him to. We exist as we are, because we accept who we are. To blame others for our shortcoming can only be remedied by ourselves, when we recognize a need for change. Becoming someone you want to be, and finding the attributes that will take you there, gives you the authority to accept or reject the person you are.

I have learned the tricks, although they are not really tricks, but observations that allow me to shed my skin and become the one in the garden who suggest apples have the ability to turn you into the God you perceive yourself to be.