I Don't Remember

"Can you keep a secret?"

Her rich hazel eyes stared right at me, wide open. Molasses black bangs flew with the wind, and her left overall strap had fallen off her shoulder. She was pretty, the type of girl people would stop and get a second look at on the street. I was the very opposite of her.  I had acne dotted all over my skin, topped with wild hair that could never be combed properly. I was a very mousy boy, so I  would always carry around a 5-inch pocket knife. I don't trust strangers easily, so carrying that pocket knife gives me a little reassurance that I'm safe.

It must have been a sight. A pretty girl talking to some weirdo ugly boy. The fact that Chris had pushed me into a murky puddle about two minutes before the bell rang didn't really help the situation. I had given up on the thought of heading to English class, I hated Mrs. Brown anyways. 

I didn't know why she was talking to me, I was a complete mess, soaking with dirty water. I haven't seen her much around the school, maybe once or twice. 

"S-Sure?"

She smiled, almost as if she was relieved. 

"Good. I was hoping you could, or else we would have a problem." She swiftly reached out her dry hand. I took it uncertainly, and I felt the warmth from her hand slowly massaging the cold away from me. 

"Name's Hollen. Nice to meet you", she said with a bubbly smile on her face, her wispy hair bouncing. 

"T-thanks. I'm L-Luis", I replied as I tried to squeeze some water out of my shirt. "Um. Wh-what was it?"

"What was what?" she responded as she lazily tied her hair.

"U-uh. You know. The se-secret?" 

"Ha. It wouldn't be a secret anymore if I told you."

She placed her hand onto mine, half dragging, half skipping me to the bathroom where, for the rest of the period, she would help me dry my clothes. 

Hollen was my first and only friend. We always hung out at the library, doing homework, reading, or just talking. She always did most of the talking, and I just sat and listened. I didn't mind, I liked it that way. Sometimes, I wouldn't listen, I would just sit and look at her. The way that she always smiled, the way she would adjust her glasses every time they dropped down a bit on her nose, the way that she….was her. I envied her in a way. So bold and confident, yet so kind.

After school, she would have to go and finish some chores up for her dad, so I would usually head home and do some homework before she would come around. 

Every day, when she came to my house, her eyes would be red and swollen.

Every day, I would ask her why. 

Every day, I got no answer.

We would always explore after school. Where? I don't know, anywhere but home. We would go into town or take a walk in the small woods near my house. 

We kept this up for years, and before we knew it, we had to part ways for college. I was going upstate, and she had to fly to a university on the East Coast. We had about a day together before Hollen had to leave. We could have had a week to say goodbye, but she had to go help her dad with something, maybe spend some time with him.

We took our very last adventure. We walked maybe half a mile into the woods, found some old gnarled stumps to sit on, and just sat there. The only noise that shattered the sacred silence we shared was the birds' tiny chirps and some waves of wind. 

We sat. 

The silence wasn't an awkward one. The silence was like an "I'm sorry" silence. "I'll miss you," silence. Almost a heartbroken silence.

August 24th. That was the day Hollen had to leave. Maybe I cried, maybe I didn't, I don't remember. All I remember is the sudden urge to visit her—just one last time. I ran to her house as fast as I could, praying that she didn't leave to go to the airport yet. I saw her dad's car still parked in the driveway, which was a good sign. 

I knocked on their door. 

"Hollen? You still there? It's Luis, I just wanted to say goodbye. Before...you know..."

No answer

I knocked again

"Hollen?.....Hollen?"

I heard a dish shatter. And a scream followed.

Worried, I checked to see if the door was unlocked. It was. I opened it and breathing heavily, I tried to find Hollen. I had never been inside her house, she would always come over to mine. 

Crunch. 

A broken piece of china crunched under my shoe. 

Crunch

Another piece

Crunch 

Crunch

Crunch

I tentatively followed the pieces, every crunch echoing through the damp and dark house. 

"Hollen?"

I turned a corner and saw her. She was gasping, cuts scattered on her face. She was leaning against a wall, and in front of her was her dad. He was holding a sharp piece of the broken dish, holding it almost like a knife. He turned to face me. His wrinkles creased his skin like it was paper, bruised purple lips, and his rich hazel eyes stared right      into       my      soul. 

He stabbed her. I couldn't do anything. My feet wouldn't move. I saw..

I saw 

it

dig 

into her chest. 

The blood. It was all a blur. I..I don't remember. The tears, it….blinded me. 

I felt my pocket knife, the one I always carried with me. I..pulled it out, 5-inch blade shining brightly in front of my eyes. I didn't see any other choice at the time. I gave him a taste of his own medicine. 

I don't remember. I...I don't remember much. I just remember looking down at my hands, covered in blood, sanguine on my jeans. 

I don't remember. Don't make me say it again. Please. I don't remember. I just looked at my hands...and then called you guys. 

Officer Ranley sat and thought for a moment. It was 11:34pm, and he was working overtime again. He had been one of the first officers to arrive at the murder scene. The interrogation room was silent for a moment or two. 

"Take him back to his cell," he ordered.

They dragged Luis away, the guards shutting the door on their way out. 

Officer Ranley twirled his pen, digesting the story he had just been told. Tired, he stood up, dusting off his pants. Grabbing his bag and phone, he headed out of the station. He hopped in his car, aimlessly tapping on his steering wheel as he glided down the 110 freeway. Taking the final turn to arrive at his home street, he thought about Luis again. He jangled his keys for a bit, trying to find the right one to open his door. As he stepped inside his house, he was greeted by his wife, who had been waiting for him since dinner. He chatted with her for a bit while gulping leftovers, and headed upstairs to kiss his daughter Lucy goodnight. 

"Lucy, honey? You still awake?"

He heard a little scurry under the blankets, and when he opened her door, he saw a flashlight under the covers go out. He chuckled. 

"Don't be reading late at night, or else you're going to get in big trouble from your Mama."

"Sorry, Daddy. How was work?"

"Tiring as always."

"Did anything interesting happen?"

"Yes, but-"

"Oh, Daddy, please tell me what happened. What's the story?"

"Lucy-"

"Pleasseeeee?"

He sighed.

"Alright, just this once."

"Yesss. Go on, tell me the story."

Officer Ranley thought for a moment. He took a deep breath, his eager daughter waiting for him to start.

"Can you keep a secret?"