George Washington's Teeth

NEW HAMPSHIRE, 1776

"General Washington." Someone grabbed my arm. I turned around. "Sir, Congress just issued an order to attack the British in Brooklyn." "Well, Lieutenant Jade, does the Congress control what I do?" He looked at me like he was thinking of something to say without being called an overripe, useless tomato. " Sir, what if we tried what they say?"

 "If we try what they say we should do, we-" I gasped. I left my sword in my tent. I shoved him away and said, "Go to my tent and make sure that my sword is there. He bowed to me and said, “Yes, sir.” 

I screamed at him. “Stop wasting time! GO!”

He came back a couple of minutes later. “I looked, sir. It’s not there.”

I looked over the Terrain of New Hampshire. “Tell the soldiers to move out and tell Hamilton to get over here.” While waiting, I sat and sighed. That sword cost as much as, well, it was priceless. The British could sell it for enough money to beat us. They were already winning. This didn’t help. Hamilton arrived. He asked, “What’s wrong? Sir?” I stood up and said, “Nothing of your interest, Alexander. My sword has been stolen. Do you know what this means?’’

“No, sir”

“It means that there is a British spy in our camp. But we can’t have anyone going after him. Come. We’re going to Brooklyn.”

The journey would take quite long. I ran to Lee and told him, “I have changed my mind. You are the second in command. We can’t have Hamilton dying.”

“And we can have me dying?” He sneered. “I accept.”

I sneered back. “Good.”

I rode my horse to the front of the lines. We rode in silence for a bit. Then the smoke cleared. What I saw was horrible. The city of Brooklyn’s Meeting Place stood under a British flag. I raised my hand and yelled, “ATTACK!” A volley of arrows came from an unseen place. Gunshots fired from both sides. Then we saw the real thing. General Cornwallis sat on a horse, his big belly jiggling like Jello®. An army the size of a thousand Cornwallis size people kneeled, ready to shoot. Lee smiled. Hamilton pointed his gun at Lee. Lafayette copied. Soon, the whole army did the same. I held up a hand.

“Sir, he is a traitor.” 

“Don’t. He did it for his country.” They pointed their guns at the opposers. “Cornwallis. Nice job. Brooklyn is yours. I smiled. Hamilton came to me.

“Sir-”

“WE SURRENDER!” The thing was that my fingers were crossed. My smile melted. “Fire!” My soldiers looked at me. They shot. Cornwallis gawked at me. I held up my crossed fingers. He growled.

“Fire!”

A look of horror spread on his face. I looked down. A pool of blood was spreading from his chest. A British Commander yelled, “Get the General a medic!” 

I shot the medic. The commander looked at me. I looked at Lee. Lee looked at the air. 

“Lee! You sad excuse for a human!”

He raised his gun at me. 

I raised my eyebrows. Hamilton ran over and shoved his gun’s barrel into Lee’s back.

I sneered first this time. “Do it.”

He shrugged. “OK.” He pulled his trigger. Hamilton waved his hand in front of Lee’s head. He was holding a bullet.

“Lafayette, Hamilton, capture this traitor,” I laughed.

 Meanwhile, the battle was raging. A soldier grabbed my arm. A British soldier. Commander Howe. I kicked him and said, “Go toward the East River! NOW!” I raised a white handkerchief and nodded at Howe. 

He bellowed, “STOP FIRING” The noises of battle plunged to zero. Lafayette got the last shot. After everything had ended, he fired, killing a soldier. We drew back. When we camped next to the East River, I consulted Hamilton. “Someone still has my sword. We need to find them before they find us.”

THE BATTLE OF YORKTOWN, 1781

My sword was still lost. Lee had almost escaped. But we were winning the war. Lafayette had come up with a battle plan. The British attacked. But we were too quick. We drove them away, with the help of my bow and arrow; my new weapon. Finally, they raised a white handkerchief. We wondered if that meant freedom. Not yet. We negotiated the terms of surrender. I smiled. Cornwallis frowned and led his men out of Yorktown. I heard the sad song they were singing: “The world turned upside down! The world turned upside down.” 

“FREEDOM” yelled Hamilton. FREEDOM! The thought of it raced in my head. My sword. My wife. I had to get home. Suddenly, I knew who had my sword. I consulted Lafayette.

“Marquis. Get Lee.”

“Why Lee? Celebrate. Have some food. You must be tired.”

“I said get Lee, young man!”

He put both hands up. “OK.” He got up and ran. Lee came to me later in chains.

“Lee, give me it. 

“Only if you let me go.” 

“Why should I, Lee? Huh? Because I could have you killed right here.”

“Would you find the swo-”

“I don’t care about that, Lee,” I growl. “What I care about is you starting another war with the British!” 

He laughed. 

“Don’t worry about that,” he said. “I won’t. Please, Georgie. For me.” He looked pathetic. 

“Where is it? Tell me and I’ll have you released.” He smiled. “At your home. In Virginia. In your closet. We knew you wouldn’t go back there for quite a bit, so we hid it there.”

I nodded.

“I have to admit. That’s smart. Well, I have to go. MARQUIS! Come release this man!” I got on my horse and rode to Virginia. 

I got lost but I found my house in a couple of days. I sprinted up the front steps and tried to find my room.

“Ugh. Why is my house so big?” 

“Sir!” A maid popped out of the room that seemed to be mine. “This one’s yours, sir.”

“Thanks.”

I looked in the closet. There was a sword, neatly put on top of clothes. I picked it up, hugged it, and said, “Good to meet again British Bomber.” I unsheathed it. “I am ready for what comes next.”