Green Eyed

Piercing green eyes. Piercing. Maybe that's what scared them away, she thought to herself as she sat in the lonely shelter waiting for her time to run out. She knew that wasn't it, she was just lying to herself. I'd lie too. She'd rather drift away in denial than accept that it wasn't her eyes, her nose, her whiskers... it was the velvety coat that enveloped her. The black velvety coat that kept her warm at night. The same coat that kept them away.

Why me? How could I have done something to deserve this if I couldn't even open my eyes. I was a child, a baby... and already unwanted. What I really can't comprehend is the fact that my parents left me, why would they leave me - if they were like me? Green eyed.

I remember back when I first got here, a couple months old and filled with hopes and dreams, hopes of finding a family, dreams of starting one. Then again, I was a little girl, a naive little girl whose heart would stop every time someone walked into the shelter, whose heart would dance every time a little kid neared her cage, whose heart would sink every time another kid got dragged away by another parent with the same disgusted look on their face. That little girl was dead - and you got left with me. Like that quote... "Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed", because nobody wants a full-grown cat, especially not one with green eyes.

I wish my eyes were blue.

So I sat there, the clock ticking, as my time ran out. That’s when the store bell rang but I didn’t bother looking up, I didn’t see the point anymore because no matter who or what came through that door my life would stay the same forever. Even if I could change it… what’s the point so close to the end? Life had become too loud, too harsh, and too short all at once. I just had to learn how to accept and move on. How to understand that it was over for me. That’s when I heard the kindest voice, one that seemed to completely ignore my sadness and say, “Hello, I’m Nyx, I’m new here”. That’s when I did look up, and I knew that was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, I knew - the second my green eyes met hers.

I knew that this person could give me something I thought I’d never find again: a second chance at life. Even from an early age I was always very outgoing, I never had trouble making friends, but at some point I stopped, it got too hard watching them all leave, leaving me behind. I’d never had a friend.. like me. “Hi.”

That’s when I met Nyx, when my life began just as I thought it was ending. 

This time around I didn’t wait for the clock to tick. With Nyx by my side and a smile on my face I felt untouchable. I didn’t care what they thought of me. Everything about me. My green eyes. My pink paws. My black fur. I knew my time was ending and I wasn’t going to spend it hiding, not from them and definitely not from myself. I never understood why they looked at me like that why they called me bad luck or a witch. Now, I didn’t need to know, I didn’t care. She showed me how to not care.

Nyx and I were inseparable, that’s why my life broke right back into pieces when we realised that they were gonna separate us. I was older than her, I’d lived here all my life, so they decided it was my time, they couldn’t find me a home, they assumed it was the end of the line for me so they were just gonna hurry up the process in order to help some other naive orphan filled with hopes and dreams, one with a full life in front of it. 

I’d seen it happen before, I knew what it meant, I’d come to terms with it. Nyx on the other hand… she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The time we had together, amazing as it was, wasn’t near to enough, not in her eyes. 

I could see the tears, feel her curl a bit tighter, as if she was hoping it was only for a little while until something magical would happen. That’s when she looked at me one emerald eye to another, her eyes filled with a sudden hope, an excitement I didn’t expect to see on our final day. I knew immediately what she thought, what she wanted to say. So I agreed, she saved my life, the least I could do was spend what time I had left by her side… free. 

So we chose our moment, that perfect few seconds in which the cage door was open and we took our chance because quite frankly; we had nothing to lose. So we ran, and we ran and ran and ran, gasping for air but we kept running, car horns honking, but we kept running, until it was just us, just me and her and Mother Nature. You don’t realise how big the world truly is until your standing on the top of a tree looking down at the terrifyingly beautiful landscape around you. That moment where life just feels unreal. Not the unreal I felt before, where every day was the same, grey and empty like an unending winter night without a fireplace or someone to pet you where you get so cold at some point you just go… numb. No, I’m talking about the unreal that feels so real at the same time like a good scratch behind the ear or a scrumptious tuna meal, when you’re quite literally at the top of the highest tree paws can climb and everything is perfect. Old me would never have said that “perfect”, because I always thought perfect was a lie but if there was one thing I’d learnt from Nyx was to never settle for anything less than perfect if you know that that’s what you deserve.

Those were the best weeks of my life “me and you against the world” she’d say every night as she held me tight while we reminisced over our most recent adventure. Every day was new. Every day was special. Every day was passing. I could feel my bones getting weary and tired, along with my soul, no matter how hard I tried to fight it my time was running out. In the end all I have are the memories - the moments spent in time and togetherness. So one day as we sat on our tree side by side once more I told her. I told her how my time was running out, how I knew she could go on without me, how I’d love her forever. I told her that at the end of it all, it was me, and her against the world.